About six weeks ago I cut my ties to my brother. He wrongly accused me of stealing a couple of things from his home,. I did my best to clarify not only that I hadn't stolen from him but the reasons that I wouldn't have done so, One of the items was later accounted-for; it turned-out that he'd given it to someone else and had forgotten. But apparently he still thinks I stole the other item. It wasn't anything valuable, or that I'd have wanted, or that I'd even known he had. But he said some very rude things to me, in addition to making the accusations, and I told him, finally, that I didn't want to hear from him until and unless he gave me a sincere apology.
The whole thing was incredibly triggering; his accusations were much like those that my mother used to make (she & my father are both deceased). She had, apparently, schizoaffective disorder, having had paranoid delusions and a few hallucinations along with severe anxiety and depression. She was afraid of doctors and my father didn't push her to get treatment, so she was never properly diagnosed and went untreated. I was by far the youngest of the children in my family, and the only one living at home through almost my entire childhood, and so I was the one who heard most of the crazy things she had to say. It was a 'family secret' situation, and I didn't get any treatment at all until I was about 30 years old. The idea of my needing specific treatment for my PTSD has just recently become something I'm aware of.
My brother and I haven't been terribly close, over the years, but the last year or so I thought we were finally reaching the point where we were actually friends. Then he 'dropped this bomb' on me and it really threw me. From something he said in an email, I think that he may have suspected me, for several years, of stealing one of the items.
The situation is complicated by the fact that he's in his mid-70s. He does have some history of sort of magical thinking, but that was more garden-variety stuff. I've alerted another relative to the situation, as I'm concerned that this may not be an isolated incident, but might, rather, be an early sign of a medical condition.
I knew that this wasn't going to be easy to deal with emotionally, but I'm still feeling very torn-up about it. I guess that's to be expected, but it doesn't make it any easier. Thanks for listening.
The whole thing was incredibly triggering; his accusations were much like those that my mother used to make (she & my father are both deceased). She had, apparently, schizoaffective disorder, having had paranoid delusions and a few hallucinations along with severe anxiety and depression. She was afraid of doctors and my father didn't push her to get treatment, so she was never properly diagnosed and went untreated. I was by far the youngest of the children in my family, and the only one living at home through almost my entire childhood, and so I was the one who heard most of the crazy things she had to say. It was a 'family secret' situation, and I didn't get any treatment at all until I was about 30 years old. The idea of my needing specific treatment for my PTSD has just recently become something I'm aware of.
My brother and I haven't been terribly close, over the years, but the last year or so I thought we were finally reaching the point where we were actually friends. Then he 'dropped this bomb' on me and it really threw me. From something he said in an email, I think that he may have suspected me, for several years, of stealing one of the items.
The situation is complicated by the fact that he's in his mid-70s. He does have some history of sort of magical thinking, but that was more garden-variety stuff. I've alerted another relative to the situation, as I'm concerned that this may not be an isolated incident, but might, rather, be an early sign of a medical condition.
I knew that this wasn't going to be easy to deal with emotionally, but I'm still feeling very torn-up about it. I guess that's to be expected, but it doesn't make it any easier. Thanks for listening.
