Differences Between Combat And Abuse Related Ptsd

[HoosierGal]

I need to preface this by saying that I have so much love and respect for veterans of war, not just those who suffer PTSD, but each man and women who has mad a sacrifice to serve the people of their country.

I'm noting a difference in how the public, mainly non-PTSD sufferers perceives PTSD from combat/military service versus PTSD from childhood abuse or sexual assault/rape (of course, there are other ways to become inflicted with PTSD and I understand this).

Once my college had an anonymous bullies board where students could wrote secrets, confessions. Some were funny, some were serious. I saw that someone had written "I have PTSD." Below this someone else had written "If you are a veteran, I'm sorry and thank you for your service."

Now, I don't believe for a minute that the person who wrote that response meant ANY harm at all in their wording. When I saw it I wasnt offended and I hope the person who wrote the original confession, whether or not they were a vet, interpreted it as a supportive message and was also not offended.

I also have two classmates who suffer from PTSD. One is a male, one female, and both are 20-30-something veterans with combat related PTSD. Both are very brave individuals who have spoken and written about their experiences with PTSD and war in general. However, it wasn't until I'd known her for a year that my female friend told me she had been raped in the military. Both she and my male friend had discussed other deeply painful and traumatizing aspects of military service, but my female friend said that for her personally it was "less complicated" to leave out the part about the rape.

I am not a war veteran, I will never personally experience the horrors of war and combat. I don't consiser my PTSD "better" or "worse" than anyone else's simply because everyone's experience is unique - its not a competition, after all, and no one wins with this disorder. My PTSD comes from years of reoccurring sexual abuse from my dad, and his friends. The abuse has not only left me mentally scarred, but physically disfigured due to not receiving medical treatment for multiple injuries (including broken bones, genital and intestinal mutilation) that occurred during episodes of sexual abuse.

I guess in some (maybe selfish) ways, I feel more ashamed of my PTSD. I once told someone I had PTSD and they asked if I was a vet. Of course I replied, "no" bit for some odd, inward reason I felt my face redden with shame. I felt like the conversation had to stop there because i knew mentioning sexual abuse would likely make the person I was talking to uncomfotable. I didn't make a brave decision to serve my country, and on a weird way I feel that I deserve less support that veterans. Ugh. Sorry if that makes no sense.

My question for everyone else is, do you feel that you yourself, your family/friends, or society around you perceives combat related PTSD as different that abuse-related PTSD? Is the difference good, bad, or neutral for PTSD sufferers?

I truly, truly hope I haven't worded this in a way that comes across as disrespteful to any PTSD sufferer - regardless of how the disorder came about. Wishing everyone the best on their journeys. :)

 

[Crow]

I think combat ptsd is easier to accept and therefore doesn’t have the stigma. Our society doesn't want to be made to see all the ways we fail by bringing the non-combat ptsd into light....or rather ptsd suffered by first responders and military. Child abuse carries a lot of shame for everyone. Hope that makes sense. My words aren't coming easy now

 

[ghotiff]

I understand where you are coming from. I'm too suffered sexual abuse for years as a child and believe it would be easier to explain it if my problems were from military, or cops or caused by me being exposed to bad things because I was noble and wanted to help people (military, cops, ambulance etc). Instead I was in the wrong place as a child and feel guilt that I didn't get myself out of there (logically I know I was too young to have any control).

But maybe this is just because the grass seem greener on the other side.

 

[Ed Norton]

In many ways, I have been sheltered from that particular aspect of ignorance about PTSD causes but I am aware of it, of course. I think that it's mainly that most of the public knowledge of PTSD comes from veterans. On the flip side many people think that vets with ptsd are dangerous people who are on the verge of homicidal meltdown.There's ignorance all over. I suppose the 'best' thing about the situation is that public awareness of PTSD is heightened. I think that the very worst trend is the trivialization of PTSD with nonstop claims of people claiming it from cheating spouses, feeling insulted, etc. Generally, that reinforces 'the you're not a veteran you can't have PTSD' mentality or the PTSD is fictional, thing which is harmful to all sufferers, including veterans.

 

[Virtues]

I am a combat vet; my mentor is a non vet. I look to them for guidance and light during my dark times. I didn't actively seek out a non vet as much as they just found me and no I don't look upon them any differently.

 

[HoosierGal]

@Ed Norton brings up a good point.

