Dealing With Feeling Like I'm Being Targeted....

[Tribulations]

Thanks Saffy, that means a lot. It is really hard for me to accept compliments, I'm working on that too. I used to use anger and aggression to feed my confidence, yeah I was confident but also a total a-hole. I've gotten "soft" over the years for lack of better words, which has made me realize how bad my esteem and confidence are now. This is the first time I have approached healing in a non aggressive way, if that makes any sense.

Thanks for the suggestions I will try them. I can use my post its for something proper now instead of making flipbook animations lol. A little laugh but I am trying to find all positives right now, trying to flip it around as I say. Thank you so much for your kinds words, I know I have a lot of good things inside of me. It's just chipping away at that concrete shell to get to it sometimes, golden heart encased in a block of concrete as I've always said.

Thank you, I don't think I could say it enough.

 

[saffy]

((Hugs)) if that is ok.

To add I also looked up a lot about the meaning of assertiveness. I am more a passive aggressive if I was to describe myself honestly.

This helped me so I thought it might help you too. :)

[DLMURL]http://www.skillsyouneed.co.uk/IPS/Assertiveness.html[/DLMURL]

Through this I have learned not only how to communicate better but that I had been neglecting my own needs for years because I did not think I was worth it or able to look after my own needs without confrontation or backlash.

You are a diamond in the rough, just like me ;) I also have a big wall but taking it down brick by brick is liberating. :)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[saffy]

Hi Trib

((HUgs)) if you allow it.

It makes perfect sense I have certainly mellowed since I was younger in a lot of ways.

Another thing I learnt was the meaning of assertiveness. I can now be a passive aggressive if I am honest.

I learnt about communication, but more importantly that I have every right to look after my own needs because it is expected and I am worth it and I am allowed to. :)

Here is a site which has helped me and might help you too.

[DLMURL]http://www.skillsyouneed.co.uk/IPS/Assertiveness.html[/DLMURL]


Flipbook animations lol. I bet they are funny. :)

I understand about the shell wall. I am gradually taking my down brick by brick.

I think you must be a diamond in the rough like me ;)

best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[Tribulations]

Thank you for the hugs, and hugs back. I think I went from super aggressive to super passive, the middle ground is what I'm trying to achieve now. Thank you for the link I will be sure to read it. Diamond in the rough, yeah that's what I am.

My flipbook animations are morbidly funny, or have a hint of cynicism to them. When I get internet to my computer back I'll share some I made into animated gifs.

For now though I think I am going to log off, pad up my office closet, and play Blackbird finger style on my guitar. It is one of my favorite songs, and playing it always brings me back. Watching the wheels go round, while my guitar gently weeps, blackbird, elenor rigby, imagine, and let it be always bring me back to good. All Beatles but it works, not sure why but it does. Thank you again for the millionth time (sorry lol).

Best of wishes back to you too.