Human Connection

[SjMel]

What I need is human connection.

I am currently feeling like a ping pong ball being bounced around from place to place to place with no real help.
I need to sit with a group of people face to face. I mean, I appreciate the space here but looking at a computer screen does not extend the human connection that I need. There is something about meeting with a few people face to face. You don't get that same connection online.

I am told go here and then go there but in the end I find nothing.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Finding your people is hard, especially if you are starting from scratch. What sort of stuff have you attempted so far?

 

[SjMel]

Finding your people is hard, especially if you are starting from scratch. What sort of stuff have you attempted so far?

I don't know where people are located but I live in Canada.

We have 811 resource for mental health
We have 211 resource for all kinds of resources including mental health.
811 referred me to 211 and 211 referred me to a Crisis Line. Crisis line redirected me back to 211. I called 211 and my call went unanswered so I called the Crisis Line back. After almost an hour of searching the navigator directed me to the Canadian Mental Health Association. I am expecting that they too will turn me away. Somewhere between bouncing back and forth I was directed to this organization but they declined to help. The same problem over and over and over again is that I don't meet the criteria for them to help.

I have spent this past year looking. In the process of looking for In-Person support group the Crisis Line navigator directed me to organizations that help people with addictions (I don't have any addictions) and then there was this one person who offers In Person Support Groups but he doesn't facilitate. All other In Person support groups out there are for Mood Disorders and I don't think that PTSD is a Mood Disorder? This organization has a Support Group for PTSD but they are not accepting any new members. All other Support Groups out there for PTSD is for First Responders. While I am not a First Responder I have was the one always present at those emergencies dealing with the chaotic scenes before First Responders arrived on scene, this includes active shooter events, bomb threats, being threatened by people weilding knives, saving a young girl from getting kidnapped, getting physical with members of the public as part of my job, the night clubs and events. I should be considered a First Responder with the horrors I have been subjected to over the years. I came to realize that I feel like I have lived in the middle of a war zone the last 20 years and because I don't meet the criteria of any help out there that exists I get turned away. Literally. I went to this walk in health centre this morning and because my PTSD is related to a work place accident they refuse to provide me with any help or resources.

Nothing is turning up in my searches online for any support groups.

I have reached out to the Canadian Mental Health Association and requested to connect with their Peer Assisted Care Team. I don't know what good that will be because every other place has declined to help despite the fact that currently I am at risk of becoming homeless. I am telling everyone who will listen that I will end my life before I become homeless. What keeps me from not ending my life? I want to live but being on the streets is not living. Being on the streets is basically a slow death... at that point it will be more like put me out of my misery.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

When I was single 30 years ago and I will be doing shortly as I appear to be newly single is drop in hiking groups. I actually ended up in a 3 year relationship with a woman I met on such a hike. She was an English professor and I am crazy about smart women. The woman I married is a university president. But I am wandering, hiking groups are great because you are walking with a group and conversations just happen. Some outdoor store promote hikes, also you can go to the dreaded FB and search for a local hiking group. Good luck, isolation is hard, I know.

 

[Midnightmoon]

I know nothing about the Canadian system but it sounds so incredibly frustrating, I'm sorry that you are battling with that on top of everything else.

Here (UK) alot of stuff for isolation, building contacts is done through the voluntary sector and really depends on where you live as to what services you can access. This stuff is usually focused around an activity (art/ sport/ cooking/ animals etc) so you have a shared interest before you begin which can help at least break the ice a bit between people. Maybe theres an activity that you might feel safe to try and dip your toe in a bit and see if there are people around you click with?

The first responder services I'm guessing it's all about funding allocation as to why you can't officially access it but again really doesn't help you if your experiences are similar. Is there any broader support, say like anxiety, which ok doesn't fully encompass all the PTSD stuff but is at least in the right 'family' of diagnosis and might be a stop gap in the meantime if you are on the wait list for the PTSD group?

 

[SjMel]

When I was single 30 years ago and I will be doing shortly as I appear to be newly single is drop in hiking groups. I actually ended up in a 3 year relationship with a woman I met on such a hike. She was an English professor and I am crazy about smart women. The woman I married is a university president. But I am wandering, hiking groups are great because you are walking with a group and conversations just happen. Some outdoor store promote hikes, also you can go to the dreaded FB and search for a local hiking group. Good luck, isolation is hard, I know.