I would agree (though not from personal experience) that having PTSD as a veteran come with its own unique problems that child abuse victims don't encounter. You bring up a valid point - even though I'm often ashamed of being sexually abused, I've never had someone think this would make me violent.

This brings up some gender diffetences in PTSD, too. My male cousin was abused with me when we were children. He is now in his 20's and I think he feels the shame of sexual abuse more than I do. His worries are that his masculinity has somehow been damaged, or that others will think he himself is pedophile. Neither of these are true, but represent aspects of abuse I've not had to even think about.

Thanks for your responses.

 

[Sighs]

I think some people are willing to be empathetic and others are not. I've seen a lot of ignorance and nastiness towards vets. My vet has been called a murderer to his face. I've heard people say things like "he chose to be a soldier so he can't whinge about PTSD" or "why is he on a military pension? its not like he's in a wheelchair."

Hopefully awareness of PTSD from all causes will mean both vets and non-vets who suffer from it will encounter less stigma and less ignorance.

 

[HoosierGal]

*please ignore my gad grammer /spelling. I hate typing on phones.

@Sighs I'm so sorry you and your vet have to experience that :(

 

[Ed Norton]

Just to add: I'm not a veteran. I agree about the shame, that I can relate to. All sufferers seem to have stigmas. In my case it's ' what did you do?' or 'that doesn't just happen' It sucks, but they are in most situations, best ignored.

 

[Friday]

My question for everyone else is, do you feel that you yourself, your family/friends, or society around you perceives combat related PTSD as different that abuse-related PTSD? Is the difference good, bad, or neutral for PTSD sufferers?

Yep. For some reason people think it would be fun & totally okay to talk about combat... Wherein it would be beyond horrifying / completely rude to talk about other kinds of trauma.

There's a bit of a line, with both. "Did he hit you?" or the suuuuuper vague "What happened?" seems to be as "okay" to ask as "Did you ever kill anyone?"... But people generally then STFU with other types of trauma. If they know it was combat? Enter 10,000 invasive f*cking questions, and this whole turned on + I have a right to know + I think I already do know & am going to tell you everything I think I know.

To be completely fair, other trauma peeps generally know where the real line is. But... I've caught the same damn attitude there, too. Because I'm a chick I've occasionally been thrown into rape groups where this has happened. I'm not a nice person. Ask me an invasive f*cking question? I'll ask you one right back, graphic as f*ck, and watch you start shaking and puking and screaming at me how unfair it is that I did that. Mmmhmm. The difference is I wasn't all turned on & excited while I asked you, while you were when you asked me. So bite me.

There's also a helluva lot of "You signed up for it", moral judgments (murderer, etc.), political bullshit (more babyraping murderer BS, right along with "those poor people" ...who were trying to kill us), assumptions, being called a liar...

I have an easy out. Because I'm a chick, people assume rape OR domestic violence, and then generally STFU / show a little damn respect. So dealing with other people's idiocy is really my own fault. <grin> But I'm exceptionally talented at taking the blame for shit ;)

Shrug. Having multiple types of trauma, that's the most glaring difference I've noticed.

 

[Sighs]

if I had a dollar for every voyeuristic, slightly panting arsehole (male and female) who tried to get me to tell them the gory details of what exactly caused my vet's combat PTSD I could quit my job. Like somehow its too invasive to ask him directly but if they come to me and promise me they would never let on to him that they know then I should spill the most intimate details of his trauma to them?

I think its sad that people make moral judgement like this at all. I wonder what difference it makes to them whether a person's PTSD is caused by combat or child sexual abuse or something more "neutral" like a car accident.

 

[scout86]

In the US, we treated the people who served in Vietnam horribly when they came home, in a lot of cases anyway. Since then this country has been on kind of a national guilt trip. The whole "thank you for your service" thing seems like some kind of over compensation. And I think there's an element of burying your head in the sand too. (Not saying we shouldn't be grateful for the people who are willing to do what others can't or won't.)

I think people THINK they "get" combat. I think they think they know what it's like. They've seen it on TV after all. :rolleyes: In their head, it sits in some kind of compartment where it feels safe to play around with it. I don't think they have the same kind of connection to rape, or child abuse, or domestic violence, or a lot of other things. Firefighters and police officers and other first responders are maybe some place in between. Maybe something a little closer to home it too scary to really contemplate.

The thing is, they don't REALLY get any of this. How could they?