Since I was 7, I have experienced sexual abuse and sexual assault and it has not stopped. I became self aware of the aftermath of it when I would hide my body and became afraid of speaking on sexual things. Still today, I have not gotten rid of the thought that I am dirty and used and alone. I have never told anyone because there is a part of me that believes it’ll do me more harm than good. I am tainted with the hands of those who did what they did. And the concept of love scares me. Of having kids. Of kissing someone. All of it scares me and I don’t know when it’ll stop.