CPTSD Traits?

[Iam]

I am so sorry that you are struggling CA. I understand though, I really do. I used to be a top salesperson, now I don't work.

One of my T's had me identify the "frozen ego states" in me. I found 5 plus the inner critic. No I am not DID. She has had me create a container to put my traumas and anxieties in. Mine is a file cabinet that has a big lock on it. She also had me imagine a safe place where I can go and calm down. The last thing she had me create was a "homebase" for the girls (frozen ego states). Each girl has her own room that she decorated however she wanted. There is also a common area where they can all meet. When I have to function I send the girls to homebase and give them whatever they need. They can play, watch TV (even watch what I am doing on the TV) I promise and do check on them periodically. Sounds weird I know, but it does help. It takes a lot of practice and sometimes I really struggle with it.

She has also encouraged me to comfort "the girls". That has been a long process. The 7 yr old in particular was very angry and distrusted me. She started letting me closer. Last week my T had me write her a letter and that opened the flood gates (including new memories and flashbacks). I have found that thinking of these ego states as separate parts of me, with their own personalities and needs, has made it far easier to learn to comfort myself. When I comfort them....I feel comforted.

Anyway, It has helped me to function outside a controlled environment. Maybe it's something that you might want to bring up to and explore with your T.

Good luck...you will get through this, it will get easier, just keep at it!

 

[alixipain]

I'm exactly the above list. I had most of my childhood locked away in my mind up until a motorcycle accident 16 years ago unlocked it for me. Before the accident I had no real problem in life, what I went through while in the service didn’t truly affect me very much. But now as the years go by, the memories that are getting unlocked by my mind doctors come and rip me into shreds, my thoughts on life aren’t very kind, and those that are around me cannot understand why I am the way I am at times. I hid for a long time from society for I thought that what I was having was something programmed into my mind as a movie I once seen and held onto it for some reason. Tried self therapy by painting, sculpting, and writing, yet none helped and I found myself back to square one frustrated at the world and myself. After years of doctors and years of therapy (self and with Doctors) I still remain as I did after the accident, yet with a understanding that I am ill, The understanding that I have to control what comes into my household for when I am not myself I am highly suicidal, and with the knowledge that when I hit rock bottom call my doctors not those that I consider my friends for all they do is question me on why I am feeling the way I do and interrogating me on what has brought these feelings on. For at times those that I consider as my friends are more damaging to me than even my own thoughts. I plan on returning back to see my doctors, I just don’t want to relive the experiences as they say I need to for I relive them on a daily bases in my sleep and in my relationship. (Which to me I need to end for its becoming detrimental to me as a human).

 

[chasing_absolution]

I think being in a relationship with this is so hard. I cling to the relationship like a drowning man to a life preserver even though I say I don't want the relationship. I realize now that I sought out rescuers while in the abuse..and after I still sought one. Someone to save me because I feel I cannot save myself. That has not worked out well for me, to ay the least. I know my relationship is detrimental to my recovery, I feel trapped and dependant, which I hate, but feel immobilized to be able to help myself without him. He doesn't understand and gets very angry with me for something he sees as my "choice" to be this way. I would very much like to be able to walk away from this relationship but feel panic at the prospect of it ending. I too cannot talk to anyone about how I feel. I get told I just have to STOP thinking these thoughts and do something or think about something else. God, if it were only that easy to run away from your mind.

 

[No Folded Hands]

After reading through this thread I am wondering if it's likely someone could have both PTSD and complex PTSD. I have diagnosed PTSD from an incident involving near-lethal physical trauma while in military service. I do not seem to have the full symptomology the basic consensus here seems to attribute to "complex PTSD" (first time I've run into the term, still trying to get it clear in my own head), but some of it makes me sit up and re-read, if you see what I mean. I took a look at a definition on another site and immediately thought it could be applied to abused kids and POWs (which I am not) but now wonder if some form of it may occur in a military situation involving years of ongoing harassment from a CO. It is not like being a POW, but perhaps in some ways it's similar enough. Thoughts, anyone?

Wish I could say something helpful, Chasing Absolution. I think I was there a few years ago...and I don't think I can say I never have problems stopping thinking certain thoughts. But I can tell you that sort of thing doesn't happen as often now, and is often easier to turn off or can be turned off more quickly,and I can share how that happened for me. (I'm not sure this is the right forum for that, but I'd hate to say nothing if it can aid.) Someone I can trust told me "I can help you, if you let me" --meaning it had to be something I wanted to try, not his decision-- and proceeded to help me perceive the funny side. It's tough at first, and never gets easy for everything, but making space for humor can lead to actually seeing something as funny at the moment, which can lead to seeing more options.

 

[Iam]

After reading through this thread I am wondering if it's likely someone could have both PTSD and complex PTSD.

Welcome to the forum No Folded Hands. I have often wondered the same thing considering the different traumas I have experienced. Though my primary T says C-PTSD is not in the DM so discounts it completely. I have been diagnosed with PTSD as that is the only formal diagnosis that can be given me. I've come to the conclusion that it doesn't really matter. The treatment of both is very similar and my Ts know of my ongoing childhood abuse, domestic violence and rapes at ages 7, 10 and 13 (by strangers not family)....in fact I have not experienced any major trauma since I was 18 yrs old and left my parents home. I assume your T is aware of traumas you experienced as a child and will suggest the proper therapy.

Glad you have found the forum. You will find lots of information here and support from people who truly care.

Wishing you all the best,
Lauren

 

[chasing_absolution]

I don't think C-PTSD strickly applies to being held hostage in a physical way. I think it can apply to mental entrapment. In a military setting where you are required to answer to your CO I would think that would constitute a mentally hostage situation if he were abusive. Much the same as man who does not beat his wife but emotionally and mentally terrorizes her everyday. I really don't see the difference in the two scenerios.

