Well, I think the confusion is what we were replying to. I'm guessing its about your daily depression and suicidal ideation.
I too think about ending it all on a daily basis. It gets hard to fight on days where I'm especially sensitive to my triggers. I have 2 children and 1 of them is getting ready to go on his second tour oversees. He keeps me here as I know he is out there fighting for not only his life, but the lives of everyone in the country. His selflessness makes it hard for me, as his mother, to engage in selfish behaviour.
My daughter keeps me grounded at times, but she is 7 so she can also be my trigger. On the days where none of this matters, I email my therapist and he reminds me how far I have come and gives me the positive praise I apparently need.
Write a list of some of the good things, if you can think of any and pull it out whenever you are at a point where you feel is the only option.
There is a lot of people here that are going through the same thing as you, read some of them and maybe get some ideas on ways to cope.
Oh and by the way, I wouldn't compare your trauma with anyone elses trauma. Everyone is different in how they process their trauma and it can be self destructive if you feel like someone elses trauma was worse than yours. Your trauma is very real to you and that is what matters.
I hope that you can understand that. You are with good people here who don't judge you by the amount or extent of trauma you have endured.