Relationship Dating Someone With Ptsd

[zjamesh92]

So I have been dating someone with ptsd and I love him to death. I wouldn't change him for the world. The catch.... I've had a stalker for almost 3 years and he has been threatening both of us. Police are involved but can't figure out who it is. The situation is triggering my partners ptsd because he says he has no sense of safety or security no matter how much I try to make him feel safe. He also says that he feels like his freedom has been taken away from him because he not only has a boyfriend but because he doesn't feel safe. He said that if it goes on much longer then it will become a deal breaker and it would devastate me to lose him. We live together and work together so we don't have much time apart and to me it's amazing but to him he feels trapped. I don't know what to do but I know I don't want to lose him and I don't know how to help him and make him feel like he's not trapped in and that he's safe with me. This man has my heart and I just want to understand him and I've picked up on some triggers and have been to the point where I was the only one that could calm him down but there are times that he turns on me and things he says are hurtful. I just need help to make this relationship work because we are really perfect for each other. I do not judge him or throw his ptsd in his face like his ex did. All I try to do is support him. Someone please help me salvage my relationship with him. Please!

 

[joeylittle]

The catch.... I've had a stalker for almost 3 years and he has been threatening both of us. Police are involved but can't figure out who it is. The situation is triggering my partners ptsd because he says he has no sense of safety or security no matter how much I try to make him feel safe.

Well, yes, because neither you nor he are safe, if you are being threatened by an unidentifiable stalker.

How frequent are the threats, and how escalated are they?

 

[dulcia]

Yeah, the stalker seems like the big issue. I don't have PTSD, but would still probably think about bolting if I was in his situation.

 

[zjamesh92]

Yeah, the stalker seems like the big issue. I don't have PTSD, but would still probably think about...

Of course. I completely understand that... I've been trying to figure the situation out for awhile and just never seem to get anywhere

 

[dulcia]

I just personally feel like you won't be able to address any potential other PTSD-related things until the stalker situation is sorted out.

 

[zjamesh92]

Yeah I think you are right... I don't know how to figure out who it is unless he walks in front of the camera which he hasn't done. Even the police haven't been able to trace any of the communications this person has made.

 

[dulcia]

I don't know anything about stalkers aside from what I've seen on Criminal Minds and Law and Order :whistling: With that being said, have you tried to seek out support groups or even forums for stalking victims? People who have been in similar situations might have good advice or tips on how to help.

 

[zjamesh92]

I don't know anything about stalkers aside from what I've seen on Criminal Minds and Law and Order :...

We caught him on camera last night and I recognized him immediately. Sent the video to all of my detectives since I have cases in 4 different counties and I'm just waiting to hear back from one of them! I'm relieved and hurt because it was someone that was supposed to have been my best friend for the last three years. He watched me attempt sucicide because of the situation and he continued to do everything even with watching me suffer. My mind and emotions are all jumbled

 

[dulcia]

Congrats on a break in the case, though!

 

[zjamesh92]

Congrats on a break in the case, though!

Thank you!!