Crossing Therapy Boundaries?

[katiekat]

@sun seeker You pretty much just hit the nail on the head with your entire post! I'm grateful for the connections you made in your own situation because I have been wrestling with how this current situation has brought up painful aspects of my childhood and how contradictory authority figures were and believing certain adults and then finding out they were not exactly good role models and feeling lied to.

@change I am trying to practice mindfulness in regards to how I feel about this and am trying to be compassionate and forgiving of my lack of knowledge on acceptable boundaries between client and therapist. Thanks for the reminder :)

 

[Suzetig]

I think self compassion and forgiveness are good qualities to foster, it may also be worth remembering that sometimes the only way you know where a boundary lies is when you come up against it. Your new therapist has different boundaries to your old one, you had no way of knowing that - I'm guessing telepathy isn't a skill you've developed so far... I'm guessing she didn't want to reject your gift to her at the time, but wants now to outline her boundaries and also give you a chance to talk about your old therapist's boundaries, just in case they were lax or inappropriate.

You're doing so well teasing all of this out here, go easy on yourself.

 

[Seasounds]

@katiekat, terrific discovery! I use to live in such fear for the same reasons.

And, due to your last post, I realized another point of all of these therapy boundaries, which you, through your breakthrough, demonstrated. One idea in the 'neutral' non-gift giving situation is that if a painful situation arises, that it can lead to an awareness, and transformation of, old patterns.

Eureka! Congratulations! :)

 

[sun seeker]

I have been wrestling with how this current situation has brought up painful aspects of my childhood and how contradictory authority figures were and believing certain adults and then finding out they were not exactly good role models and feeling lied to.

@katiekat, it's great that you are making these connections. My sense is if you can manage to talk honestly to your therapist about this - and that might include telling her how hard it is to talk about it at all - it will be a big step forward for you, not just in your relationship with your therapist. The one thing that concerns me a little is if you are like most of us, you have one more session in December and then a break for the holidays. Do you feel safe bringing this up knowing that you will have two to three weeks without being able to work through whatever that brings up?

 

[katiekat]

@sun seeker I have sessions through the end of the year :)

 

[littlelotte]

@littlelotte I have trust issues, and I am worried this may have set me back significantly-even though she is most likely trying to protect me and be as ethical as possible. The therapeutic relationship is weird enough, and I feel like she just made it more awkward.

Please talk to her about it. I have had issues like that with people, including my mom, and found talking about it really can help. It will giver her a chance to clarify and possibly back track if something she is doing is harming you. My first T gave me the ability to call her anytime without being charged. My current one gives me special treatment too. I can email her and she will call me after hours, but she has to charge for the call. She never does calls, but she has for me. It happens if they know you need it.