Couldn’t go to class stressful

[Deleted member 37868]

Just decided not to go to a class. A lot of reasons. No panic attack just feeling really insecure, stressed, and in physical pain (my fibromyalgia is acting up). I feel like I’m in over my head, I have so many things working against me it’s ridiculous. I told my professor in my previous class that I need an extension, I’m registered with Accesibility services but it made me feel gross. Like really really gross. I don’t doubt my intelligence, but I just can’t get stuff done. I’m putting this down as a bad week, missing one class per course isn’t awful. One late assignment doesn’t mean I’m going to fail. He was so sweet and accommodating but it makes me feel gross to be vulnerable like that. It’s like admitting I’m weak. I just feel awful about myself in general like a loser for having these problems. I know I didn’t choose any of this, I know I’m fighting my absolute hardest. But I just wanna cry. I don’t cry just FYI.

 

[Friday]

It was one of the things I really loved about school... I could essentially come and go as I pleased. Since I started school with a 2 month old? There was a whole lot of coming & going! I didn’t have a 4 point (close, but not quite), but I still got into 3 über competitive programs and was asked to continue. Were there hard times? Absolutely. But barring practicums & midterms/finals every other day was up for grabs. Shoot the professor an email, grab the assignments, and take care of me & my life the way I needed to. So. Dang. Much. Flexibility to work with. :D Loved it.

Don’t get me wrong, I do very much remember early days of freaking out in my car in the parking lot over being late (can’t, have to, can’t, have to)... or agonizing over missing a date or changing a deadline. Never did disability services, just negotiated 1:1 with my profs. But those early freak outs led me to REVELLING in the freedom of school all the more, in all the years that followed.

 

[Deleted member 37868]

It was one of the things I really loved about school... I could essentially come and go as I pleased. Si...

Honestly I can’t relate to this and I got a pang of jealousy, which I don’t feel often, like almost never. My professors have never been accommodating, besides a few good apples lol, k 2 of them have been nice. Basically they are breaking the rules without a doctors note or accessibility services, where on earth do you go to university lol. I had a documented suicide attempt last year, and a professor didn’t give me a one day extension for a paper, because I wasn’t registered with AS, which means you have to appeal, which is a horrible beaurocractic process where you have to reveal your soul to ppl who will judge whether you are worthy. I mean don’t get me wrong that’s great that your university was like that, but boy mine isn’t.