You got me thinking which is always dangerous. If you run towards the problem and get rejected over and over again, an finally give up does that mean you are still a victim? In my case I am working hard on saving my marriage and trying to heal family relationships but at the same time I am working on Plan B, to move to New Zealand and create a new life for myself in a very intentional manner and go no contact with my family. To me, Plan B isn’t being a victim, it is the opposite. It is facing the reality of the situation and moving on in a healthy intentional way that has the hope of salvaging the remaining time I have on Earth, being an emotionally healthy oof a person as I can be. And maybe, find some happiness in life.