- Thread starter
- #13
mylunareclipse
MyPTSD Pro
Thank you all for your comments!!!
So the other day as I said I had a few clear moments when I realized why these things had affected me so much and it made a lot of sense.
Now I feel a bit detached from all that and a bit scared of my session.
I feel ashamed for having feel so hurt...if it’s so obvious that she only meant that I am not responsible for her feelings then I feel like of ashamed that I had such reaction :( I feel like I should hide so I don’t hurt anyone else with my useless “triggers” and also getting cold feet about talking about it in therapy tomorrow :(
based on my previous therapist that I saw for three years she thought I had a disorganized attachment, which is interesting as it’s not something that I feel in my closest relationships ie my husband
My therapist thinks that I am fragmented and a switch happens and I go from one state to the other ... but I feel like this is just justification for my bad behavior.
If I really mishear things so badly I feel like I should hide from society and be punished to “solitude”
But yes the whole invisible things is bigger than just a therapy session.... it goes back on and on to all my life... I truly believed I was invisible... after three years of working with my previous therapist I still didn’t know if she even remembered me or my name between sessions...
It’s fine to be invisible I guess... it just hurts to get my hopes up.
But like you guys are saying maybe she didn’t even mean that at all
Lastly, yes to feeling this sense of control over feeling that if I just am perfect the other people won’t be mad and bad things will not happen. Maybe I was feeling many things at once...invisibility and sense of loss of control.
Now how to get over the shame and discuss it tomorrow? I haven’t seen this therapist for that long even, but we re meeting twice a week so the work is going faster.!
So the other day as I said I had a few clear moments when I realized why these things had affected me so much and it made a lot of sense.
Now I feel a bit detached from all that and a bit scared of my session.
I feel ashamed for having feel so hurt...if it’s so obvious that she only meant that I am not responsible for her feelings then I feel like of ashamed that I had such reaction :( I feel like I should hide so I don’t hurt anyone else with my useless “triggers” and also getting cold feet about talking about it in therapy tomorrow :(
based on my previous therapist that I saw for three years she thought I had a disorganized attachment, which is interesting as it’s not something that I feel in my closest relationships ie my husband
My therapist thinks that I am fragmented and a switch happens and I go from one state to the other ... but I feel like this is just justification for my bad behavior.
If I really mishear things so badly I feel like I should hide from society and be punished to “solitude”
But yes the whole invisible things is bigger than just a therapy session.... it goes back on and on to all my life... I truly believed I was invisible... after three years of working with my previous therapist I still didn’t know if she even remembered me or my name between sessions...
It’s fine to be invisible I guess... it just hurts to get my hopes up.
But like you guys are saying maybe she didn’t even mean that at all
Lastly, yes to feeling this sense of control over feeling that if I just am perfect the other people won’t be mad and bad things will not happen. Maybe I was feeling many things at once...invisibility and sense of loss of control.
Now how to get over the shame and discuss it tomorrow? I haven’t seen this therapist for that long even, but we re meeting twice a week so the work is going faster.!