• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Deciding when to call therapist between sessions

Status
Not open for further replies.
That is good to know. I'm starting to realize that if I feel angry about something that i want to avoid it or criticize it. However if I am scared of something I can try bravely facing it. So, perhaps anger is my go-to emotion to block the fear. When you said, "It is risky to have an attachment but it is necessary to do the work," it really resonated with me. I see my resistance to the attachment which is already occurring. My dad sexualized me from infancy to around age 3 and then physically punished me with breaks for sexualizing when he would take me on ski trips for the rest of my childhood. I think he also has NPD because he has never once apologized in his life and has tantrums over change and not getting his way. He might be high functioning autism too, not sure. Anyway, I sexualize any trusting relationship which makes me feel disgusting and ashamed. That is a huge part of my barrier to attachment too, so maybe I should talk about it. I think the answer is to just ignore it but I don't know because I haven't yet talked about it.
 
I think if you brought this "sexualizing caring relationships" up with your t it could be really good work. You might sexualize your relationship with your t as a transference as that might lead to healing. Your dad did that to you and the harm is there and it will come out as you are healing. Shame is hard. Maybe in your anger is shame. The antidote to shame is vulnerability. So if you feel shame when seeking love and care and this is convoluted and sexualized, share that and be vulnerable. The act of vulnerability will lower the shame.
Good for you for already talking about this and looking at it, you are making progress!
 
I forgot about this thread. Geez, I am so ridiculous. I have almost made it through a week and a half of no contact with my T. It has been awful. But I’m glad I did it. I have to break this dependency. I really just want to quit altogether. Not sure what the point is anymore. I realized that I do most of the emotional labor in my real life friendships...I tried to reach out more and be vulnerable. And no one was able to be there for me. It is what it is.

My latest hurt is that my therapist let me down again and I don’t want to have to deal with it. We talked about my trying to make it between appointments without contacting her. I agreed to only contact her after first trying all of my coping strategies. I decided for myself that I wasn’t going to contact her no matter what. But I did ask her to please text me the day before our appointment to confirm. I told her I needed that touchpoint from her. She said she understood and would do it. She didn’t do it. I’m sure she just forgot. Just like everyone else.
 
Try not to personalize this and then turn it into a generalization about everyone forgetting you. Your T is human.
Can you try writing this down in a journal and then reading it to your T? It could create good therapy.
 
Thank you. That’s part of the reason I wrote it down here. I don’t think it’s worth bringing up with her. I think it’s wiser for me to say what you said—she is human—and just let it go and lower my expectations. Heaven knows I forget things too.
 
I’m going through trust issues with my therapist. She says to trust her but then she’s not there.
My dog, who I was very close to, suddenly got bone cancer and her pain was so bad I had to euthanize her. I texted my therapist. No I’m so sorry or that is so sad. She said it sounded like I was doing the right things. I felt I couldn’t sound super needy. She told me maybe I need to be quiet. That got to me. Instead of her talking with me during this numbing, awful time, tears others, miserable, angry, lost, she says for me that I need quiet perhaps. I ended up reaching out to my psychiatric nurse who prescribed pills, to people on Facebook, my friend in another state, and a psychic. Oh, and my acupuncturist. Isn’t this when my therapist would spend more time with me between appts? We are supposed to have a phone appt while I’m out of town. But now I’m thinking of canceling it. What is she barely talks? I feel angry already, and now at her as well. Did she want me to call others not trained with grief and intense sadness? I’ve had to do that so many times before. I thought she cared about me, but she wasn’t. Not sure what to do. She’s seemed more distant the past few weeks.
 
I’m sorry for your loss. You sound so disappointed in her response to you. In your text did you ask her to contact you or to arrange an additional session or did you let her know about your dog and hope that she would offer you some support? How would she know what you needed? It sounds like she was supporting you to use the people and resources in your life, which is part of her job, ie for her to be your support when you can’t have your needs met any other way.

If you still feel like you need her support could you contact her and ask for an additional session or phone contact? What’s making you think about not using your next session with her - that feels a bit counterintuitive given your recent loss.
 
I normally see if I can make it through the first half of the day, which is about 1:00 pm for me. If I make it that far, then I see if I can make it until 4:30 pm. If I make it that far, then I know I have to last the night because it would be too late to schedule an appointment. If I have difficulties in the night, I call one of the hotlines and talk to someone there, or I watch a show, or do something to help calm and relax myself so that I can make it until in the morning. I just keep repeating that same thing over and over, until it becomes too close to my actual appointment date to cancel. I tell myself that if there are only three days left before my next appointment, then it makes no use to call and reschedule. If I feel I really can't make it then I do call, but most times I end up following this. I find it easier when I break the day into smaller pieces, and try to make it through the small pieces instead of the long day. It's like when you have a boring class or you're at work, and you don't look at it as 5 hours left, but as 5 1hour left, so it seems more tolerable. Hope this helps.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top