Do You Let People Take Advantage Of You?

[Changing4Best]

Do You Let People Take Advantage of You?

I have these quasi neighbor/ friends of mine that keep borrowing money from me. They always pay me back, so I keep lending them money. However, this time he is out of town and she has been sick and so I have had to wait for the $60.00 to be returned to me for quite some time now, I think a couple to three weeks. Usually they pay me back within the week, so I asked today and she said I would have to wait until Tuesday.

I am a bit put out by this, don't get me wrong, I have enough money to get by for the month and all that (I loaned them the money out of my savings). It just seems to me that she is getting laxer and laxer about how long she is taking to pay me back. Her husband was much more timely in paying me back than she seems to be.

They have done things for me, like fix my computer up when I got a virus and stuff like that, and they have never charged me to do that kind of thing, though they charge others $100.00 for something like that, so I am grateful.

I just think I am being a bit too lax on them about this money. What if I really needed the money? Yet I don't have the guts to come right out and say that I would like the money to be paid back today, while she is out, which she just told me she was.

Am I being too sensitive, or am I being too lax with them because I depend upon them so concerning my computer?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Probably put the brakes on loaning them money after this one would be a good idea. You do not want to lose your friends over this, I lost a friend over the same thing along time ago.

It sounds like they are good people yet if they are being lazy and taking advantage of your good nature, it is time to put on the breaks and tell them that you no longer feel comfortable loaning out money anymore because you need it.

 

[StarChild]

Are these the same neighbours, that let you use their computer, when your internet was down in July?

 

[Ronin]

If you're uncomfortable with how they return the money, don't lend them the money, & instead use it to gain computer services / net access that you need options.

 

[Deleted member 541]

I've learned over the years, that when you "loan" people money. DON'T expect it back. That way you don't get upset when they screw you over. I stopped loaning people $$, I just say, no! No, is a complete sentence!!!!

 

[Gadgie]

Many years ago, when I was a stubby (subcontractor employed for duration of project) along with many others, there was an army of us. This was before banks had ATM machines, if we needed to borrow money, we would give the lender something made of gold, as security.

(For welders, it was usually a gold neck chain, for other trades it was a watch or a ring) We would get the item back when we repaid the loan, as in those days we were paid our "living away" expenses in cash.

It wasn't that we didn't trust each other, but being subbies, we were always on the move, it was just for insurance in a way, and it stopped bad feelings and any hassle.

 

[Changing4Best]

No, it was a different neighbor that let me use her computer. These folks and I used to share their wifi, they paid and I simply was allowed to use it as their friend and neighbor. I probably saved online service fees for at least a year by their generosity. However, when they fell on hard times, they could no longer afford to have wifi, and also their modem got burned out, so I could not even offer to pay it for us! They have been good to me in so many ways, it is just lately that they have been slow about repaying loaned money. I hate to say, "No." to them, as I have no one to turn to, to take care of my computer, should I get on bad terms with them for some reason. The last guy who worked on my computer before them said he put anti-virus software into it, but didn't! They discovered this, when working on my computer. They searched the whole computer to take out the anti-virus software that was supposedly in it, so that they could add Norton for me, and there was no anti-virus software in the computer at all! That other guy is the only other computer tech in the area besides these neighbors of mine. I live way out in the mountains and computer techs are very hard to come by here. There is a company 12 miles from here that works on desktops, but no laptops. I own a laptop. So I depend upon these friend/ neighbors. That is the problem! My hands are kind of tied.... so I am feeling put upon. On the other hand, he just got a really good job, driving a truck, so they may not have to borrow from me ever again, maybe, we shall see....

 

[illusionist]

Why don't you agree that you pay for any help with the computer in future....that way, you don't feel you are held to randsom....with that dealt with, you can ask for repayments without conscience.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Sheila, if you used their wi fi for an entire year they may be feeling taken advantage of a good topic to bring up with them. I agree with @illusionist that offering to pay for their services when they help you with your computer is a good idea.

 

[Gadgie]

You could do one of them on line computer courses, you will be surprised just how quickly you can learn from that.

When my stepson stopped coming here, I had to learn a lot of techy stuff myself, so that I could manage my own computer. I picked up a lot of useful stuff by reading a lot of questions and answers in the comouteractive web site, in their forum pages. As my stepson always used to fix my computer.

I can now do stuff that I never thought that I would be able to do, and I feel more independent.

I know it can be awkward when it comes to lending money to friends, and it can cause a lot of bad feelings and end good friend ships. Sometimes a friendly reminder can cause bad feelings, which makes even more awkward for you.

If you do ever lend them money again, maybe you should set a pay back date in advance, I hope things work out good for you.

 

[Ronin]

I've learned over the years, that when you "loan" people money. DON'T expect it back.

^ And this.

 

[illusionist]

I'm reminded of someone telling me many years ago " don't give out what you can't afford to lose "