Rose White
MyPTSD Pro
That is good to know. I'm starting to realize that if I feel angry about something that i want to avoid it or criticize it. However if I am scared of something I can try bravely facing it. So, perhaps anger is my go-to emotion to block the fear. When you said, "It is risky to have an attachment but it is necessary to do the work," it really resonated with me. I see my resistance to the attachment which is already occurring. My dad sexualized me from infancy to around age 3 and then physically punished me with breaks for sexualizing when he would take me on ski trips for the rest of my childhood. I think he also has NPD because he has never once apologized in his life and has tantrums over change and not getting his way. He might be high functioning autism too, not sure. Anyway, I sexualize any trusting relationship which makes me feel disgusting and ashamed. That is a huge part of my barrier to attachment too, so maybe I should talk about it. I think the answer is to just ignore it but I don't know because I haven't yet talked about it.