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Poll Do Lights Trigger You?

Do lights trigger you?

  • Under certain conditions (Please explain)

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Other (Please explain)

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    13
  • Poll closed .
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arfie

Diamond Member
Security lights are my bad boys. The random chaos of security lights feels like eye daggers in the night. I miss the comfort of the starlight.
 
The only lights that cause me trouble are flickering lights like a florescent or neon light that is failing and certain makes of newer cars that have the red LED lights for tail lights. Not all though. Certain ones that strobe (supposedly faster than the eye can notice). If they move across my field of view or I look back and forth like a good driver should for institutional awareness they actually cause me disorientation and pain.

Usually they just are unpleasant, but If I'm already anxious, they can send me over the edge to rage or panic attack.
 
If find driving at night time in the city impossible, its the lights, like all the coloured lights red car tail lights, street lights, shops all blurr into one and I start to freak. I am fine in country areas and feel almost comforted when driving where there are no street lights at all, a very peaceful feeling. Luckily I now live in a small country town but I still find it very hard to around town at night and only do it if I really have to (last time was a trip to emergency!), there is no way I could move back to the city. It also helps that my daughter is young so I don't get out at night anymore, this is a good thing for me. Its not so bad if I'm walking, still there but not out of control.
 
Certain lights really upset me, I don't know if it's full PTSD trigger, but it definitely starts up obsessive thought processes, anxiety and in some cases flashbacks, I don't know why, but it's so fast. My friend's bathroom light at night does it there's something in the way that it flickers before turning on that makes me instantly sick, I now jam my eyes shut before turning it on or don't turn it on at all. Certain flickering lights do too, they seem to just mess with my brain and make me feel really messed up and cause a lot of anxiety and sickness.
 
I hate strobe lights, and I don't know why. In all 15 years of being abused, I never had an incident involving one. I just hate them, and they make me anxious. My friends notice when we go clubbing, because I'll pretty much stop dancing when the strobe lights come on, and when we're walking down George Street (2 city blocks of pubs, clubs & bars only open to foot traffic after 12-noon), if they club everyone else is suggesting has strobe light effects visible from the street at the time when my opinion is asked, I'll vote strongly against that club. Doesn't matter if it's otherwise looking like the best option, or if we've had good times there before.

Another lighting situation that really bothers me is outdoor lighting at night. I hate bright spots of light in the darkness, especially when in a car / when the lights are on a car, because then they're moving. I find that I have very poor depth perception in these situations, and it makes me feel very unsafe and exposed. On top of that, most of my days of horror with my father ended in long drives back to my home town, after dark, with me staring out at all the city lights the whole way.
 
I can't sleep with even a small light on (like a digital clock or something) I have to cover it up because I feel like someone will see me...
 
Some of my flashback are like snippets of a film that flash over and over really fast, so strobe lights, and believe it or not... I know this is weird and hard to describe... when I'm driving and the sun is to the left of me, shinning through the trees, it's a flicker sort of, just like my flashbacks, so it's upsetting, and sometimes will start a flashback.

I know this happens, so usually I try to block the sunlight with my hand over that side of my eyes.
 
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