Do You "Check Out" When You Are Overwhelmed Emotionally

[Artista]

I feel that throughout my week. Sometimes my brain is just too busy with what I must self-talk about to use good communication skills. At least I believe that is why I "check out!" Sometimes it seems so trite or "surfacey" stuff. The weather, bragging about their kids, day to day mundane things and then it's like all I hear are the Charlie Brown cartoon adults... wahh wahh wahh wahhhh. I can often control it, if it is truly important what the person is saying. Maybe your inner communication is just too busy with yourself? Are you very inverted right now and dealing with so much of the PTSD that you just don't see the outside world? If you are working that hard, you may want to take a break and find something you can engage in. Just a suggestion... don't know all the pieces here I am sure!

 

[Jade-]

I'm starting to "check out" even when it's good things happening in my life, like holding my new grandaughter. I love her so much and feel it when i'm holding her for a short bit, then I feel so disconnected from her.

If I have a family dinner or cookout, It starts out good but then I just totally detach or something . I feel like i'm missing out on life. It's like I totally go off line or something, like the plug has been pulled.

 

[Iam]

Same here you guys. I remember having "tunnel" experiences before and during my breakdown 8 years ago. I may have been having blank out periods during the last 8 years, but just didn't realize them for what they were. Since starting therapy last fall and really over the last 2 months dissociation, flashbacks and blank outs are happening more and more frequently. I know that it is just the stress of starting to re-live all of the traumas by writing them in my diary and starting to talk about them. That doesn't take away the panic that they cause me either during or after an episode. I am holding on to the hope given here and by my therapist that this is just part of the process, the journey if you will, to healing and that once there, it will get better.

 

[disconnect]

Yes, always..

 

[dhawkins78412]

I think the checking out and dissociating is part of ptsd. The damage that it caused us. I beleive as they say there are changes in the brain after experiencing trauma. We are changed. And this is a result of that experience.

We can try to act "normal" which I find overwhelming and exhausting at times. So after a day of work I prefer to be alone so I can recuperate. I've always been active so I work out which releives a lot of stress. What did we do when we were abused-we checked out.

 

[Tinyflame]

It's been my experience that there are 2 forms of checking out: one from extreme stress ('normal' for most people if the stress or grief is severe enough), the other dissociation (to varying degrees; trauma-related?). Oh ya, and a 3rd- exhaustion.

 

[Iam]

Wow.....Thanks everyone...your comments are so helpful. I don't know if I didn't used to check out or that I am just learning to recognize it. My flashbacks are of the emotional kind...I don't find myself "back in an old experience" per se. I can shut down in a micro second because of something someone said, a certain look on someone's face or when around people who are drunk. I suppose there are many other triggers as well, but it seems to be more emotional for me. Mostly I just seem to have trouble understanding what people are saying to me. I'm there, but not there at the same time, does that make sense? It's like I literally stop hearing them. Weird. It has been getting really bad these last six months. I'm not sure if it is because I am off my anti-depressants or because I am in therapy and dealing with the traumas for the first time. Maybe it's both. All I know is that I don't like how easy it is for me to shut down and check out. I am hoping once my T and I process the emotions of past experiences that it will stop.

 

[onlybygrace]

I experience what you are talking about all the time. I am so used to it that I forget that it is a symptom of ptsd. I think when it does bother me is when I am needing to be super vigilant or am nervous and am afraid that I'll miss part of a vital part of the conversation and therefore be "discovered". That's when I get anxious about it. I have done this for years upon years and I have learned to cope with it or like I said I have gotten used to it. I didn't know that these were emotional flashbacks until I started with this forum. Odd how a person can go for so many years dealing with ptsd and keep it under wraps and then have it all make sense so many years later. A really helpful thread....

 

[MissPlumDrop]

This happens to me too. It happened really bad last Christmas when my older brother said something regarding one of my abusers in the form of fresh information that actually confirmed what I had over the last few years slowly been remembering piece by piece; that I had been another of this person's victims. I definitely checked out; more than I ever have before. It was as if the world narrowed down to a pinpoint and I lost all physical sensation, speech and my vision tunneled until all I was aware of were his words and what they meant for me. I could not move and just sat there asking myself "did he just say what I thought he said?" Usually, my dissociation is along the lines of my mind wandering and not "coming back" until a bus or car whizzes by, or some other disruptive thing that snaps me out of it.

 

[LeoTheLion]

Wonder if my experience is consider dissociation? I was with someone we were chatting then all of sudden I feel like blank out and numb but knowing that that person is talking but I just quiet I was only able say few words but not relate to what that person say. Is it possible to have dissociation and say few words? or when experience dissociation not able to say anything? Or say something but not make sense or not related? or say few words like fine, OK, or something like that?

 

[Iam]

I want to laugh, but will refrain for fear of offending you Leo. OH Yes, that is most definitely part of dissociation. My T has suggested that I pay attention to what is being said or what the circumstance/situation is when I check out. I find this very hard to do because when I dissociate I can't remember what the person was saying. This self awareness part is something that I am trying to learn. It is really tough for me to do. Mainly cause I never feel like I get a break from trudging through this mire. I do understand that the circumstances in which we dissociate can be a key to what needs to be dealt with. Thanks for your question Leo....it helped me to frame this in my mind a little better.

 

[Marley]

I day dream at least twice a week, but no one's really around to notice it or bring me back :P