Distinguishing Kinds Of Dissociation

[Michel]

Good morning, all. I have a question about dissociation. I was repeatedly terrorized (if that's the right word) by my husband. Typically, I would become emotionally numb but otherwise continue to function. Once, my son (then 6 years old) was home and awake when my husband started raging. The rage continued for a long time, and I could hear that my son was nervously pacing the hallway outside the room where my husband and I were. I felt I needed to get to my son to comfort him but could not - my husband blocked the way with the intensity of his anger. This went on for a long while until it felt to me like a ghostly slice of me lifted off my body and floated out the window, over the yard, down the street. I have absolutely no memory of the rest of that night. I don't remember ever dealing with the issue any time near to the event.

I think that what happened is that because my son was home, I did not get numb as usual. Not being numb left me vulnerable to more severe dissociation. But what kind of dissociation is this? I did not feel like I was "above myself, looking down," - that is, I was not viewing something that was happening to me as if it were happening to someone else. I simply "left" and feel as if I experienced nothing more from that moment on. It feels to me like I really was no longer there from that point on. My therapist has suggested that somewhere I have memories of the rest of the night but it really does not feel to me like I do.

Has anyone had an experience like this?

 

[TLight]

My entire childhood was like this, with brief snapshots of memories that were bad.........so I know the rest was enough to make me leave the scene.

I never experienced the 'out of body looking down on myself thing'.........I just floated into the molecules of the air. I prefer it there to this place, if you ask me.

Yeah......this is severe dissociation.