Relationship Dilemma... Please Advise!

[nursenurse]

You just answered it. If it was a non PTSD relationship....... Read this thread over and over again.

 

[Remindme5]

I'm extremely hurt. I found out he is on a dating site and when I confronted him he was so incredibly rude. I've been nothing but supportive and wow. He wants to meet up I just don't know if it's a good idea.

 

[nursenurse]

Uh, how about NO!!!!.?

 

[Remindme5]

I know. He's saying is "nothing serious, just talking, isn't it funny. One day we are going to look back at it and laugh." ???!!!!! Are you serious? But he still loves me and wants me in his life?! Omg, I am hurting but the blindfolds are gone. After his suicidal attempt, he changed. How I got thru work today, I do not know. Thank you for hearing me vent.

 

[Friday]

I think I'm confused.

He's said he wants you in his life, but doesn't want to be dating you / no commitments to each other, right? No exclusivity? Friendship & sex. Which you're okay with as long as you might have a shot in the future. But are upset that he's dating other people. Wasn't that the whole point of the not BF/GF, no commitments right now, no exclusivity?

 

[Remindme5]

Probably did not make myspef clear. No pressure of bf/gf title, but yes to exclusivity. Bc according to him, he wanted to really focus on healing and getting better and his therapy. Which I was nothing but understanding. But having a dating profile? That's taking it over the top.

 

[nursenurse]

He wants his cake and eat it too. Seriously, show him the door, flip him the bird, throw your glass at him (make sure it is the cheap scotch), get yer. Doc Martens on, the old ones, and plant one of them firmly where his sun don't shine. There is no confusion unless you want it. And then go and do something fabulous for yourself. Which you will have already done by letting the door slam him firmly in the arse.

 

[bell]

If he really wanted to focus and healing and therapy, he'd get off the dating site, which is only a distraction. And at this point, you're, I'm afraid only a distraction, too.

Because when you're really doing the work, you don't have time to rekindle much of anything. Take it slow, friend slow. If he wants more, he has to prove himself first.

 

[Remindme5]

And that's exactly why I'm angry!!!!
I'm genuinely worried for him, doing my research, trying to be caring. In the meantime he's on a dating site! My eyes are dry. I literally have no tears left. I can't believe I'm here in a similar mess for the second time. Wow I feel like a fool. Whatever karma I'm paying, I'm sorry lol

 

[nursenurse]

He is a lout. Move on. There are nice PTSD guys out there. He ain't it.

 

[StarChild]

He is a lout.

...I already learned some very good insights from you, and now you take me even further; To learn very interesting new English words too... :tup:

 

[Jane.l]

Ptsd is no reason for treating someone like crap - it seems he's using it as an excuse so he can keep you hanging and do what he likes in the meantime. I don't think this is going to do you any good or bring you anything but sadness .