D
Deleted member 37085
Hello all. Some support, please? Last emdr session was on 1/31 and in next room dr. and I could hear a female T and her female client and client's baby (crying) and it was impossible to concentrate and do any work. And dr. just seemed to be - well scattered and unable to focus. Understandable. He asked me some for me things that were unlike him i.e. I was working on a smell (sawdust) etc. and he said, "Are you sure that is a memory?" What? Huh? (more was said about this - benign so leaving it out. Then we had to stop cascading light machine. He seemed again a bit unraveled by noise coming from wall next to where we were trying to work.
Then I mentioned about suffocation game, and he said what? I tried to remind him I'd brought this up in the last couple of minutes of previous session - however in prior session - he said that I was trying to leave and he used the word dissociate from him as I was recounting about suffocation game. And perhaps while I was trying to or was dissociating then, I thought I was talking to him re: game. Then I stumbled around with words and said something about I had more dreams (nightmares) I believed then memories. And he said that he'd understood I'd had more memories. Huh? He seemed to be distracted by noise still coming from other T's room. My friend said when other client with baby came through waiting room - this client with baby seemed very upset and even angry and she was throwing toys down on floor, and jostling baby in it's carrier (small maybe 22 mth. old baby). My friend said that woman (client) definitely seemed angry about her session.
Then my T asked me to get a jar and 3x a da fill jar with reasons I am grateful for; and I can even do reasons I feel successful for/about? I don't know who this T was this session. I actually said, "I'm upset with you." to him because I felt that he was just so all over the place, not himself, which made me feel all over the place too.
So, has anyone been doing good work in T's sessions and then have a session where everything just seemed to go south? Go wrong? LIke a puzzle with pieces not fitting? What a crap of a session 1/31 was, and I now am of course blaming myself for it, which is ridiculous, yet I am. I've been crying and crying - because another session where I was not able to feel T and I were jellin' and working well and processing this garbage inside of my brain. Please, please share any of your experiences where T sessions left you perhaps feeling like a failure? or that it was just a pile of hot poo? May I have a little, just a little encouragement that it wasn't my fault, although, again I know other T, her client and crying baby were not my fault. I just feel like me and my T were doing very poor work this 9th emdr session. Thank you for any replies from you sweet and beloved by me members new and older, alike. For I feel like such a failure at this moment. JadesJewel
Then I mentioned about suffocation game, and he said what? I tried to remind him I'd brought this up in the last couple of minutes of previous session - however in prior session - he said that I was trying to leave and he used the word dissociate from him as I was recounting about suffocation game. And perhaps while I was trying to or was dissociating then, I thought I was talking to him re: game. Then I stumbled around with words and said something about I had more dreams (nightmares) I believed then memories. And he said that he'd understood I'd had more memories. Huh? He seemed to be distracted by noise still coming from other T's room. My friend said when other client with baby came through waiting room - this client with baby seemed very upset and even angry and she was throwing toys down on floor, and jostling baby in it's carrier (small maybe 22 mth. old baby). My friend said that woman (client) definitely seemed angry about her session.
Then my T asked me to get a jar and 3x a da fill jar with reasons I am grateful for; and I can even do reasons I feel successful for/about? I don't know who this T was this session. I actually said, "I'm upset with you." to him because I felt that he was just so all over the place, not himself, which made me feel all over the place too.
So, has anyone been doing good work in T's sessions and then have a session where everything just seemed to go south? Go wrong? LIke a puzzle with pieces not fitting? What a crap of a session 1/31 was, and I now am of course blaming myself for it, which is ridiculous, yet I am. I've been crying and crying - because another session where I was not able to feel T and I were jellin' and working well and processing this garbage inside of my brain. Please, please share any of your experiences where T sessions left you perhaps feeling like a failure? or that it was just a pile of hot poo? May I have a little, just a little encouragement that it wasn't my fault, although, again I know other T, her client and crying baby were not my fault. I just feel like me and my T were doing very poor work this 9th emdr session. Thank you for any replies from you sweet and beloved by me members new and older, alike. For I feel like such a failure at this moment. JadesJewel
