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EMDR Lashback - When EMDR Goes Wrong

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Geckowife, I am so sorry you are having these adverse reactions. Have you spoken with your therapist about what is going on with you?

I am a supporter but I work with a hypnotherapist who has expertise in trauma and ptsd. I had an adverse reaction after one of our sessions and I felt like I was not properly mentally integrated. I called her on the phone and she was able to help me right away with some grounding and some eye and body movements that did help put me back together. If you feel like you're falling apart after a therapy session, your therapist is the one who is most likely to be able to put you back together.
 
I got home and my husband was obviously concerned. It took over 8 hours before I could have a conversation that the other person understood what I was saying. Even then I felt my speech was slurred in some spots and a week later I feel like the way I formulate sentences and my sentence structure is often off or incorrect.

Today I went for my therapy session and we began EMDR again. I immediately got a massive headache and found the processing to be burdensome.

Also, I have been experiencing vertigo since thanksgiving which I now think is director related to the EMDR. I don't think I will be doing EMDR again. I am scared that it did change things in my brain. I feel upset and anxious. My head is killing me and I had to up my dose of Zoloft recently because my anxiety attacks were getting worse.

So glad I found this thread! I am experiencing something similar.

I also experienced difficulty with speech, as well as heightened anxiety and painful memories.

During the EMDR session I had yesterday, I started to feel anxious, dissociated, lightheaded, hypervigilant, and it was harder for me to speak! When I left the session I felt OK, as I had been doing well the past few days and decided I was going to keep riding on that feeling of success I had. However, that evening I had a sudden shift where I began to feel tired. A few hours later, in the middle of a good conversation with my girlfriend I felt a wave of this anxiety/sadness mixture which was very unsettling. I have spent the whole of today feeling similarly anxious, at times feeling so very anxious that I thought I would have an accident in my pants (TMI?). My phobia of insanity has been ravaging me, which is interesting because that's what I worked on in the EMDR session yesterday. All day I have been so nervous that my anxiety and sadness is the result of bipolar, not PTSD (I have never been diagnosed bipolar, only PTSD).

This evening I found again that I have difficult speaking. I was introduced by my boss to a potential new boss and I called her by my own name rather than hers! I have also had trouble concentrating. During class today I could hardly listen to a single word that was said by anybody. I was totally preoccupied by my fear of being bipolar.

Then when I got home tonight, I went to turn on the light and BAM I felt another wave of that anxiety/sadness mixture. Oddly enough, I had a nightmare a few nights ago about my brother. He had a psychotic episode (he is bipolar) last time I was home. It was a first and it terrified me for many reasons. He ran away into the city and we went looking for him but couldn't find him. At midnight he was arrested and the next day I visited him in the ER. This was the last two days of my winter break. After that I found all my PTSD emotional problems intensified. I felt more depressed, more anxious, more insecure... It was horrible.

Long story short, EMDR seems to have unleashed some of my trauma feelings and I am damn uncomfortable at the moment. Next week I will tell my therapist I want to take an indefinite hiatus from this EMDR stuff and just work on bringing myself to a level, calm state.
 
Severe multiple trauma
Complex trauma
Amnesia - considerable (years of missing memory)
Dissociation
Lack of trust

I haven't read the whole thread through. But I have to disagree with this. Since all those above things apply to me, and I'm really grateful my therapist have EMDR among all the other tools he uses to help me. Since I've been helped A LOT by EMDR in a way I think would have taken years, and years otherwise. I won't say it's not been tough at times, but there are different ways of working with EMDR; and if it's uses carefully it can really help a person with all those above stated "traits". (I don't think "only EMDR" would work though..)
 
There are some terrible stories here about therapists who don't know how to do EMDR.

I was lucky. I have a therapist who took time to establish that I had complex PTSD (mainly flashbacks and nightmares about different times/people), then he discussed the treatment, and most importantly what would work after each EMDR session to 'ground' me. He promised me he wouldn't let me leave a session until I was ready to face the outside. Occasionally I have too many recent issues and so we just chat. He is very observant and supportive.
Even though the trauma replays are difficult, and I get through a lot of tissues, the technique is working for me.Some memories took longer, one of them came back briefly but overall I am so much better.

I am shocked that any therapist would let someone leave their office while seriously affected by the treatment. And these stories so the danger of therapists who think EMDR is a simple technique.

I am sure EMDR isn't right for everyone, but with a properly trained therapist it can and does help some of us.
 
I totally agree TigB, and am so glad that you too have had a positive EMDR experience with an appropriate and ethical therapist. It saddens and maddens me too as I read of irresponsible therapists who give the intervention a bad name. I think this occurs more so with EMDR than with many other types of therapy, because the negative backlash can really be particularly bad if the process isn't managed properly, and given that there are still heated pockets of resistance to its usefulness and suitability, particularly for complex and multiple trauma, all of the bad publicity can do great damage when it is misdirected at the therapy and not the therapist/situation.

I'm not in any way invalidating the experiences of those who have suffered at the hands of faulty EMDR. I truly shudder to imagine how distressing and damaging this would be, because I know how intense and fragile the process has been for me, and I am one of the lucky ones whose therapist has acted with faultless professionalism and care throughout the entire process. So I have no trouble imagining how damaging it could be if this wasn't the case, or why people would then feel phobically opposed to EMDR.

