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Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

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It is a good idea. I will think on that.

It's a real problem and challenge.
 
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It is a good idea. I will think on that.

It's a real problem and challenge.
I think after I spent a couple hrs making a behavior scale where I could quantify the behaviors, I was better able to gauge where I was with dissociative behavior with a number (you know, like the dr. pain chart of smily faces to a crying face).......and then identify the responses that would help me counteract the dissociation at that severity.
I could say, this feels like a 3, and then I had a response to counter a 3. ....Once I can identify the severity....because it comes on either slowly or really quickly.....I have developed responses depending upon where I am....and how dissociated I am....to stop it....and that seems to really have been a key to reducing dissociation.

So like if it's a 1 or 2-foggy not quite real feeling, I do the taste (peppermint) touch/feel (tactile) (rough smooth things) visual (identify stuff by name in the room, color, number, and say it outloud) or I call a friend and distract, if it's a 3- I get up and move around (kinesthetic), and if I'm up to a 4-I'm really on autopilot; my hearing diminished, my language really impaired, and I'm working towards nonlingual responses if I don't do something so a phone call at a 4 isn't helpful. At a 4, I am able to leave the area I'm in but vision, balance, hearing, and problem solving skills are limited.....so walking, get something cold to drink, and sometimes something sweet, are helpful. Movement is key.....cold is helpful......So being aware of the severity for me is really helpful in knowing how to quickly counter it because I've taken the symptoms and spent a lot of time figuring out what does and doesn't work in different situations and severities. I will say that was time well spent.
Good luck on figuring it out...
 
That's brilliant @TruthSeeker.

I don't know if you have read David Burns' "Feeling Good" or listened to the podcasts on his home page but he does the measurement thing the same lines that you did and for the same reasons that you have done. That's very clever.

I can do this and I can make it work.
 
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That's brilliant @TruthSeeker.

I don't know if you have read David Burns' "Feeling Good" or listened to the podcasts on his home page but he does the measurement thing the same lines that you did and for the same reasons that you have done. That's very clever.

I can do this and I can make it work.
Yes you can do this! I think sitting down and really picking apart the behavior, and what degrees it can go to, and how I needed to respond - what I needed to do immediately when I realized it was happening, was a real step in living much more in the here and now rather than in my alternate unreality. I also gave my scale to my T who used percent and that didn't connect with me, and told her to use my Likert scale instead........so when it started in therapy, I'd say....it's a 3 to her...then that also helped therapy to stay in the here and now because if I got to 3....she'd stop and do grounding exercises instead...and that was helpful. So, dissociation and getting control over it became the focus in therapy and at home, and in about 6 months....things were much better. Part of my success has been my knowledge base of behavior and my experience working with kids.....another are the two words I say aloud when I accomplish something (rather than sitting around in an alternative realm getting nothing done and just escaping without any positive feedback). These two words are "Good job!" I was comfortable saying good job to my students....and I worked hard to say it to me. No one else was going to do that-I had to tell myself something positive when I did something right.........the positive reinforcement I give myself is also huge.....to keep motivated to remain in the here and now.

I haven't read David Burns and don't know his work.......but I was a special ed teacher, did data-based behavioral instruction, and was a behavior management specialist.....I know the basics....just now applying it to myself in the 4th quarter of life. Maybe I ought to write a book like he did! LOL I'll be looking forward to hearing how it's going!
Good luck!
 
I'll ponder on that idea....I write for a living....not self-help books, more on educational materials....hadn't thought of a self-help book. Thanks for the encouragement!
I hope that you do!

I haven't gone any further on this except I am noticing more. I am noticing the shut downs and the numbing and the self annihilation.
 
I hope that you do!

I haven't gone any further on this except I am noticing more. I am noticing the shut downs and the numbing and the self annihilation.
If you are anything like I was, when I was with the dysfunctionals, I didn't even know what to notice.....spent way too much time hiding and dissociated.....and finally when I had had enough and left, I had a desire to change the way I lived........Getting away from the dysfunctional family has really brought about awareness, now that I have contact with other more normal people....I have hope that living doesn't have to be so isolating and hard. I, too am noticing a lot more, which is really helpful.
 
Until @chant2012 mentioned it in my diary earlier today I have never heard of "Maladaptive Daydreaming" but I have serious problems with maladapative daydreaming, and whilst writing this post I see someone else has mentioned it before. I also have intrusive thoughts and distorted cognitions as well.

How could I have never heard of it?

Do you have problems with it? What do you do to work to fix yourself?
what is 'maladaptive day dreaming'?
 
Maladaptive day dreaming is a big area. It is like having another story going in your head at the same time as your life, or instead of your life. You imagine things in your mind.

Hopefully that helps @Survivor3?
 
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