Cosmetology School Graduate

[EvenStrongerNow]

Well, I did it. I can't believe that I did it, but I graduated Cosmetology school. While I intended to go for Psychology, I dropped out of community college and signed up for beauty school. It's something that I wanted to do and because nobody said they think I should. It was a decision based on my own voice.

I take my licensing exam in 2.5 weeks. Even though I graduated at the top of my class with a 98%, I still feel great anxiety like what if I don't pass? Graduating felt good, but not as good as I hoped. I still feel like I'm not good enough inside and I keep asking myself in the mirror, who is this person? Then I feel greater anxiety because I'm sure that everyone will find out that I'm nothing more than an imposter. It's an awful feeling.

Anyway, I started getting into a stay up all night, sleep til noon pattern again. I don't want to self sabotage again. I should be sending my resume to salons letting them know that I will have my license soon and am looking for a job, but I just can't fight the feeling of fear. It paralyzes me. I hate having PTSD. I'm so afraid to work because of triggers.

How do you guys fight through it?

 

[BaRtMaN]

Congrats on graduation! That is awesome! I would work on getting back on a schedule slowly by starting to go to bed at 11pm and when used to that go another hour earlier until you get it where you want it.

I still do not work and couldn't because of chronic pain, PTSD, Anxiety that triggers me into anger...I can just see my boss chewing me out for something I didn't do, that would not be so good for him....lol! However, I have severe depression and agoraphobia too. I just have too many things that can set me off along with other things that I could never go back to work and keep a job.

Sorry I cannot be of more help on that part, but congrats on the completion of school! :)

 

[DharmaGirl]

Congrats!! That must feel so good! They way I'm planning to get through it is by using my DBT skills to stay present. I can whip out an exercise on my breaks and remailn present throughout the day. I am hoping this works. I am on long-term disability right now, so when I go back to work it will be considered a trial for 6 months. I'm finding that the whole key for me is staying present.