Creating New Memories

[recoveringfromptsd]

I had a session with my abuse therapist at the local Rape/Abuse recovery center. While I had already taken steps to deal with it being around xmas and my birthday. She brought it up before I did. We talked about what had happened to me years ago during this time period and that it affects me a lot.

One of the things she suggested I look at doing is CREATING NEW MEMORIES.

Has anyone else here had an experiences with what she suggested from there therapy?

 

[Teamwork]

As a family, single mom with two kids we create new memories all the time. For birthdays our local radio station has a birthday cake give away, chosen by lot of who sent in a happy birthday wish. We always put the persons message in and then as a family got up to listen to the radio at 7:15 am when it would be read and the draw for the cake was done. We always made sure to do the Birthday as a day off for the person, a meal chosen by them and gifts after supper. For Christmas we have carved out many new ways of celebrating that are unique to us. We go to church every Christmas Eve, but before I leave the house I sneak the Santa gifts out of hiding and put them on the kitchen table at their place setting. Traditionally the gift is a new family game and pyjamas. We open these after church. For some reason I never allowed Santa to come, but instead opted for the Santa gift Christmas Eve. Now that the girls are older we have been going to a movie Christmas Day and sometimes find a place to go out and eat together. We have no family here, no one to go visit Christmas Day so this eases the loneliness. We also open one gift at a time and then go spend time with it. So we do a round of gifts then take a break for a few hours and enjoy the gift. I did this from day one because I wanted my kids to know what they got and who they got it from and not do the rip and tear like savages and have no idea who gave them what. Hope that helps

 

[VioletButterfly]

I'm struggling with this as well, and was just thinking about it and how to do it when the negative memories seem so very loud in my mind. I think, in the past, I've tried to create traditions for myself as I am on my own. I think if you can manage that and also stay mindful of what is going on in the present it might help you out a bit. Trying to think of examples.... I used to prepare a meal for me and my little self for each holiday and buy little presents - Christmas, Easter, Halloween, Birthday, etc.... More little kid stuff than big girl, but that did help at the time. Also, anything else you can do routinely where your senses can be stimulated in a good way can help. I used to go to a museum each Sunday for free, go for coffee each week to sit and write in my journal, go for a walk each morning to a particular park (have moved, but thought about driving back there to walk just because). I think maybe, with me, it might take repetition and consistency. I'm not sure what might work for you. Maybe look at your interests and what brings you pleasure - writing, painting, hiking, music..... or things you can do with others that make you happy. VB

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

One of the ways I have identified is a DBT skill called accumulate positives. I am hoping by just acknowledging a positive experience that it may in time help.

 

[VioletButterfly]

I used to do that. I still keep a daily accomplishment log, but I like your idea as well. Also, last evening, I was sitting in my loft where I have a lot of cut-outs of positive encouragement statements, butterflies, encouragement/trauma reference and faith-based books, arts/crafts materials, etc... all around me, along with twinkle lights. It's very warm and inviting, and where I come to just be with myself for a spell. I think this is a good memory for me. An opportunity that I appreciate as I am renting and will not be here always.

Do you keep a gratitude journal? That might be a starting point as well.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

keep a daily accomplishment log

I like your approach, maybe integrating both approaches will work well for me.