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Distancing Yourself From Family & Friends. Anyone Else Do This? Why?

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the grandchildren will be pleased to see me. I don't have to pretend with them. They just accept me as I am.

kids are amazing that way aren't they?

Did you drag your therapist to the tool shed? or give him a pass? when he said that about you being difficult?;) Hopefully the latter, 'cause after all they are human too.

I realize now how I DO make it sooo hard for my therapist to do his job and "tie his hands" as my rape crisis counselor would always tell me. The poor guy. Well, at least he can't say, "I'm boring". He said, "you are many things BUT boring is NOT one of them".:D I can only imagine the adjectives he'd use to describe me! HA. I'll take a pass on knowing.
 
I can relate to everyone in this thread. :) Most of the time I love being by myself, no pressure when I by myself.
I also like being alone, I have mostly been alone all my life. Childhood- highschool
and now mostly all the time, nothing to watch. So I just say I am tired/sick just to b alone
I do get my chores done so gf won't get mad and use i. Against me. It's getting harder to want to be
with anybody these days.
 
Me? counseling? I did it was marriage counseling and it turnd out badly. I should go again but I would have to look for the right dr. Even then It would take 2-3 years to trust that he/she could handle someone with the abuse that I had to deal with. I just don't have the money for that kind of thing.
 
It doesn't have to take 2-3 years. It could take less. If you set your expectations to 2-3 years, it's probable it will.

In the mean time, it's good you're looking for alternatives at least.
 
Howard, I know what you mean about bad counseling...been there, but I've gone through dozens over my lifetime and been in a lock down ward 3 times and finally found a counselor who was one of the few experts in PTSD/CPTSD. There are certain Mental Health places that treat people on a sliding scale, so look for one in your area. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience...it does tend to put you off and people that are "counselors" are also people, so unless they have some expertise in the area that affects you, they seem to be pretty worthless. As for isolating, I didn't do it at first, but after misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis and too many meds to count, I was a blithering mess. My adult children were not the least bit understanding or compassionate, my "friends" turned away or maybe I turned them away. Most of my friends now live hundreds of miles away from me and I think they probably have PTSD, too. They listen when I'm down and I listen when they're down and we usually end of laughing. Now, I am only on anxiety meds and something to help me sleep. I fired my psychiatrist, but got my MD to prescribe what I needed. I go to therapy once a week and my therapist is an amazing human being, who doesn't judge me or hit me with "standard phrases" to answer me. I got my husband to start training at a gym with me using a personal trainer and we both feel so much better not being fat anymore, but as for going to the gym on my own...well, that's a little dicey right now.

I think we all isolate ourselves when we have our first major and/or subsequent breakdowns (which is what happens to me), but it does get better. The people in this thread who said you have to force yourself to go out and put yourself out there are right. It is like walking on a slippery log over a deep creek, but once you get across, you feel amazingly proud and strong. It's just one step at a time and forget about what others think...most of them have their own problems, so who are they to judge?:insane:
 
I find myself isolating. I do talk to people online, I found that to be a good comprimise. I can talk when I want to. I can turn off chat or turn it on. I can get out of answering questions about the abuse easier. When people call me or try to come over I discourage it. I have more control online. It's hard to not be around people but for now it is what I seem to need.
 
It doesn't have to take 2-3 years. It could take less. If you set your expectations to 2-3 years, it's probable it will.

In the mean time, it's good you're looking for alternatives at least.

NYX:
those are not expectations it's the wY I am my male friend at work I didn't say anything
to him for five years I have been at work for 17 years and have only said a handfull of
words. Good morning and good night do not count because I don't say that
 
Well
I find myself isolating. I do talk to people online, I found that to be a good comprimise. I can talk when I want to. I can turn off chat or turn it on. I can get out of answering questions about the abuse easier. When people call me or try to come over I discourage it. I have more control online. It's hard to not be around people but for now it is what I seem to need.

we both know that's not the right way to live. But what can we do? To go outside and talk to a stranger makes my skin crawl.
I have always Been this way. Good Luck in what you decide.
 
You are right in so many ways. But when it comes to working out, keep doing it no matter what. No matter how you feel. Things will change inside of you. Start slow like walking around the block b4 you u know it it will be 2 to 3 miles and the change inside. Will do u good. I was your avrave couch tater, got a dog for walks. Got down to size 29. That was cool, and I lifted weights 3 times a week. Then crap I devloled 4 tears in my spinal column that leaks spinal fluid. So take it from me. Go slow and u can do it :) it will pay off
 
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