A
adriftatsea
Just ranting. I think I should probably start a journal, but wanted to get this out of my head.
My husband and I are in the process of trying to put our life back together...attempted to move, didn't work, but trying again as we both have decided it's for the best.
Anyways, on top of all the stress from him being ill with a reaction to a medication, the move/attempting to move again, the holidays, and currently living with his mother...I really didn't think things could get worse. But they have. My mom and my hubby got into a fight at Christmas dinner as we were leaving. The day had went pretty well and the dinner had gone smoothly, until my mom started going on about us moving (she has GAD/her own issues and is having a hard time coping with the thought of me being further than 10 minutes from her). After that, we found out his grandma was admitted to the hospital Christmas day, and the very next day found out she has pancreatic cancer and either has 2 weeks to live if she chooses not to get this stent put in, or 6 months to live if she chooses the surgery for the stent to prolong her life.
On top of allllllllll of that, my husband has had no contact with his dad's side of the family for a little over a year. They're toxic and not healthy for him to be around at all. So to try to start healing from them, he's cut them out. Other than his dad trying to contact his mom on a few occasions, it has been okay. Until today. His step-mom called him and then texted him and asked if this was still his number. Of course he didn't answer or respond, but it has triggered and really overflowed his stress cup. I've asked him about blocking their numbers, but he wasn't ready to talk about it. He just needed some space and went to lay in bed. They currently don't know where we live, but I know that is no help when his irrational side of his brain is flooded with all the emotions/fear from the attempt at contact.
I just don't know how he's supposed to deal with all of this. I can only support so much and it just seems like life keeps throwing stuff our way every time we/he attempts to stand back up and get on our feet. I know life isn't fair and I don't expect things to ever be perfect or go our way, but can't we just get a break somewhere?
Anyways, it just amazes me what he goes through or has to battle in his head everyday on a 'normal' day, but to have everything else thrown on top, I wish I could tell him just how amazing of a person he is without him telling me he's not. Or I wish I could just take away some of the pain for him to make his burden a little lighter. Blah
My husband and I are in the process of trying to put our life back together...attempted to move, didn't work, but trying again as we both have decided it's for the best.
Anyways, on top of all the stress from him being ill with a reaction to a medication, the move/attempting to move again, the holidays, and currently living with his mother...I really didn't think things could get worse. But they have. My mom and my hubby got into a fight at Christmas dinner as we were leaving. The day had went pretty well and the dinner had gone smoothly, until my mom started going on about us moving (she has GAD/her own issues and is having a hard time coping with the thought of me being further than 10 minutes from her). After that, we found out his grandma was admitted to the hospital Christmas day, and the very next day found out she has pancreatic cancer and either has 2 weeks to live if she chooses not to get this stent put in, or 6 months to live if she chooses the surgery for the stent to prolong her life.
On top of allllllllll of that, my husband has had no contact with his dad's side of the family for a little over a year. They're toxic and not healthy for him to be around at all. So to try to start healing from them, he's cut them out. Other than his dad trying to contact his mom on a few occasions, it has been okay. Until today. His step-mom called him and then texted him and asked if this was still his number. Of course he didn't answer or respond, but it has triggered and really overflowed his stress cup. I've asked him about blocking their numbers, but he wasn't ready to talk about it. He just needed some space and went to lay in bed. They currently don't know where we live, but I know that is no help when his irrational side of his brain is flooded with all the emotions/fear from the attempt at contact.
I just don't know how he's supposed to deal with all of this. I can only support so much and it just seems like life keeps throwing stuff our way every time we/he attempts to stand back up and get on our feet. I know life isn't fair and I don't expect things to ever be perfect or go our way, but can't we just get a break somewhere?
Anyways, it just amazes me what he goes through or has to battle in his head everyday on a 'normal' day, but to have everything else thrown on top, I wish I could tell him just how amazing of a person he is without him telling me he's not. Or I wish I could just take away some of the pain for him to make his burden a little lighter. Blah