I understand you are trying to help me see what is all out there.

I have recently been diagnosed with a heart condition called LongQT Syndrome. PTSD negatively impacts this heart condition because of the stress. Basically stress and physical activity presents a risk of me developing a life threatening heart arrhythmia. It didn't help that my accident left me bed ridden for the better part of this last year. I only found out about my heart condition this past November after my older sister died of this heart condition. Me, my twin brother, and now confirmed that my other sister also has LongQT... And it's probably what caused my mother's death and a contributing factor in my Grandfather's drowning death. I haven't started treatment for my heart condition just yet. I am currently taking medication that also presents a bit of a risk of developing a life threatening heart arrhythmia. I might be getting what's called an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator device which is like a combination of a pacemaker and defibrillator surgically connected to my heart. And as soon as my genetic testing results come back and after my Cardiac CT scan (just the one remaining test to make sure there is nothing else wrong with my heart which is necessary considering the fact that I have chronic chest pains that half the time feels like I am having a heart attack. I can't stop the medication I am currently taking so instead I might be prescribed Beta Blockers which would allow me to continue taking my current medication. Anyways, I can't do much of anything when it comes to physical activity. I can walk a block or two but I quickly become fatigued or can't breathe as well as my blood oxygen levels decrease from time to time.

I need a mobility scooter but I don't have the money for that and don't qualify for aide to get one. So I utilize a cane to help reduce my fatigue. Basically walking groups are not a good fit for me. And I don't know if I am ever gonna have the ability to walk more then just a couple blocks.

 

[SjMel]

I know nothing about the Canadian system but it sounds so incredibly frustrating, I'm sorry that you are battling with that on top of everything else.

Here (UK) alot of stuff for isolation, building contacts is done through the voluntary sector and really depends on where you live as to what services you can access. This stuff is usually focused around an activity (art/ sport/ cooking/ animals etc) so you have a shared interest before you begin which can help at least break the ice a bit between people. Maybe theres an activity that you might feel safe to try and dip your toe in a bit and see if there are people around you click with?

The first responder services I'm guessing it's all about funding allocation as to why you can't officially access it but again really doesn't help you if your experiences are similar. Is there any broader support, say like anxiety, which ok doesn't fully encompass all the PTSD stuff but is at least in the right 'family' of diagnosis and might be a stop gap in the meantime if you are on the wait list for the PTSD group?

Everything right now seems to be online but I need human connection not a computer screen though right now a computer screen is better then not having a computer screen. It's just with support groups that meet in person at the very least I am part of a conversation and doing a simple greeting and maybe participating in a conversation. The Canadian system is not to dissimilar to the UK system. Lots of similarities. And I am looking. Maybe I can access this Peer Assistant Care Team and maybe they can help me in my search. Hopefully I won't be told I don't meet their criteria. Unfortunately it would seem that every support that's out there is a support where I don't meet their criteria for help. I am about to contact a connection I have within my local media just to make my situation known. Not to complain about anything but our flawed system. My PTSD is the result from a work place accident and Work Safe is not currently accepting my mental health claim and while Work Safe refuses to help, any organization that can help won't help because they say it's a Work Safe issue. And all I want is to have a little emotional support and encouragement and to not feel so alone. When I really needed my family the most they weren't there for me. I need human connection which I don't really have.

 

[Midnightmoon]

need a mobility scooter but I don't have the money for that and don't qualify for aide to get one. So I utilize a cane to help reduce my fatigue. Basically walking groups are not a good fit for me. And I don't know if I am ever gonna have the ability to walk more then just a couple blocks.

I'm a wheelie with no ability to walk, so I really empathise here In my rather limited experience sometimes accessing groups and support based on your physical health need is another route into care and services which might be worth a shot too. Mobility scooters... I wonder if you could hire one from a hub like they do here to be able to access the local area a few hours? Here they are pretty available in local places of interest or shopping centres etc for a very low cost. Sometimes just being around other people going about their day to day stuff (even if it's just a coffee in a different place and a wheel around a different park/ library inset other free activity here!) helps ease those feelings a little.

