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Yep, totally get that. I just keep hoping that if I repeat the theory to myself often enough then eventually putting it into practice will come easier.
Hope you manage to get something of a restful day.
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Drinking And Flashbacks
- Post starter Jane.l
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Hope you manage to get something of a restful day.
- Post starter
- #14
The trouble with drinking, for me, is that too much of it and my hangover is deep depression. I'm a sobbing mess the next day. I have to say, though, I did start drinking a lot of red wine after my mother died. Basically, I went from drinking a few times a year to drinking every night. I never blacked out, except I think the night before her services. I could drink almost a bottle a night. My cardiologist told me that yes, one glass of wine is good, but, really, more then that can be toxic to the heart. So I cut down to about a glass or two a night. There have been times I've gone weeks without, then I start up again. I'm not even sure why I do it now, since the stress is not there as much. Somehow it brings a comfort to me. I really should stop, but I'm not ready to. So I understand your predicament.
My therapist recommended one time just dumping the wine down the drain. I didn't do that, as I thought it was a waste, but I did finish it and not buy any for some time. Just until I felt in control again.
I wish I had some good advice to give you, but I agree that you are going to really want to stop. There are other alternatives, as mentioned above, that sound healthier. I should take them to heart too.
My therapist recommended one time just dumping the wine down the drain. I didn't do that, as I thought it was a waste, but I did finish it and not buy any for some time. Just until I felt in control again.
I wish I had some good advice to give you, but I agree that you are going to really want to stop. There are other alternatives, as mentioned above, that sound healthier. I should take them to heart too.
D
Deleted member 1860
@Jane.I,
I don't know where you live, but in the states, if you go to a doctor and say "I want benzodiazepines", you may very well be labeled as drug seeking and flat out denied. Coupled with the fact that you're already engaging in an addictive behavior (substance), I don't think any doctor who truly cares about their patients would give benzodiazepines to someone who is abusing alcohol. They could easily be set up for a future lawsuit.
If you weren't abusing alcohol, then an as needed benzodiazepine might not be a bad idea. But you are abusing alcohol, and as such it would be like adding fuel to the fire.
I don't know where you live, but in the states, if you go to a doctor and say "I want benzodiazepines", you may very well be labeled as drug seeking and flat out denied. Coupled with the fact that you're already engaging in an addictive behavior (substance), I don't think any doctor who truly cares about their patients would give benzodiazepines to someone who is abusing alcohol. They could easily be set up for a future lawsuit.
If you weren't abusing alcohol, then an as needed benzodiazepine might not be a bad idea. But you are abusing alcohol, and as such it would be like adding fuel to the fire.
cherryblossom
VIP Member
As Solara has pointed out, if you go to your doctor saying "I want benzodiazepines", then alarm bells will be ringing, but I'm not sure that's the approach many people would go for.
However, if you see the doctor and explain your issues, the doctor may well prescribe a benzodiazepine. I know in the UK, they are (usually diazapam) prescribed to people using and abusing alcohol, who want to stop, in order to help the individual deal with both the alcohol withdrawal and the underlying anxiety surrounding the alcohol abuse. However, both you and your doctor would have to closely monitor your situation, because it would become easy to use both and add to your problems.
I hate to have to say this, but while you are using alcohol in this way, your progress in therapy will be hugely affected. It just doesn't work if you are using alcohol to numb the pain and hide from the emotions that therapy brings up. That's why therapy is so damn difficult. It brings up all these memories and emotions that we don't want to, or feel that we can't deal with. But if you ride it out, accept that you're going to feel completely dreadful while you process this stuff, and don't negatively react by using alcohol or some other unhealthy coping mechanism, then it does get easier.
