Emerald Green
New Here
Hi
I apologize in advance for my story being so long.
I am very confused and I may even be in denial. The other night I went out with this guy that I barely knew. We talked about our kids and common interests and our plans for the future, where we wanted to be in 5 years type of thing. Well, he was very charming, handsome, sweet, and gentlemanly. So, as the night continued, I let my guard down and suggested we go back to my place, since it was closer, and watch a movie and talk some more. And I emphasized that I did not want anything to happen. I told him we needed to know one another much better before we took anything further. He agreed and we proceeded to go back to my place. We talked and had a movie on, but we were talking more so than watching the movie. I thought we were having a very in depth conversation when all of the sudden he jumped on top of me and started kissing me. I was shocked and pushed him off and told him, I told you that nothing was going to happen. He again said he was okay with that, he just wanted a kiss. So we started talking again and he did this again. Only this time he grabbed me by my wrists pinned them to the couch and began to choke me as he was kissing and biting me. I told him no and to please stop. He got up and I thought it was over, then before I could get up he pinned me again only this time he pinned me with my body weight. He tried putting his hand down my pants and I struggled enough to get one hand free and grabbed his hand to push him away, but he was considerably stronger and I barely got him to stop. I told him again to please stop and I didn't want to do this. He let me up again and once again, before I could get up he pinned me again. He flipped me around and pinned my hands to my chest while he tried to perform oral sex on me from behind. I managed to get one hand free again and pushed his head away from me. As he sat up he grabbed my wrist and pinned me again. He began choking me again saying, you like this don't you baby, don't you? I tried to talk, to tell him no, please stop, but he had me pinned so hard and had his hands around my throat and I was unable to speak. He began unbuttoning his pants and I kept thinking, please don't let this happen. He put his fingers inside me and began kissing and biting me on my neck and face again. I told him no once again and to please stop that he couldn't do this to me. Then he covered my mouth and penetrated me with his penis vaginally. He kept thrusting and telling me how good I felt and he ejaculated very quickly. It was almost like the more I fought and struggled, the more turned on he was. Once he had finished, he continued to stay on top of me as if he were going to try and do it when he became aroused again. I have bruises on my chest and neck. My pelvis is extremely sore and I am having uterine discomfort. I know I have to get checked out, but I am terrified.
The reason I am confused is because I feel like maybe I sent signals to him that I didn't realize I had and he thought it was okay. He text me the next morning and I got nauseous. He asked if I was okay and if he could see me again. I politely told him, at this time I don't think that is a good idea. (I wanted to be nice because he now knows where I live and I didn't want to upset him.) He replied and said, I am so sorry, I shouldn't have been so aggressive. I didn't know what to say. I just told him I wasn't expecting anything to happen and it caught me off guard. And that I didn't want to do it. He said obviously, I'm not ready and I need to work on what the f**k is wrong with me. I told him I would pray for him and he said Thank you.
I am so scared to go to the police or emergency room because I don't want them to judge me for making such a poor decision. I know it was extremely ignorant of me to invite someone I barely knew back to my house. I don't want them to say, well, you're the idiot that invited him over and let him come in. And did I let him do this or make him think this was okay? I am so confused and I don't want to call it what I think it is. It just makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
Thank you in advance for any advice
I apologize in advance for my story being so long.
I am very confused and I may even be in denial. The other night I went out with this guy that I barely knew. We talked about our kids and common interests and our plans for the future, where we wanted to be in 5 years type of thing. Well, he was very charming, handsome, sweet, and gentlemanly. So, as the night continued, I let my guard down and suggested we go back to my place, since it was closer, and watch a movie and talk some more. And I emphasized that I did not want anything to happen. I told him we needed to know one another much better before we took anything further. He agreed and we proceeded to go back to my place. We talked and had a movie on, but we were talking more so than watching the movie. I thought we were having a very in depth conversation when all of the sudden he jumped on top of me and started kissing me. I was shocked and pushed him off and told him, I told you that nothing was going to happen. He again said he was okay with that, he just wanted a kiss. So we started talking again and he did this again. Only this time he grabbed me by my wrists pinned them to the couch and began to choke me as he was kissing and biting me. I told him no and to please stop. He got up and I thought it was over, then before I could get up he pinned me again only this time he pinned me with my body weight. He tried putting his hand down my pants and I struggled enough to get one hand free and grabbed his hand to push him away, but he was considerably stronger and I barely got him to stop. I told him again to please stop and I didn't want to do this. He let me up again and once again, before I could get up he pinned me again. He flipped me around and pinned my hands to my chest while he tried to perform oral sex on me from behind. I managed to get one hand free again and pushed his head away from me. As he sat up he grabbed my wrist and pinned me again. He began choking me again saying, you like this don't you baby, don't you? I tried to talk, to tell him no, please stop, but he had me pinned so hard and had his hands around my throat and I was unable to speak. He began unbuttoning his pants and I kept thinking, please don't let this happen. He put his fingers inside me and began kissing and biting me on my neck and face again. I told him no once again and to please stop that he couldn't do this to me. Then he covered my mouth and penetrated me with his penis vaginally. He kept thrusting and telling me how good I felt and he ejaculated very quickly. It was almost like the more I fought and struggled, the more turned on he was. Once he had finished, he continued to stay on top of me as if he were going to try and do it when he became aroused again. I have bruises on my chest and neck. My pelvis is extremely sore and I am having uterine discomfort. I know I have to get checked out, but I am terrified.
The reason I am confused is because I feel like maybe I sent signals to him that I didn't realize I had and he thought it was okay. He text me the next morning and I got nauseous. He asked if I was okay and if he could see me again. I politely told him, at this time I don't think that is a good idea. (I wanted to be nice because he now knows where I live and I didn't want to upset him.) He replied and said, I am so sorry, I shouldn't have been so aggressive. I didn't know what to say. I just told him I wasn't expecting anything to happen and it caught me off guard. And that I didn't want to do it. He said obviously, I'm not ready and I need to work on what the f**k is wrong with me. I told him I would pray for him and he said Thank you.
I am so scared to go to the police or emergency room because I don't want them to judge me for making such a poor decision. I know it was extremely ignorant of me to invite someone I barely knew back to my house. I don't want them to say, well, you're the idiot that invited him over and let him come in. And did I let him do this or make him think this was okay? I am so confused and I don't want to call it what I think it is. It just makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
Thank you in advance for any advice
