Dissociation - Talking To Myself (did-like, Maladaptive Daydreaming)

[JKMD]

I do this constantly. I think it's kind of a way to work things out in your head so to speak. I real...

I've always talked to myself too. Now that my kids are older they notice it, especially how I seem to laugh for no reason or make facial expressions, in response to it. My kids were also the first to point out that I'm bipolar, in that I can be furiously pissed with someone yet if someone else walks up my demeanor is sweet as can be or whatever. To them it's insane that I can make the change between such extreme states of mind, but to me, it's the way everyone should be, in that I don't see why I should be mad at everyone because I'm mad at one person. I can make the distinction. It's a good thing.

I'm also a picker of skin (very soothing!), and I always forget what I did two seconds ago. I've suspected for some time that I'm dissociative to some degree. I just don't know how much of it's normal behavior because I hear some of you guys saying that "most people don't talk to themselves." Is that true? I talk out loud to myself, rationalize things, etc....

I was sexually abused on atleast one occasion that I repressed and remembered years later but the main thing is that my mother was a hardcore drug addict. That caused major PTSD. But dissociation too?

 

[JKMD]

I've mentioned in other posts but the part I find difficult personally is the compulsion to vocalize my ne...

How I deal with my kids noticing when I talk to myself and laugh, etc... well I just go with it. It's what I do. Then know I'm a little crazy (in a fun way but sometimes explosive) so they point it out and giggle when I do it. It doesn't bother me and I don't try to cover it up. So far as their comments when I go from being explosive to one person and simultaneously sweet as can be to another... well they think that even that's crazy but to me it's a good thing, that I'm able to differentiate my feelings towards people.

 

[JKMD]

While I know that sex or physical abuse can lead to dissociation, what about parental drug abuse that's non-stop from the age of 3 or 4 and hardcore in that the mother's on the needle & all that entails. In other words, can abandonment, neglect, ignored, and the constant CONSTABT fear of ones mother dying cause it too? Just wondering because while I'm in my mid 40's right now, I've noticed certain things about myself that have made me wonder if it's dissociation. Because what I've noticed all these decades is that the anxiety a situation like that causes varies but so do the other symptoms. It's strange. It's like my reaction to mothers drug addiction and my childhood trauma's are always evolving.

 

[BlueOrange]

In other words, can abandonment, neglect, ignored, and the constant CONSTABT fear of ones mother dying cause it too?

Yes. Those things (particularly in the case of a small child) are threats to survival, and can have follow-on effects that may include a disorder of structural dissociation (PTSD, DD-NOS, DID).