Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

[ms spock]

After all that then I went and completely went into fantasyland. What is it with me?

 

[littleoc]

After all that then I went and completely went into fantasyland. What is it with me?

It's okay -- you're still practicing :) be happy with your progress!

 

[ms spock]

The main progress is noticing more and more how much I am locked in to the hypnotic glare of my maladaptive daydreaming, but yes even those brief moments of pulling myself out of it. Each of those moments is growing a bigger awareness, and new neural pathways.

 

[ms spock]

I am still really struggling with this!

I get anxious or triggered and I catapult into this.

I feel shame or humiliation and I ruminate on my maladaptively daydreaming.

 

[littleoc]

Don't focus on humiliation -- focus on the progress you've made! Remember it's not linear!

 

[ms spock]

So I am working on reducing this, coming back to this now, feeling my feet on the ground, and breaking out of the maladaptive daydreaming. It is hard. I have to do it every 15 or 30 seconds at the moment.

 

[bellbird]

I have to do it every 15 or 30 seconds at the moment.

Even this shows strength and determination.
I have maladaptive daydreaming too, though I didn't even realise it was a 'thing' or even had a name. It's my sanctuary from the real world.
I'll try to be more mindful of mine from now on. But it's so hard. Your 15-30 seconds is progress :)

 

[Sassinak]

Until @chant2012 mentioned it i...

I had no idea there was a name for what I do frequently. I've always told myself "stories" whenever I'm stressed or having trouble falling asleep at night. Sometimes I can get so into a 'story' that I lose four plus hours of my day.

The stories change depending on my mood, but they do have an underlying theme of abuse and being saved from that abuse. I like my wish fulfilment fantasies! :P

I find I do this day dreaming less when I have access to other means of turning off my brain, like pain killers or alcohol. I'm actually more functional and productive when I use those substances 'because' I'm not day dreaming.

 

[ms spock]

Don't focus on humiliation -- focus on the progress you've made!

Good point! I am trying to sit more with shame and humiliation as I suspect that I am in maladaptive daydreaming in order to avoid shame and humiliation. I am doing Self Compassion Breaks, and naming and embracing my shame.

Remember it's not linear!

It is indeed not linear! I hope it is something though. I know sometimes it is, but for the longest time I had no idea.

I had no idea there was a name for what I do frequently.

That was me at the beginning of this thread. I was so shocked and startled that there was a name for what I do most of the day, most days!

I've always told myself "stories" whenever I'm stressed or having trouble falling asleep at night. Sometimes I can get so into a 'story' that I lose four plus hours of my day.

I can do this as well. I have done this for years and years.

The stories change depending on my mood, but they do have an underlying theme of abuse and being saved from that abuse. I like my wish fulfilment fantasies! :p

Yeah me too! They are so comforting. Mine have changed to me managing to do okay now in situations. I am trying to work things out so I can get work.

I find I do this day dreaming less when I have access to other means of turning off my brain, like pain killers or alcohol. I'm actually more functional and productive when I use those substances 'because' I'm not day dreaming.

That is really interesting. I have disordered eating, and I think I have used that to numb myself a lot of my life.

Even this shows strength and determination.

It does, doesn't it? It is so damn hard. I am trying to be more here!

I have maladaptive daydreaming too, though I didn't even realise it was a 'thing' or even had a name. It's my sanctuary from the real world.

There are so many of us! There are so many of us!

I'll try to be more mindful of mine from now on. But it's so hard. Your 15-30 seconds is progress :)

I am still doing it every 15 or 30 seconds though today

This morning I went to a Buddhist meditation and talk for two hours. We did a forty minute meditation. I worked with/on my mind, and gently challenging my maladaptive daydreaming, and noting my thoughts and my ruminations. I did okay with it. It wasn't easy but I did it. So it is an ongoing thing. I will have to practice everyday!

 

[Angrylittlebird]

I must be a bit different then because I have done this since I can remember. And for me it IS malada...

I have had the same problem my whole life, and I don’t post it or talk about it for the same reasons you mention. I have noticed through the years, though, that my daydreams in some way relate to trauma I endured in early (VERY early) life. You are not alone in it being MALadaptive, or in having your mind highjack you and drag you through gutterville. I find that it usually tends to end my extreme anxiety though. No matter what bad thing I could experience in real life, or see or deal with in real life (AGAIN)...I’ve already learned how to survive through my relentless and disturbing gutter-tromps. You’re the main character and you just had your heart trashed...yeah, I can go to that get-together now. I’m prepared. Fearing abandonment? Discouragement? Someone looked at me like they think I’m crappy? My mind escapes of its own accord. There I can endure anything. And physical pain is much more endurable than emotional pain. Especially if you’ve suffered both to know the difference. I wish I could offer you helpful advice but this is a problem I have also. I find the dissociation posts helpful. Just know you are not the only one.

 

[littleoc]

My maladaptive daydreaming was used against me once -- and ironically that made it worse instead of better, because now there's an entire intricate world that's so easy to fall into because it's already created and fully functional.

I treat it like a dissociation, but I also allow myself to experience it on purpose at times.. I actually sit down and write for an hour or two, allowing me to focus on it and feel accomplished in the real world, later.

Other times, when I've slipped into it during high stress, I purposely pull up triggers (certain kinds of music, especially) and tell myself it's a break... fifteen minutes. That usually fails -- I always want about thirty, forty, ninety minutes... but it hasn't ruined me just yet.

It used to be a lot worse.. but I found other hobbies. Like hiking, socializing, painting, and other things that kept me a bit present. It was hard.

I still purposely try to trigger it so I can escape, but I also do things I truly need to do, as well. I am hoping to get my brain to allow me to sit down only at certain times with it -- and sit, instead of pace, run, walk in circles, or shoot hoops (is that one odd? For much of it I was over exercising at the same time, as a replacement for cutting -- but I've been free of both since 2012ish!).

My service dog treats sudden maladaptive daydreaming episodes as dissociations. Interestingly, she has actually warned me before if I was about to go into it. That is how I learned that it was mostly happening when I was trying really hard to focus on something that took a lot of brain power. Not sure why that is, though.

Other times she blocks my pacing and tries to ground me.

Obviously you can't get a service dog for maladaptive daydreaming, but maybe you can find something with a similar function... like a small dog who gets excited when you suddenly get up to pace, if you pace. Or any creative solution...

Anyway. I hope any of that is helpful

 

[ms spock]

That is great that you have a service dog that can assist you in grounding and bringing your attention to your different states @littleoc!