Honestly, I think you have too much going on right now to be dealing with tough stuff in therapy. Don't underestimate how difficult therapy is. But for it to be successful, you kind of need not to be too stressed out by other things in your life. I think you are overloading yourself, and being too hard on yourself. I think you need some more stability before you continue dealing with tough stuff in therapy. Move house, get used to time alone, look at resolving your alcohol issues. Once you feel more settled, then deal with tough stuff in therapy. We can all only deal with so many things at once, trying to deal with so much is just setting yourself up for a fall. The alcohol use is a sure sign that everything is getting on top of you. It's just my opinion, but I think you just need to stop and take a breath.
However, if you see the doctor and explain your issues, the doctor may well prescribe a benzodiazepine. I know in the UK, they are (usually diazapam) prescribed to people using and abusing alcohol, who want to stop, in order to help the individual deal with both the alcohol withdrawal and the underlying anxiety surrounding the alcohol abuse. However, both you and your doctor would have to closely monitor your situation, because it would become easy to use both and add to your problems.
I hate to have to say this, but while you are using alcohol in this way, your progress in therapy will be hugely affected. It just doesn't work if you are using alcohol to numb the pain and hide from the emotions that therapy brings up. That's why therapy is so damn difficult. It brings up all these memories and emotions that we don't want to, or feel that we can't deal with. But if you ride it out, accept that you're going to feel completely dreadful while you process this stuff, and don't negatively react by using alcohol or some other unhealthy coping mechanism, then it does get easier.
Honestly, I think you have too much going on right now to be dealing with tough stuff in therapy. Don't underestimate how difficult therapy is. But for it to be successful, you kind of need not to be too stressed out by other things in your life. I think you are overloading yourself, and being too hard on yourself. I think you need some more stability before you continue dealing with tough stuff in therapy. Move house, get used to time alone, look at resolving your alcohol issues. Once you feel more settled, then deal with tough stuff in therapy. We can all only deal with so many things at once, trying to deal with so much is just setting yourself up for a fall. The alcohol use is a sure sign that everything is getting on top of you. It's just my opinion, but I think you just need to stop and take a breath.
- Post starter
- #18
@cherryblossom thank you for your reply, I think you are right, I cope for a little while and then it just all gets too much. I am only just starting to experience emotions and I get very freaked out by them, I don't know what emotions I am feeling I just know its making me feel bad.
We were trying to sort the nightmares hoping that I would get more sleep so that I could maybe handle things better without the drink but its a vicious circle and there seems no good place to break it.
But I agree I need to maybe take this a little slower. Thank you
We were trying to sort the nightmares hoping that I would get more sleep so that I could maybe handle things better without the drink but its a vicious circle and there seems no good place to break it.
But I agree I need to maybe take this a little slower. Thank you
Footie freak
Bronze Member
Cherry blossom is right, you don't go to your GP and say what you want drug wise..... You have to explain how you are feeling, what are the issues causing the feeling etc... Any decent GP will want to help you, with or without the help of drugs. Be honest in how you feel mentally and physically to yourself and the GP - it is the best way forward.
Good luck
Good luck
- Post starter
- #20
Thank you - but I have to say I would find it very hard to talk honestly to a GP - I am a very guarded person and I have massive trust issues and I would not be able to discuss this with a doctor. Having said that one of the doctors at our surgery is aware of my problems because my husband ( who I am separating from) has told him !!!!'but he has children in the same class as my daughter and I now cringe everytime I see him !!!!
Hi Jane,
I could have written much of this. Especially the blackouts - I'm hearing you! I have been prescribed mild sleep meds and they do stop the dreams and the decent sleep does help with coping. And when I cope better I am less likely to reach for the bottle. I am also absolutely not going to take the sleep med when I've been drinking because doc told me that is a major no no. Having the sleep meds is ... sometimes, um, thought provoking... as in I could use these in a bad way (but I don't and I won't). They do help. I need to start taking my own advice again. I hope that the next week or so pans out not so badly. Go easy on yourself and acknowledge how fast your life's pace is moving right now.
