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Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

Discussion in 'Avoidance' started by Living in the 70s, Jul 2, 2016.

  1. Living in the 70s

    Living in the 70s Was Disco Dancing Queen Premium Member Donated

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    This is so hard. It has been so strong today, it took over my day whilst I was still doing other things.
     
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  3. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

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    Did you notice any triggers?

    For me, high stress and even trying to focus are big triggers for maladaptive daydreaming. Certain songs can trigger it too, and I know it's getting out of hand when I realize I've been playing the same song over and over again for hours.. it means my brain is stuck in a mode.
     
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  4. Living in the 70s

    Living in the 70s Was Disco Dancing Queen Premium Member Donated

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    I am not sure what the triggers are, but I will look out for them. That is a good thing to think about. Thanks @littleoc.
     
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  5. Living in the 70s

    Living in the 70s Was Disco Dancing Queen Premium Member Donated

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    Well being in my body is a trigger @littleoc, and being present in this now is a trigger. So building it up 15 seconds at a time is the way to go. Now I am tapering off on my medication (under medical supervision) and I am no longer habitually comfort eating, and mostly I have stopped the binge eating - well it is all coming up. The obsessive thinking is so huge in my life. That whole other narrative is just so huge for me. I have lived there more for years than I have lived here, in this now. So it is a big change.

    All the many things I have done have contributed to a certain level of managing my symptoms, quite well at times, and The Alexander Technique has really assisted lately. I didn't do any yesterday, and I could feel it by last night, so it is really working, but I have to keep it up.
     
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2018
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  6. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

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    I relate to this completely. There's so much to it and it's so intricate, and much easier to handle than reality.

    What is this, exactly?
     
  7. DharmaGirl

    DharmaGirl Crazy Chicken Lady Premium Member Donated

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    I can't believe I never responded to this! I did this most of my life. It got so bad that it was my life. I would be angry if someone interrupted my daydreaming. I can't consciously remember how I stopped. I remember being in therapy and saying that a friend didn't live in the real world. Then I told him I didn't either. For me, and I know this doesn't work for you @Disco Dancing Queen, it was Metta, mindfulness meditation, mindfulness in small doses, and I think therapy. I don't dream my life away anymore and I can't explain how it happened. I do read about 4 books a week at least, and listen to books on tape while I go to sleep. I have to concentrate on the book so I don't go into a daydream and keep myself awake all night. I'm always thinking about all my projects, which may be the same kind of coping mechanism. I have lots of projects going on at once. The front gardens, the chickens, furniture refinishing, the veggie and herb garden etc...

    Before I stopped the daydreaming, I read that when you visualize something, your brain thinks it has been done. I never played darts, but before we went to play, I visualized hitting the bullseye for hours. I beat everyone. So, my conclusion was that my life was fine with the daydreaming, I didn't have a real life like most people, but I had a real life in my brain. When I had my child, I had to be present for him, and I had to be present to study too. Maybe that helped. I don't know. I do know I have to be careful not to let myself slip into daydreaming when I am bored.
     
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  8. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

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    Me, too. I would purposefully avoid other humans to make sure I couldn't be interrupted. So I'd go running at night.

    I can't remember how I got better exactly either. But I remember trying to focus on work I had to do. Trying to focus is a bit of a trigger for it, though.
     
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  9. KwanYingirl

    KwanYingirl I'm a VIP

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    Yes, yes, yes. I have been daydreaming since I was a wee little girl. It manifests in many ways. Professionally, I will be talking to a client, telling them a story and then from their reporting of it, I just stop talking. I don’t hurt them, I do slow down, but I’m in my mind just fantasizing away. When I come to (no matter when or where I slip into dream mode) I developed a rescue strategy to get back. I just breathe. Count to 6 breathing in and 6 breathing out.
    It’s completely different than dissociating. Stress doesn’t trigger it. I simply learned to daydream to pass the horrible time of living in my family.
    Just today, I went to welcome my new neighbors. I wanted to give them my contact info and also let them know how to resolve conflicts they are bound to have with the 2 bitches that have condos here. So they invited me in. They wanted to show me improvements they’ve made and watching them paint started me daydreaming about changing the color of my living room. Maybe just an accent wall. I don’t remember what my neighbors told me.
    I practice mindfulness meditation. I may be altering my consciousness but it calms me down, allows me to be grounded and as such, open to the Universe.
     
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  10. Living in the 70s

    Living in the 70s Was Disco Dancing Queen Premium Member Donated

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    And I try to work through all the issues taht I might have in the future here. It is so hypnotic for me, terribly so.

    I realise it is just my mind. I was at meditation class so each time it came in with the maladaptive day dreaming I just said hello to my mind, I thanked it from preventing me from going crazy as a child, I thanked it for protecting me against the exploitative psychologist, and told it that it was okay now, I can manage. I had to do that repeatedly, and it is so easy for me to slip back into it without barely noticing. So noticing I am in it is a big part of the process for me at the moment.

    It is really hard to describe, but it is a form of Mindful Movement. But it is more of undoing than of actually doing. You don't stress or try hard, but you need to be present and notice. I see a good teacher!
     
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  11. littleoc

    littleoc Making everywhere I go a better place Premium Member Donated

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    Nice!

    Maybe I should look into it!
     
  12. Living in the 70s

    Living in the 70s Was Disco Dancing Queen Premium Member Donated

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    I don't live in this world much, but I do much more than I ever did. I am a bit more here some days. I am working on it.

    I was at a meditation group for two hours on Sunday and it occurred to me that I could use all these types of meditations in that I greet my mind, acknowledge, thank it for keeping me safe, reassure it that I am safe now, and I can manage and then return to breathing and being grounded. I did it a few times. A long way to go, but I have begun!

    It is really working for my body!

    I so get this, this was the way it was for me, the other narrative kept me from going mad from all the craziness, abuse, trauma, and nastiness, after I ran away from home, to save the lives of my siblings, then I had to deal with losing my sisters and brothers, and the horror of manipulation unleashed by my Mother and the women in our family, no wonder the priests could get away with all the sexual abusing, there were all these complicit woman just lined up around the corner ready to cover up or assassinate those brave enough to speak up. The horrors of disconnection, the pestilence of loneliness, ostracisation, and living in fear for my life, didn't make for much fun. The damage done by trauma as a child has taken me a long time to deal with, and I have tried really, really hard, but yet I am so slow to heal.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2018
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  13. DharmaGirl

    DharmaGirl Crazy Chicken Lady Premium Member Donated

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    I realized later, and put in my diary, that when I do mindless farm work I still daydream. Just when you think you are better, lol. That gives me more to work on.
     
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