Does ptsd make you verbally abusive towards others?

[Friday]

when it does (yea..I admit it may happen now and then) it's up to me to figure out why, figure out how I'm going to apologize and figure out how I'm going to prevent it from happening again.

Exactly.

 

[grit]

Personally and I can only speak from my own experience but also enough to know I am not a unicorn and not that special in this feeling, having PTSD is negative state of mind not positive or we would not be here. are there good things, only after healing and recovery but not during the suffering state/phase etc. Maybe that is the silver lining you speak of.

One of those negative states can be being abusive toward others and toward self. This may not be malicious but nevertheless, others will be hurt just as we have been hurt by others in some situations. One of the most important thing for me to recover (or maybe stay functional for a long time) was precisely because I accepted a lot of my bad states and was well aware of and hence, I did not abuse anyone but I did abuse my mind by all the clutter and noise I contained thinking this was normal way of living.

I am learning now in therapy that the way I was coping and containing myself itself was the PTSD and not how healthy people contain and also all my bad states have a meaning and were there for a good reason which I am open to accept now so I do not have to do manual self living/coping. I want to live organically not control my environment to ensure my safety anymore. because I am truly safe in the here and now and do not need to be yelling or biting or going nuts on anyone anymore. This is my process.

so when I gave analogy up there to illustrate my points, I am not saying we are all like this for sure. I am just saying the mere fact that some of us with PTSD have to manually cope and do what should be done automatically by our nervous system, may be so taxing that some people can have a running mouth or other abusive tendencies that also affect those around them.

PTSD to me is like I am controlling or aware of my blood circulation (this time the workings of my nervous system), where others who are healthier let the nervous system do its job so they can do living! that is my meaning of PTSD.

So if I simplify or offend anyone, that was not my intention. It is just easier to use simple language and analogy than write a research paper on every comment and all these comments are just opinions.

I am very sure I offended many people in the past and still do everyday while I was busy keeping my environment safe when in fact I am no longer in fighting environment.

I think sometimes people confuse PTSD and today live crisis. Of course if you are in a bad relationship where you are abusing or being abused would feel like hell but PTSD usually means what is holding you back is no longer in your environment. It is POST trauma not while one is experiencing the actual trauma - that is crisis/war etc.

Anyhow, long winded post but I apologize if I minimize anyone's coping or defense system. I was sharing what I understood and knew at the moment.

 

[Mach123]

Yes.

 

[ladee]

My answer is NO. If I am symptomatic, I try to avoid situations where I am going to get anxious or irritated. To me, it's self discipline. I am aware of what my symptoms are. If I do snap at someone, I apologize, and tell the person they did not deserve that. And leave it alone.

Getting banned will certainly make for a good lesson also !!! Just made me more aware. We are human. We say inappropriate things sometimes, but it is a wake up call to see what all is going on with me that I am not tending to.

There is NO excuse for abusing anyone for any reason. I am accountable for what I do and say. Can't and don't put it off to PTSD.

 

[EveHarrington]

I think we should start threads about how fawning (codependency) is abusive, how flight is abusive, and how freezing is abusive.

Really, I don’t think it’s fair to isolate only one of the four F’s as abusive while the other three are just PTSD reactions.

I guess all of us “fighters” are abusive asshats who drew the short straw in this disorder.

 

[Freida]

I guess all of us “fighters” are abusive asshats who drew the short straw in this disorder.

I think it gets the most notice because it's the reaction that causes the most damage. The others are difficult for supporters but I don't think they create the same stress level for them

supporters your thoughts????

 

[Friday]

I guess all of us “fighters” are abusive asshats who drew the short straw in this disorder.

I’d say it’s the lucky straw, personally. Because we have to learn self control, quickly, we also learn it can be done.

It can be done with each and every single other adrenaline response ...but without the added motivation of not wanting to be an abusive asshat, treating other people like garbage... not only does it take most people longer to learn self control, but a lot of people don’t even think it’s possible. When it very much is.

