Emerg Services Double The Fun

[Stacieamy]

So, I recently met a man and we clicked immediately. We can talk like we've been friends for years. We have a LOT in common. One of those things is PTSD. His is combat related. Mine is cumulative with more than one instance of MST. Different sources, but very similar behaviors and ways of thinking.
We met online and talked during all of our free time for a week. Then we met and there was tension, both from the unknown and sexual tension. The date lasted a long time, had some embarrassing things, but when I asked him what he thought, he said that he definitely is interested in me and I am in him. That was a week ago. Over the past week, communication has drifted off. We did have a serious talk about my insecurities and how I was thinking and feeling. He said that it's the same for him. This made me feel a lot better because I totally expected him to run.
But, other than that convo, communication has almost ceased.
I don't want to hound him because I'm worried, but I am lost. I do realize that it's been a short time span, but the sudden 360 has thrown me.
I'm thinking that just leaving him alone and leaving the ball in his court is the best thing to do. But, this constant anxiety, worry, and strong desire to see him is driving me insane.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

Boy, I wish I knew the answer to this question. I can only say that in my own situation, when I start isolating I can't reach out to anyone. If they don't contact me, then there's no contact at all. Even then, I sometimes find it very difficult to respond, even when I appreciate their attempts. I feel too drained or overwhelmed to even make the effort.

So, no advice, sorry, just a different perspective. Good luck with it. I hope it goes well for you. :hug:

 

[Justmehere]

I would suggest asking him why communication dropped off, in a non-pressured way, before assuming why it has dropped off. Or, perhaps even better, communicating that you like to chat more often. See what happens.

As for the anxiety, that makes sense to me. I get anxious and confused with sudden changes in level of contact and communication, especially when I don't know why. Try connecting to other relationships and using grounding and mindfulness to manage the anxiety as much as you can. It is still hard though.

I think if the two of you can establish a means of communicating that this is a time of isolation and when the isolating party can reconnect again, it might help. I usually tell people I date, "hey PTSD symptoms flaring, need some time to myself, I'll do my best to connect in ----- hours/days." The other side usually days they feel less anxious and abandoned, and the relationship stays on track better.

 

[Stacieamy]

Boy, I wish I knew the answer to this question. I can only say that in my own situation, when I st...

Saw my therapist today. She helped a lot, as she always does.

 

[Deleted member 33052]

That's great! Did she advise you on how to approach this?

 

[Stacieamy]

I would suggest asking him why communication dropped off, in a non-pressured way, before assuming wh...

That's really good advice, actually. Thank you.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Ah yes...the classic flash in the pan...I've had a lot of those.. It sucks..but, when those events happen, realize that the other person wasn't worthy of your attention & affection to begin with.