Coping with being back in the environment that gave me PTSD in the first place

[Inkiing]

Hi!

Thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I’m out of therapy for the summer, just can’t afford it and since my school accepts my insurance the therapist I see thru them doesn’t cost me out of pocket but only available to me during the school year, meaning all summer I won’t have access to therapy.

Im back in my home again for the next 3 months, and it’s been 4 months since I was diagnosed with PTSD because of the people at home. It’s day 1 and I’m already noticing a visible shift in my overall being. I’m no longer interested in the things that make me happy, I’m having a hard time eating and/or feeling hungry, and I’m more on edge and irritable. I should also mention I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria and these people refuse to accept or acknowledge my transition so I account some of these feelings to that too.

I’m having trouble coping and I was hoping some of y’all might have some tips I could try, couldn’t hurt I guess. A lot of my therapy so far has just been me venting and getting validation, I’m just trying to learn to accept things without being angry first so I’m a little short on coping mechanisms.

Thanks!
Finn (he/him)

 

[katkit]

Have you tried breathing - 1,2,3 in 1,2,3 out. I am sorry to hear you have to live in difficult circumstances.

 

[Ecdysis]

Hi, the forum's got brand new AI therapists and a few of us have started using them and are finding them surprisingly helpful. You might want to give it a try. Go to the "Ask Dr Catalyst" or "Ask Dr Chase" parts of the forum and start a thread there. You can also check out the threads other people have started there, to get an idea of how it works and there's tips and you can ask questions in the "AI Discussion" section of the forum.

 

[whiteraven]

I'm wondering what you are doing for those three months? Are you working? When I was in school and then home for summer break, I worked one year and did a LOT of volunteer work the others. That kept me out of the house most of the day and away from the people I just couldn't cope with.

Think of ways you can use this time away from home. Maybe volunteer to do work related to your degree or just do stuff you really like doing and don't have the chance to do otherwise.

 

[sidptitala]

I agree with the poster above that being out of the house as much as possible is a great strategy. This really helped me when I've been in your position. I was surprised how much simply staying out late and coming home when everyone else was already in bed helped.

If you don't already have one, I'd recommend trying to get a simple summer job that might introduce you to a lot of people. Postal worker, work in a cafe with lots of interesting customers- anything that keeps you busy without stressing you out too much (but still give you a small sense of achievement at the same time). It's easier to meet people this way also.

Also, are there trans or lgbt groups where your family live that you could join? Many meetup groups/ advocacy organisations etc will have something like a peer support group or even just social occasions that won't make up for therapy, but could help you find some of that validation and space for venting socially.

If you live in a city or larger town, there might be (theatre, music, cinema) festivals you can volunteer at. As well as meeting people you will also usually get free tickets to the shows.

You could also get really into a hobby that will help you meet people, even if you're just using it for something to do. Is there a trans basketball team but you only sort of like basketball? Join it anyway, or volunteer to do something for the team like keep score.

I also think taking care of something or someone is often good for this. You could advertise yourself as a dog walker or start growing plants on your windowsill (or see if there is a community garden you can go out to volunteer at).

Even if you are low in energy for all of the above, you could try going to the library or a cafe or a park to read. It's ok to stay there for hours just to be out of the house. I can't emphasise enough how dramatically better my symptoms would get just from leaving the house, no matter what the reason was.

 

[Friday]

I’m having trouble coping and I was hoping some of y’all might have some tips I could try, couldn’t hurt I guess. A lot of my therapy so far has just been me venting and getting validation, I’m just trying to learn to accept things without being angry first so I’m a little short on coping mechanisms.

1. Make plans for the next however many years quarter off, rather than returning to an abusive “home”.

That may not seem like it would help “now”… except it often does. Maybe it’s simply the knowing that internships, and quarters abroad, and whatever are either already set up, or are being set up. That now is just a VERY temporary place, being escaped from.

Personally, I always took winter quarter off, (snowboard season ) and continued through summer quarter (when the school is 80% empty, professors are desperate for anyone who gives a damn/engages/GREAT contacts forged amongst the faculty, and half the courses are “intensive” 1 quarter = 1 year).

I have an amaaaaazing family. No reason for me not to go home over summer break… except? I enlisted at 17yo, had already served my country and been working abroad for years before I started university, married, with an infant. So the whole “I’m 18, and this is my first time away, and I have nowhere else to go?” Simply didn’t apply. I was already “home”. Every single day, of every single quarter. I STILL took quarterly internships, etc. Because that’s competitive.

The whole idea of you “Have” to go “home”, becuase that’s what everyone does? Pfft. That’s what maybe half the student population does. At least 1/3 are off and about (internships, semesters abroad, whatever), and the remaining 20%? Are split between non-traditional, high-achieving (they don’t take a quarter off, but continue their studies), and working their assess off whilst they can (60-80-120 hrs per week), so they can only work part time (or not at all) during the school year.

Choose how & where you want to spend your time. You’re not obligated to return “home”. Except by lack of imagination. Turn your creativity UP, and figure out how YOU want your time spent, and where.

2. Ditto, everyone else… get the f*ck out as much as possible over this summer.

 

[Jennifer Mc]

Hi!

Thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I’m out of therapy for the summer, just can’t afford it and since my school accepts my insurance the therapist I see thru them doesn’t cost me out of pocket but only available to me during the school year, meaning all summer I won’t have access to therapy.

Hi. I relate to your story and I’m sorry for your grief. I lost my mom 2 1/2 years ago and I’m still living in our home and plan to do so but I struggle every single day cuz everything is a constant reminder and that’s been very hard for me. All our memories are here. My dad died in the bedroom and my mom passed in the living room. I’ve never disassociated before she past but I don’t know what to do because I’m getting worse. I was petitioned on Feb to psychiatric hospital for 5 days. I’m looking & learning new coping skills & techniques but all n all, my mental state is much stronger and not in a good way and supersedes most intervention.