Couldn't Give A... About My Appearance

[xena21]

I couldn't actually give a crap. I've stopped shaving (legs, armpits the whole shebang)

I think I'm a mirror image of you. I only shower when absolutely necessary. I'm glad you wrote this post. I have a huge problem with my self identity. I hate myself for one thing and don't look in mirrors. I hate my body so don't care what others think or how bad I smell. I put a hat on depending on how greasy my hair seems. My therapist looks at me funny sometimes but oh well.

I have OCD as well so that hampers things, but my OCD is based on my PTSD obsessions of sexual abuse, so taking a shower is extremely hard. I take one if I'm lucky once a week. I definitely don't think you are abnormal or anything in the realm of abnormal. PTSD is a miserable thing and who cares what other people think?

 

[Caterpillar]

I don't care a whole lot about my personal appearance as a matter of course. I keep myself reasonably clean, but I refuse to shave my legs or pluck anything or do fancy, time-consuming things with my hair. Those things don't make me feel pretty or good about myself, they just make me feel fake. Anyway, I'm in a committed relationship now and I was fat and unshaven with flyaway hair when my fiance met me, so obviously it's good enough for the only person who matters.

My house is another story. It definitely reflects my mood, with getting messier when I'm depressed (and it's no picture of cleanliness when I'm not). During past depressive episodes it's gotten so out of control I was completely unable to face cleaning it, and my mother had to come and do it for me. I'm pretty proud that I've managed to keep it out of that state for over 4 months now, actually.

And yeah, I have trouble getting dressed and brushing my hair when I'm depressed, but I force myself to do it and shower eventually. I've always been afraid that if I stopped doing basic self-care someone would lock me up.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Count me in too. When I am depressed I let things go and my house was a total disaster. No dishes in the sink because I used paper plates.

I try to look good now when I go out. But when I am at home it is the comfortable clothes I wear and I have a hat for bad hair days which helps so much.

I was a care giver to my husband with dementia and the house was picked up but not dusted nor vacumned and I got more depressed looking at it. Then he died and I had someone clean the house for me.

Self care is now a shower every three days, lotion sometimes. Deoderant and perfume and soft pretty clothes. I do the laundry one time a week now.

But it is depression that makes me not want to care how I look. I went through many years not caring.

Hard to believe, I used to take a shower once a day and washed my hair too.

Now I get my nails done on my hands and feet and go to a hair salon to do my hair once a month. I can so relate. Hugs.

 

[Fadeaway]

I have gone through stages like this. It started when I was a teen. For most teenage girls, how they look is all they can think of. I wouldn't shower until my hair was so greasy others insisted I shower.

Lately I have been falling into that again., just little thing like not plucking my eyebrows (I am obsessive about having well manicured eyebrows.) Not caring for my nails and other little things. Not bad yet, but I can see the trend.

This is the same for me. Exactly the same. I feel a certain sense of comfort and safety with a mess, but then I start noticing it and feel like it's a bit too much and I need to clean it all up, but don't.

Thank you so much for saying this. I have tried to explain this to others but I thought I was crazy and alone on this.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

It can be so difficult sometimes. It doesn't seem so bad when I can pretend everything's ok but when it's obvious to other people, it feels like I'm forced into talking about things when I really don't want to.

I don't know about anyone else but when I feel really bad the last thing I want to do, is explain and talk to people. I can do that after I feel a bit better but not while I'm at my worst.

Well at least we are all saving water with not showering everyday, having a pile of dishes and I certainly have an overflowing washing bin. Every cloud has a silver lining.

Xx

 

[Philippa]

I did the dishes today. :D And had a shower...Yay!

 

[xena21]

My group I go to must chuckle a bit...because I give my positive information of the week if I showered or not, and how many times.

I'm sure they are happy when I said I did!

 

[Fadeaway]

This thread has done so much good for me. I am lucky enough to have a guy who is very understanding. If he comes home from work and I start apologizing that I didn't do anything all day, he will tell me not to worry about it. However, in the past, especially when I was worse than I am now, I was given a lot of crap about it. I struggle with a tremendous amount of guilt that sometimes I can't force myself to shower and clean the house.

I think the stress of feeling like you have to do these things or else, makes it harder to do these things. It becomes a vicious cycle.
Just reading some of the replies on here have relived some of that stress, just by knowing I am not the only one who struggles with this.