Really hope the peer assist team has some answers

 

[SjMel]

I'm a wheelie with no ability to walk, so I really empathise here In my rather limited experience sometimes accessing groups and support based on your physical health need is another route into care and services which might be worth a shot too. Mobility scooters... I wonder if you could hire one from a hub like they do here to be able to access the local area a few hours? Here they are pretty available in local places of interest or shopping centres etc for a very low cost. Sometimes just being around other people going about their day to day stuff (even if it's just a coffee in a different place and a wheel around a different park/ library inset other free activity here!) helps ease those feelings a little.

Really hope the peer assist team has some answers

If I had a mobility scooter I would leave my place more often but there are times, when I have the money there are a couple coffee shops I will go. Basically I go just to say hi to the Baristas. But I had a mental breakdown at one location and so I'm a bit embarrassed to return. The other place is a fair distance away.

Ya, I too hope the peer assist care team works out.

 

[mamachick]

Before I read what you wrote, I was going to ask about any addictions, even cigarettes, as that is an addiction. There are groups in US such as Adult Children of Alcoholics, and not everyone in the group has or had an alcoholic parent, but they did have a parent with those characteristics. Some had a parent that was a narcissist. Also, co-dependency groups might be of value. Either of these groups you could attend to explore if you relate and if you dont, no harm done. I know that you said that a work accident caused your ptsd. I am not disputing that, yet most people that develop ptsd in adulthood from a recent trauma, are later told by professionals that they were pre-disposed to it due to trauma at an earlier age. Again, I say most.....not all.(at least in my experience). Just as most adults who become abused in a relationship have a background that supports/predisposed them to abuse. There are so many groups in the US, I am just brain storming here. There are also meditation groups. I hope you get the face to face that you need, and if any of what I said is helpful, great, if not, just disregard.

 

[SjMel]

Before I read what you wrote, I was going to ask about any addictions, even cigarettes, as that is an addiction. There are groups in US such as Adult Children of Alcoholics, and not everyone in the group has or had an alcoholic parent, but they did have a parent with those characteristics. Some had a parent that was a narcissist. Also, co-dependency groups might be of value. Either of these groups you could attend to explore if you relate and if you dont, no harm done. I know that you said that a work accident caused your ptsd. I am not disputing that, yet most people that develop ptsd in adulthood from a recent trauma, are later told by professionals that they were pre-disposed to it due to trauma at an earlier age. Again, I say most.....not all.(at least in my experience). Just as most adults who become abused in a relationship have a background that supports/predisposed them to abuse. There are so many groups in the US, I am just brain storming here. There are also meditation groups. I hope you get the face to face that you need, and if any of what I said is helpful, great, if not, just disregard.

This is helpful thank you

I have been through much trauma actually and have been predisposed towards PTSD. There is also family history of PTSD.

I did smoke actually. I quit 2 years ago and no longer have any desire to start up again. I used to drink socially but medication I take negatively impacts the experience. I don't feel good even with one drink. Throughout my teens and as a young adult I mostly took an abstinence approach to drugs and alcohol so I never experimented with drugs and very ignorant about alcohol. I don't like the taste of most alcohol drinks. None of this qualifies for support with addictions. And where I live most Government program assist people suffering with addictions by providing them with drugs. In my city even personal possession of and use of drugs have been decriminalized. It's an honest Zoo out here. The system doesn't support anything within prevention. No support to prevent homelessness and no support to prevent people from getting involved in at risk behaviours. So I tell anyone who will listen that if I end up homeless I am as good as dead so I will help that along.

 

[SjMel]

Before I read what you wrote, I was going to ask about any addictions, even cigarettes, as that is an addiction. There are groups in US such as Adult Children of Alcoholics, and not everyone in the group has or had an alcoholic parent, but they did have a parent with those characteristics. Some had a parent that was a narcissist. Also, co-dependency groups might be of value. Either of these groups you could attend to explore if you relate and if you dont, no harm done. I know that you said that a work accident caused your ptsd. I am not disputing that, yet most people that develop ptsd in adulthood from a recent trauma, are later told by professionals that they were pre-disposed to it due to trauma at an earlier age. Again, I say most.....not all.(at least in my experience). Just as most adults who become abused in a relationship have a background that supports/predisposed them to abuse. There are so many groups in the US, I am just brain storming here. There are also meditation groups. I hope you get the face to face that you need, and if any of what I said is helpful, great, if not, just disregard.

I found a couple Al-Anon groups close to my place that meet in person.

This might be a good start.