 

[blueangel371115]

this sounds like me since I can remember. Spooky.

 

[Teddy]

Buggar. I came on late at night, every one else is in bed, read this feed and now am 'stuck' on the couch. I sort of stopped reading the symptoms a while ago as I freaked myself out as I had them all. I don't hide under a blanket but I sure wish I could on some days. I have hidden in my house, in a cupboard and I always hide from the phone. I have found that I get well for a while and feel like there is nothing wrong and then Wham, it is on full blast. Every day I have troubles with 'stuff' but some days I feel it worse than others.
I sure get why some one would not want to admit to having this disease. It is very unsettling. Most people think I am just a bit of a drama queen and worry and think too much. I was told once I was a 'heavy weight friend' and they weren't talking about anything physical.
I forget to eat because I don't get hungry. I forget to drink because I don't get thirsty. I avoid having a shower and I have no idea why and by the time I have tried to figure it out, I have forgotten what I was figuring on. I can be on one side of a room and told to come eat my sandwich which is on the other side of the room, I answer that I will, put something down and have to be told again to come eat as I forgot again. (Today I had to be asked at least 4 times and each time I forgot! and it was in a space of about 3 minutes in total)
I feel stupid, I get mad with myself and frustrated. Some days I have a great day, normal laughs and getting work done, then Whammo the next one is hopeless again!
I have spent many a time looking at a potato and wondering how to cook it. I am 44 and have been married for 22 years with 3 kids. And some days a potato is just impossible to figure out.
I am so good at masking the symptoms because I am so ashamed that I can have a full blown anxiety attack with full muscle cramps, looking for a blanket and sizing up under the table, I feel like vomiting, All the noises around me seem to register at an extremely loud level and I am stuck in my chair and can't move, yet through all this can sit and talk (or appear to be talking) to a whole group of people and look as if I am having a fabulous time. All the time trying to remember how to use a mobile phone and if I call an ambulance will they be able to help me as I appear to be normal.

Anyone got any clues on how to fix all these 'symptoms' that we have all just listed, AND FAST???

 

[blueangel371115]

I'm not officially diagnosed with CPTSD because it's not in the DSM IV but I can identify with a lot of the symptoms that people have already listed. One that I will add though is:

Eating Disturbances

This is something that has plagued me for years. I suppose I use starvation as a method of controlling my life and as punishment. If something bad happens in my life and I feel it was my fault, I stop eating.

ohh my god, so do I. A light went on in my head. Maybe I should be reevaluated. I see a new T next week. I'll look into as I seem to fit C-PTSD more than PTSD there were a few seperate traumas. Not sure.

 

[Aine]

ohh my god, so do I. A light went on in my head. Maybe I should be reevaluated. I see a new T next week. I'll look into as I seem to fit C-PTSD more than PTSD there were a few seperate traumas. Not sure.

I think it might be a good idea to talk to your new T about it. Let us know how it goes, okay?
Good luck!
*hugs*

 

[blueangel371115]

I think it might be a good idea to talk to your new T about it. Let us know how it goes, okay?
Good luck!
*hugs*

will do, I see her tomorrow

 

[Marchesa]

Hello Grandpalw,

If you ask a CPTSD sufferer how their CPTSD differs from PTSD, how would they know? The same if you ask a PTSD sufferer how their PTSD differs from CPTSD, they probably would know that, either. You might try various web searches to get a more specific answer to your question. CPTSD has been (generally) described as PTSD (often) with Borderline Personality issues. Good luck.

New to this site and just come across this. Apologies if this was picked up later in the thread as I have not read it all.

I lived with a BPD for 18 months. Set me back tremendously as although I had no PTSD diagnosis at the time I was more than aware of my condition. BPD is very different to my mind but do acknowledge every one is different.

Unfortunately for me the BPD was a compulsive liar and of course like many here I have issues with trust. He drew me in and I tried to ignore my suspicions as I am more than aware that I have had them about everyone new I have met post trauma and even begun to doubt the motives of people I have known all my life, so there comes a point where you have to trust. However, there was more than the lies, he morphed into a male version of me, used my words and phrasing, my likes, my style - think Single White Female type of behaviour here - I have attracted some people like this in the past as I have an original sense of myself as a rule but always given them a very wide berth. A BPD reads you, becomes what you need and want but equally sucks you dry, you are a victim, a host, and they the vampire.

To my mind to draw a similarity between PTSD and BPD is an insult to PTSD: a BPD has no trauma other than one imagined. They spot a weakness in a person a mile away and are drawn to it, something to feed off and feel whole again and yes they will fill a gap for a while until the shallowness and insipid nature of their none personality becomes too much to bear. Too much is 'shared' experience, they make things up to empathize and mutate what you say into their own psyche, only to churn it out as a real experience to 'share' as they adore to be two of a kind. In my case it was all too much but I struggled to pull away until I found proof of the lies.

Nothing other than his name was true, he even lied about what he had for lunch not to mention the broken back and job he never had and so very much more.

Yes it set me back. I would never have been draw in if it were not for the neediness that is a symptom of my PTSD - I was severely bullied and emotionally abused so have a tendency to seek validation and empathy - and he gave me that in droves but a BPD has no emotion and no real feelings, they go through the motions only. They seek to be validated themselves by being what you want, they are empty and hollow and I believe quite the worst people for PTSDs to be around, they will indulge and encourage our worst extremes to make it seem normal, in effect, drive us mad.

We PTSDs are swimmers, many were excellent swimmers and remember how, others are keeping up with some time out: a BPD is a no swimmer and is drowning, attach yourself to one and you run the risk of being pulled down with them.

I escaped just in time.

Dania x