Do You Let People Take Advantage Of You?

[lostforgottensoul]

Do You Let People Take Advantage of You?

ALL OF THE TIME!!!

This is a HUGE issue for me. My ex roomates turned my house into a crack house, sold drugs out of it, stole a shit ton of my medications, 3 times, shoplifted LOADS of stuff in my car (without my knowledge until we were driving home), owes me over a grand in rent. I could go on.

I finally was able to kick them out (tried 3 times and the mulipulated me, talked their way to not be kicked out). They mulipulated me every day. After being kicked out I still helped them and one of them (a couple) moved back in when they couldn't be together legally with an ankle bracelet. I couldn't stand to see her camped out outside of my porch in the freezing cold. Though its Florida, it does get cold here at times.

I can go on. My step mom also takes advantage of my hyper empathy. She's an opioid addict as well. Her drug is pain pills, the ex roomates were full blown herion addicts.

I have issues laying boundries and my therapist and I worked on it for a few yrs with the ex roomates and over 2 yrs for my dad and step mom. We work on it as indiviudal situations and I learn how to set boundries as I go. I am much better at it now but for the first half of my adulthood I was a doormat for EVERYONE that wanted to step on me and take advantage of everything thing and I'd give all I had and more to anyone. Its so stupid now that i think of it. Why id do that.

Anyway, its a process. I am still taken advantage of today, i just am able to set some boundries. A few. Early in learning boundry setting but damn does it feel good when you set that first boundry and it works!

Set a timeframe of paying you back and if they miss the timeframe without speaking to you first to advise why and come to another agreement (I've done that with my dad. Like i had a timeframe of paying him back but something happened and i wouldnt have it then but would a few weeks later. I always told him and re-agreed on the new timeframe but i also have a long history of always paying money back on time) then stop loaning money.

Advise them they dont pay you back in the agreed timeframe, say, a few times in a row so you are no longer loaning them money as they dont pay it back.

 

[Netsy]

Say no! - you will feel a lot better for it next time they squeeze you for money. Theres a story... don't lend money and expect it to be paid back.... because most of the time people don't, especially if you are vulnerable and in fact they know you are soft hearted. You don't need to explain anything to anyone why you cant lend money, so when you say No cant do and if they ask why you say you need it for a movie and a box of chocolates, smile and get on this forum and say in a new thread, I said No and if feels great !

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, I asked them for a favor, to take me somewhere this morning, and she said "No." Usually she says "Yes." when I ask her to take me there (as she usually has to go too) but today she was not going herself and was not willing to take me either. I will remember this!!! (The next time they ask to borrow money).

 

[Freedomfighter]

Do You Let People Take Advantage of You?

I have these quasi neighbor/ friends of mine that keep bo...

Yeah, friends and money don't mix. If one involves money things can get nasty really quick. To offer someone friendship without involving money, rather just sharing favors like babysitting, fixing things, running errands sounds a lot better to me.

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

Do I let people take advantage of me? No. I guess I stopped putting up with that BS a long time ago. When you're an empath, you can read people. You know whether they are lying or not....

 

[Changing4Best]

Man! I wish I could read people. The trouble was, they borrowed and returned money several times before this, so it never occurred to me that they would not return this money! In fact, just last Saturday, she said that they would repay me yesterday. I have yet to hear a knock at my door or see any money. I might get lucky, or I might not. Only God knows.... right now, they are not at home. I will knock on their door tomorrow though, if I see their car in the parking lot. (He drives a truck, she often rides with him, so they are only home on weekends).