There are disorders out there where uncontrolled violence is a part of them / self control cannot be learned. Nor is there any influence of personality and choice over which way one lashes out / nor to what direction or degree. Those are disorders where courts can mandate medication, and if you don’t take your court ordered medication, be incarcerated against your will for years. Because you are a danger to yourself and others, and always will be. PTSD? Is not one of the those disorders. We can learn both emotional monitoring regulation & how to behave (how we treat ourselves and others).

Really, I don’t think it’s fair to isolate only one of the four F’s as abusive while the other three are just PTSD reactions.

There are countless other threads discussing the effect of both other symptoms and bad coping mechanisms.

Can all 4 adrenaline responses be abusive? Absolutely. Flight, especially, often includes violence against others. That’s why yelling “Fire!” In a crowded theater is illegal (if there’s isnt a fire), because people will injure -or even kill- others pushing them out of the way, trampling them, crushing them. You’re just as dead if you’ve been pushed down the stairs or into a busy street by someone running away as someone attacking you. Blind fear and blind rage are dangerous, full stop. While harder for freezing and fawning to cause injury & death, they’re infinitely more manipulative, which can easily become a pillar in systematically abusing your loved ones OR neglecting your children. But while abuse is absolutely possible, that isn’t the most likely series of problems to result.

Which is why when people are writing threads about how (F)FFF is affecting their relationship, it’s usually not in the realm of abuse, but instead about other very real problems.

Fight/Flight/Freeze/Fawn all have different problems associated with them.

Abuse & Isolation & Suicide are 3 of the most prevalent problems with the fight response.

“Fair” doesn’t mean everything is equal.

 

[Mach123]

Twice in the last 2 days I've been told I was insulting. I've written about it here at legnth. I'm good at being insulting. We have been stressed to the max. I almost didn't mind i offended the lady at Verizon they deserved it. Not her personally though. They're trained in abuse and at explaining to you why it's your fault and you deserve it. The second time, as usual, I said something and the person took it the wrong way? That's to be expected. Misinterpreting is easy in person, easier in writing.
My point being my therapist taught me not to hate myself about this so I don't. I just apologise now and try and walk away. I tell myself I'm learning and practicing and I can improve even though it still happens.

 

[grit]

I cannot believe this simple question is taking so long. The weird thing about humans is we are like water, we sort of fluid so having PTSD and many other conditions can be so ingrained that it is hard to know are you verbally abusing due to your childhood, ptsd, disorder, having a bad day, being an ass, etc.

a person who has PTSD is a person who can have many other conditions or not. In short yes, you can be abusive, end up in jail, kill your mother or father or sibling, do all bad and all good while having PTSD. There are great many scientist and philosophisers who had PtSD and there are many criminals who have ptsd.

PTSD is not by itself a thing. It is attached to a person who has brain and other ways of determining their lives.

There is never an excuse I killed cause I have PTSD or I thrived because of PTSD. There are other things in play for every human.

So IMHO, yes you can be an asshole with PTSD who yells and kills, and abuses and you can be the sweetest person in the world who suffers alone in his or her body/mind.

The question is if you are being verbally abused, what do you need to do about it for YOUR OWN SAFETY? BEFORE YOU WORRY ABOUT PUTTING THE MASK ON THE ABUSER!

 

[Deleted member 487]

Grit, when I'm verbally abused I either walk away, ignore it, or tell them to go F themselves. Yes, I have literally said just that. And when they get offended for that, I tell them "too bad!" I'm a grown man, not someone's whipping boy or foot stool. F all of them.

 

[New]

No, not to others. To myself.. yes, all the time.

 

[lovak]

When i get triggered my usual response is 'freeze and comply'.
I only get mad at my husbanf because I actually trust him. So he gets a lot of rants. I wouldnt call it verbally abusive. More... he gets the bad stuff from my moodswings.