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Day 1 Of Many Dreadful Ones To Come

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Punky143

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Today is the day. The arraignment of the disgusting pitiful excuse of the human being he considers himself. He'll stand there, and listen to the 20+ felony charges of sexual assult amongst so many I can't type against 8 minors, one being, my baby girl. Granted she is 10 but she is my baby. I chose not to go. I am in no place to hear those said out loud and then for him to plead anything other than guilty. I know little about the legal system but I do know he doesn't think he did anything wrong. I have been told he is trying to post bail. I will leave my thoughts out about that. Rage. I will be notified tomorrow what happened. I feel so alone. I don't know what it is that will comfort me anymore in a world that has become so messed up and distorted. I'd hoped my mother would've communicated with me this morning, even a simple hello, but nothing. I think this is bringing up her own trauma hx but its doing the same with me and I have no choice but be in this shit show. Makes me even more sad.
 
@Punky143, there's nothing I can say to make this any easier or more bearable. Just know that you are not entirely alone, and those of us who find solace in this online community are here for you. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is just hold still, let the feelings pierce you with their sharp claws and terrible teeth, and breathe. Keep breathing, Punky, and hang in there.
 
I'm so sorry this evil excuse for a human being hurt your daughter. I hope he gets the maximum of whatever they throw at him.
 
Well what a fool I am. All the obsessive thoughts, the "what it's" disassociation, anger and everything in between. For nothing. The arraignment was cancelled due to the court schedule. I'm told this is common. So, the mind games will continue as they always have. What did I do last night? What else. Clean. No one else in my family of 3 does including my husbandnor did he mention the days event or ask so I didn't mention it. So, what did I learn? I'm keeping my mouth shut next time in case the same thing happens next time. This douchbag has already thrown my life upside down so no need to involve others in my opinion. Just another way of burning those who remain in my life which aren't many these days. Oh well
 
What an awful time this must be for you. Your daughter lucky to have such a fighter for a mum. My experience if the legal system (in the uk though) is that it appears to cause more stress for the victims than the perpetrators.

Stay hopeful and strong.
 
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