Childhood Developmental Trauma Vs. Later Trauma

[shimmerz]

Here's to your father :inlove:
and
Here's to my grandfather :inlove:

They changed our lives for the better. Every.single.day.

 

[sun seeker]

With any luck he and my grandad are basking in the glory of giving us a gift that is so precious.

This is so beautiful. I can imagine them smiling fondly from whatever plane they are now on.

no matter what I went through, which was tough, I could always fall back on those loving emotions...they were an escape.

So knowing how that felt, are you able to draw on that feeling now to give you a sense of the feeling you are aiming for as you heal?

There was, as Link Removed states, a modelling for us.

I am thinking about where I got this, and the answer explains a lot. It isn't that there was no love in my childhood. There was. It's that what there was, was incredibly precarious and dealt out sporadically. I am the youngest of four by quite a bit; my brother and sisters were gone most of the time by the time I was six or seven. They were - when they felt like it - like doting aunts and uncle. Then, when they didn't feel like it, they turned into icebergs and I just got in the way, and knew it. Then there were my parents. They acted like they loved me when they felt like it and when I wasn't being any trouble. In general, let me need too much or in any way not be "easy" and all love was gone. It wasn't taken away by death but by other people's whim.

It makes sense, then, that trust is such a big issue and that I am terrified of doing anything wrong. In my experience that spells disaster.

 

[Tinyflame]

That is the most beautiful thing I've read, @illusionist & @shimmerz . :inlove:

Hugs to you, @Lizio , @Anarchy , @sun seeker , @Hope4Now & all. :hug: :hug: :hug: (PS, Dear @Lizio I feel the same. :hug: )

 

[sun seeker]

It was my grandfather. He emitted love, taught me how to love, taught me what love was.

I just reread your description of your grandfather from a few months ago, and it's uncanny how much of that description I see in you now.

 

[illusionist]

I've already got those emotions in my partner sunseeker except I numb them at times. This thread has thrown up much needed emotions that I've known I would have to face sometime.....here I go on another journey! This stuff seems never-ending!..

 

[shimmerz]

(((((illusionist)))))

So much love to you.

 

[Tinyflame]

never-ending!..

And overwhelming. :(

 

[illusionist]

......and to you Shimmerz. Thank you for the hug...it is truly appreciated.