Depression & Social Connection

triptych

Learning
I have massive problems with depression related to being able to connect with other people in my life.

I’m very lucky to have some very good and caring people in my life who listen and who I feel comfortable sharing with, yet, when I am depressed I often walk away from conversations feeling empty and lonely. I feel deeply disconnected from my loved ones and therefore the world, hence the “you are no one’s priority”, “you might never feel close to anyone again” or “you are not capable of intimacy like other people” thoughts. (I know these are very black and white statements but even with more nuance they’re still pretty sad.)

I have become a lot better at opening up with people but I still constantly feel the need to be hyper vigilant in relationships. When I feel disconnected from people I find it hard to know their intentions and often assume the worst of them.

Does anyone else have any experience with attempting to feel some human connection in the depth of depression? I would really appreciate any tips about how to feel less disconnected from the people in my life, or how you interpreted your cycle of reasoning/emotions if you have ever felt any of this.
 

triptych

Learning
It is like therapy, rupture and repair but the repair cannot or most likely does not work during the rupture as good as right afterwords when things are cooler!
For me in my darkness, I have two feelings that I need to manage: I do not care. I am not curious to know. but when I am in the mood to care and curious to know...I then show what I need to my husband or friends or people I feel closer to.
I think this is really good advice! I often feel like I have two separate ways of behaving or sets of needs depending on whether I am depressed or not. I guess that’s difficult to explain to other people. But also like you said other people view you as a cohesive whole so they aren’t going to ditch out immediately despite how sudden your shifts may feel to you.
 

triptych

Learning
Wonderful and thoughtful thread as well as advice from members. Actually I am connecting to your thread to parlay my mild depression from medical relapse that leaves me somewhat fatigued. Service dog at my side and coffee in hand - here is my 2 cents lol.

We are all slightly unique requiring our own rhythms of energy, feelings, thoughts or parts of our journey to mirror somewhat back to us (at times) to feel connected. It is natural to want to be a part of something rather than shout across an emptiness for eternity.

However, depression (for me) can be liken to a wet blanket : it muffles the receiving. Then my PTSD symptoms may kick in a little and I become less trustful. So I am currently working with my Therapist to err on the side of caution not that of paranoia or distrust. Incremental steps within connections build a foundation of shared experiences. As well, certain people, members, ect strike that chord within my heart allowing me to resonate or perhaps just share that energy with them…if only for that post. Often it means an increased opening in my chink of armor within my depression.

Just gently pry your wall until the great divide, slowly closes between the heart chakras of those you seek as acquaintances or friends. One step at a time. Take care.
I really resonate with this, especially the wet blanket thing is very accurate. I think the value of shared experiences is a good point— the people I find myself trusting the most when I am depressed are those who can talk about the past/similar experiences (good & bad) in a way that is both emotionally honest and balanced.

I hope your medical stuff is not taking too much of a toll & you’re able to do some gentle wall prying 😊
 
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