I think you should bear in mind the issues you've acknowledged, don't put pressure on yourself but try to go easy on the drinking while you get stabilised and then deal with it with T. My T made me sign an alcohol contract with him, saying how much I was allowed to drink in a week otherwise we wouldn't be able to do any work that week. I thought this was a load of baloney but...it has worked pretty well (give or take a week ;)) Each week he asks me how much I've had and I don't want to lie to him. Maybe you could talk to your T about something like that?
I could have written much of this. Especially the blackouts - I'm hearing you! I have been prescribed mild sleep meds and they do stop the dreams and the decent sleep does help with coping. And when I cope better I am less likely to reach for the bottle. I am also absolutely not going to take the sleep med when I've been drinking because doc told me that is a major no no. Having the sleep meds is ... sometimes, um, thought provoking... as in I could use these in a bad way (but I don't and I won't). They do help. I need to start taking my own advice again. I hope that the next week or so pans out not so badly. Go easy on yourself and acknowledge how fast your life's pace is moving right now.
I think you should bear in mind the issues you've acknowledged, don't put pressure on yourself but try to go easy on the drinking while you get stabilised and then deal with it with T. My T made me sign an alcohol contract with him, saying how much I was allowed to drink in a week otherwise we wouldn't be able to do any work that week. I thought this was a load of baloney but...it has worked pretty well (give or take a week ;)) Each week he asks me how much I've had and I don't want to lie to him. Maybe you could talk to your T about something like that?
- Post starter
- #22
Hi Ecua
Thanks for your reply . I have plucked up the courage - last night -to email my T and tell him that I am using drink a little more that I have let on. He's been out of contact today but will get back to me. I am glad I have been able to admit this to him as weak and pathetic as it makes me feel.
I am not sure I would do well being told how much I could drink as I have a rather childish rebellious streak that would make it hard for me to stick to that and I just don't trust myself with meds at the moment - too edgy !
It is not quite as bad this week as my husband (ex) is away which does take some pressure off. My T had been working along the lines of just try and go gently with the drinking until you have moved out because you will find it too hard before - which is what you are saying too. It's all manageable when I am in this headspace but I am totally all over the place - I have no idea which way is up !!
Thanks for your reply . I have plucked up the courage - last night -to email my T and tell him that I am using drink a little more that I have let on. He's been out of contact today but will get back to me. I am glad I have been able to admit this to him as weak and pathetic as it makes me feel.
I am not sure I would do well being told how much I could drink as I have a rather childish rebellious streak that would make it hard for me to stick to that and I just don't trust myself with meds at the moment - too edgy !
It is not quite as bad this week as my husband (ex) is away which does take some pressure off. My T had been working along the lines of just try and go gently with the drinking until you have moved out because you will find it too hard before - which is what you are saying too. It's all manageable when I am in this headspace but I am totally all over the place - I have no idea which way is up !!
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Um, sorry your husband is a dick. No wonder he is soon to be ex! You deserve more than someone sharing your private stuff out there. However, most people would know that this is a breach in trust so if I had to guess the other guy is probably just as uncomfortable knowing as you are. He, as well, probably too thinks your husband is a dick. Sorry!
As for the drinking, my guess is after you move and settle some of that will subside. Living in the type of environment you are in right now is really tough. Hang in there! Do the very best you can and take care of yourself! Sorry about the dick comments. I am just sorry he isn't worthy of a nicer comment. ;)
- Post starter
- #24
@Rumors - yep I agree he is a dick - half the freaking world knows my history thanks to him . He couldn't believe that I would want to leave him so he went around telling everyone I had ptsd and why. Really helpful ! It's been the hardest of times - but I move in a week !
Still drinking and struggling but I have my T fully on board with me. We have stopped trauma work for now as I was/am just too unstable but here's hoping you are right and things settle down after the move .
New beginnings .
Still drinking and struggling but I have my T fully on board with me. We have stopped trauma work for now as I was/am just too unstable but here's hoping you are right and things settle down after the move .
New beginnings .
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