Difficulty Pretending

[SwordsPandaGirl]

My friend has come to visit and I feel terrible. Im finding it difficult to pretend to he ok, when I know im not. My anxiety is really bad amd I feel so depressed. I love her to bits but its draining to put ona facade that Iim perfectly fine when im the complete opposite inside....

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Is this a friend that you can open up to and let her know you are struggling? Maybe if you can say to her "hey, I'm struggling a bit right now with anxiety and depression" then you would have some of the weight lifted from your shoulders in that you won't have to pretend to be 100% OK. I oftentimes hate the phrase "fake it 'til you make it" but sometimes it fits and sometimes it can get us to push through difficult situations. So maybe it doesn't have to be an all or nothing sort of thing in that you can disclose your struggles but still work on pushing through the anxiety and depression. I know its quite rough when we feel like we have to put on a happy face for everyone else!

 

[risingsun]

It is draining to put on a facade. I have had to do this with many visitors. If this person is a true friend, I would open up about how you are feeling. True friends will help uplift you and Listen to You when your in the dark and in the light. I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I hope this situation improves for you. My thoughts are with you, Rising Sun.

 

[arfie]

Putting on facades is where I think I do most of my fertilizing for guilt and resentments. I have grown convinced (maybe I am justifying?) that it is not only unhealthy for me, it is unflattering for the people I do it for. Most of them can tell when I am not, "Fine." Still, allot of gory detail can be even worse than the little lie. I go for gentle, simple truths where I neither hide my condition, nor get into allot of detail.

"I am out of sorts. Bear with me, please."
"Feeling tired..."
"Been better..."

Gentle validation while you sort your own, Swords.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

:hug:s Panda