Coping With Trauma

[Toriplays]

I'm new here. I know I developed coping mechanism to deal with my trauma. I have always worked nights because I don't have to deal with a lot of people. I try to limit the stimulus in my life because I'm easily triggered. I get triggered in traffic. I keep my emotions locked up. I rarely cry. I seem to have a strong need to be in control of my feelings and reactions. I rarely feel connected to people. I feel disconnected the majority of the time. I dissociate a lot. I often get so lost I forget where I am. When I was young I didn't feel like I was real. Life often feels like an illusion to me. So, I've created a life that manages these stressors. Anyway, I haven't dealt with any of it. I've just pushed it down. I take antidepressants and stimulants due to ADD. I think most people would be surprised how tough my past was. I think I come off as very confident but unapproachable. I don't believe most people have a clue. Well, this is the beginning. I'm also a very good listener. I'm honored to hear others stories and be supportive. I'm so glad I found you guys :)

 

[ladee]

Welcome! And we are glad you found us too.
I relate to people not knowing what's going on with me. Not so much now..as at the beginning of my healing journey.
Lots of folks here to listen and share with.

 

[Freedomfighter]

I'm new here. I know I developed coping mechanism to deal with my trauma. I have always worked nights...

Welcome, you will find we are a bunch of people you can pretty much tell anything to. That is the beautiful thing about this forum, no fear, we all love to help each other. I too have to limit the stimulus that is forced onto me in my life. However when I am home I decide which stimulus is allowed into my private life, and which is not. Stimulus from work and other social activities like shopping is almost always negative, therefore I have absolutely no interest in connecting with people that emit negative thoughts and acts and aggression. I would not describe that as dissociation, merely an act of active retreat from influences that are of absolute no value or purpose. Many people, unfortunately fit that description. Yes, traffic is a major stressor, no doubt.

Yes, most people have no clue. I am unapproachable only to the ones that are not human or humane, I am totally approachable to honest and well meaning people.

I hope you will learn and grow with us, it can be incredibly tough but also very rewarding.

 

[Toriplays]

Welcome, you will find we are a bunch of people you can pretty much tell anything to. That is th...

Hi Freedomfighter,
I get so sad when I come to this website. I just read someone's trauma diary. Now, I wish I hadn't. I can't get those images out of my mind.
I'm feeling very overwhelmed and confused.
I usually avoid coming back because it's painful. It's heartbreaking...all the horror.
Yet, I feel like I can be there for others too.
It'll take me a while to share more.
I have had friends for over ten years that don't know my story. Most things my husband doesn't even know. It's not easy to share this.
It's not even that I'm self-centered and believe I'm the only one who has suffered. I know I'm not alone. It's just I've pushed it all down so far.
I was the target child in my family of origin. I rarely have any contact with my family because I can't handle all those painful memories. I left as soon as I could and started a new life for myself. I feel like everyone betrayed me. The ones I loved have passed away.
Please feel free to share more with me.
I know this is all a process and I'm grateful for your response.