Double The Sessions Double The Return Of Symptoms!

[Srain]

I can be so naive, I decided to double up my sessions because in between I was I having such a difficult time that I felt I might as well see my tdoc and get more support at this time. What is happening is I'm experiencing in the realization that I had actually been having a decrease in symptoms without knowing it and the only way I know this is because now they are noticeably worse.

In my last session with her I felt terror in losing myself of checking out again mentally. The odd thing is it's not been that long ago I lived like that non-stop. I had spurts of time where I was "okay" but they didn't last long, somehow this seems different BUT I worry I'm deceiving myself. I disappeared while in our session at one point, felt the shut down after a moment due to fear, then shook off what we had been talking about, deciding to control the session so I felt some control. She didn't call me on it but we both knew why I did it. I needed to get through to dealing with the elephant in the room.

It was difficult and time didn't allow me to do all that needed to be done but I slammed the door on it towards the end of the session and gratefully I don't have to address it again until next week. However, the rest of the day was difficult, even with the help of my husband, I could feel the nightmare inside me screaming. My eyesight is a mess, the noise is relentless in my head, I ache like I've been beaten from head to foot, and nightmares are unstoppable. Just like the old days.

I'm holding on to what she said that I won't go back, I'm working on things, I won't get lost again. I am doing everything I can to keep going but wow, breathing is always the hardest, no?

Rain

 

[Reclusive]

Hang in there, Rain. As long as you're breathing, you're doing alright. It sounds to me like what may have happened is that you hit upon a stone that's been unturned and unacknowledged, so even without the doubling of the sessions, you would be going through this at one time or another. Just keep moving forward, one baby step at a time. You can do this, I know you can, and you'll come out healthier and stronger as a result. Just keep breathing and stepping forward.

 

[Gloria]

Everyone who has any kind of emotional problems has two choices - to try to face these problems and get over it or not deal with it and hope it goes away. Most people refuse to go to therapy. The sickest people out there aren't the ones that are seeking help. I go twice a week to my therapist. It's facing your demons that is the bravest thing to do. I admire for doing that. Hang in there, things get better.
Hugs!
Gloria

 

[kimba]

I'm currently going twice a week as well and actually had to take a day off to just get away from it all. I gave myself permission to do anything not related to trying to figure out what is really going on (no reading books or on websites related to symptoms etc.) and just veg. It was nice!