Rodger1958
New Here
Hi everyone,
I have just been diagnosed with PTSD, and it is because of my childhood traumas. My parents would constantly argue in front of me and my sister, and then progress into physical abuse and they would beat on each other. Witnessing this terrified me and I felt trapped because I could not get away from them being so young at the time.
At school I had a hard time being around other kids because I was afraid of everyone and felt as though I was being watched by everyone which made me panic and hide. I could not get very good grades because I could not pay enough attention in class. I was always being bullied by other kids because they considered me weird or something for hiding all the time.
I finally made one friend who did not live too far away from my house, and the kid was older than me, but we clicked. I spent a night at this friends house and was restrained and raped by the kid, who then told me that he was never my friend, and that if I were to report him for what he did that he would kill me. At the time I was 10 and he was 14, and he was much bigger than me, so I believed what he said about killing me and suffered in silence never telling anyone.
This added to my already traumatised mental state, and it sent me into a deep depression and catatonic episode. I did finally recover after spending time in a psych ward, but my panic attacks were even worse than before.
As a teen I could not bring myself to hangout with other kids, go on dates, or just have fun, as I was terrified to do so.
Presently I am not able to hold down a job very long because of severe panic attacks, and my relationship with my wife is strained at times because she does not understand what is going on with me. Well, I guess thats about it for now.
I have just been diagnosed with PTSD, and it is because of my childhood traumas. My parents would constantly argue in front of me and my sister, and then progress into physical abuse and they would beat on each other. Witnessing this terrified me and I felt trapped because I could not get away from them being so young at the time.
At school I had a hard time being around other kids because I was afraid of everyone and felt as though I was being watched by everyone which made me panic and hide. I could not get very good grades because I could not pay enough attention in class. I was always being bullied by other kids because they considered me weird or something for hiding all the time.
I finally made one friend who did not live too far away from my house, and the kid was older than me, but we clicked. I spent a night at this friends house and was restrained and raped by the kid, who then told me that he was never my friend, and that if I were to report him for what he did that he would kill me. At the time I was 10 and he was 14, and he was much bigger than me, so I believed what he said about killing me and suffered in silence never telling anyone.
This added to my already traumatised mental state, and it sent me into a deep depression and catatonic episode. I did finally recover after spending time in a psych ward, but my panic attacks were even worse than before.
As a teen I could not bring myself to hangout with other kids, go on dates, or just have fun, as I was terrified to do so.
Presently I am not able to hold down a job very long because of severe panic attacks, and my relationship with my wife is strained at times because she does not understand what is going on with me. Well, I guess thats about it for now.