I have truly found EMDR to be the single most impactful and effective specific therapy modality I have tried to date. It's not for everything or everyone, and it needs to be paced and phased throughout the overall therapeutic process, and I for one would never want to work with a therapist who did only EMDR. I don't think it lends itself to the entire therapy spectrum and I could never maintain the intensity week after week after week. But when timed and delivered sparingly and appropriately, it is an almost frighteningly powerful tool, for reasons that I don't fully understand, but deeply respect nonetheless.

Maddog
 
Please note this was started in 2007 when EMDR was just coming into mainstream trauma therapy. It is today one of the most effective trauma therapies. There were a lot of problems then, versus now.
 
In response to anthony's post - at the same time, on this page there are people posting in August 2012 and later about recent bad EMDR experiences, with no reference to the original posts, just using an existing thread to discuss the issues.

It may well be poor therapists or incorrect use of treatment, but whatever the reason I see the discussion as current and valid so people can be aware and know what to look for and think about.

EMDR is clearly helpful to a lot of people. Problems can still occur, and I think it's worth discussing that. The flip side of a treatment that can be very effective is that it could potentially have a big negative effect if used inappropriately. Even today, I don't think EMDR is right for everyone or without potential issues.
 
There is nothing wrong with you guys, you are all scaring yourselves just like you guys scared me. I had an intense session of emdr that left me with a bad migraine and anxiety so when I went digging as to why, I found this forum. Reading these things put me in a state of panic that was so severe I called my T right away and she agreed to see me. I told her I felt activated, re traumatized, sick and was worried about brain damage. After leaving, I felt real silly for believing I was going to be this way forever.

YES, emdr brought up a lot of things I tried to keep secret and yes, I feel worse because of it and am feeling all the symptoms described here but guess what? It's called GRiEVING. And grieving is a PROCESS that you need to allow yourself to go through.

The reason I'm not afraid this time is because after I was molested, I didn't allow myself to grieve for 3 years. I went through 3 years of being numb, hyper vigilant, de personalized, experiencing panic attacks, extreme anxiety, avoidance, etc. I was scared out of my mind every single day and didn't know why.

At the same time, I never talked to anyone about being molested. Instead, I hid it and made sure no one ever found out (I did report it to the police and he got jailtime). I needed to grieve for what that bastard did to me but never did because i was so scared of all my symptoms and the only thing i knew how to do was push it down with exercise, alcohol, and other distractions. One day, I thought about my future and I thought about how my future didnt look good with all these symptoms in my way. I could not experience joy or 'learn' new things. my surroundings never seemed familiar and i knew i could not go like this. I started to dig inside and being molested kept coming to my mind but I kept pushing it away thinking "its been 3 years, im over it!" but it kept coming and I knew I had to face it. I finally did. I told myself that I was in a safe position and once I admitted that I needed help, it hit me hard. The way I felt describes the same way you all felt after your 'bad emdr'. For 5 days straight, I did nothing but cry (I hadnt been able to cry in 3 years). I eventually had to quit my job because I became so fearful and so activated and had severe panic attacks at work. I eventually confided in my supervisor (hardest thing I ever had to do) about what I was going through and she was very supportive about it. I lost any appetite that I had and it took everything in me to eat anything. I was choking down bread and water just to sustain myself. The next 5 days, I was filled with rage and fear unlike I had ever experienced before. I found myself on the kitchen floor crying and throwing things around, punching walls and screaming (I had not felt anger in 3 years). Then, everything went blank. I could see no future, no past, just this overwhelming doom inside of me. This lasted about 3 full days and were the longest 3 days of my life. Throughout this whole process, I kept telling myself to just go with it. whatever I felt, just go with it. At this point, I thought I had fried my brain. After a few days, it felt like my brain started to organize itself back together. I started to feel severe anxiety, still could not eat but i could FEEL something and that kept me going. Feeling the anxiety sucked but it was better than feeling nothing. The anxiety lessened after about a week (finally) and my appetite started coming back slowly. It was around 1am that I found myself starving for Taco Bell (Luckily, it stayed open until 2) and that was when I first realized I was making good progress. Eventually, i started to crave peoples love and attention (something I had forgotten how to do) and wanted to feel love and be loved in returned. During this time, my brain felt like it was being zapped together. This prickly feeling kept coming and going but I thought it was a good sign, that things were finally coming back on. And after that, my symptoms went away.

This was when i sought the help of an EMDR therapist to question what the hell it was that i went through. I also started to read upon Peter Levines work "Waking the Tiger" which validated what I had gone through (deactivating the 'freeze' response).

I hadnt felt anxiety or panic attacks until my latest EMDR session and when I came to this forum to read what you all had been through and felt intensely panicked at the thought of a another 3 years of going through that torture and I'm here to tell you guys that you guys are DOING THIS TO YOURSELF. Your therapist is NOT there to 'fix' you, you guys are NOT 'broken'. You guys are just scared and are placing blame because you dont know how else to explain your symptoms. STOP thinking things are going to magically get better. Things are going to be HELL if you really want to change but thats the price we pay for wanting better lives for ourselves and yes, it DOES seem to suck but its NORMAL and ITS OKAY.

I'm going through the grieving process right now and let me ask you, if the EMDR was so triggering, why was I able to calm myself down after my T reassured me? I feel sad for what the EMDR brought up, but in a half a second, I know I can push it down and have the anxiety come back IF I REJECT THE GRIEVING PROCESS like I did for so many years before. If I dont allow myself time to relax and cry or become angry for the things that I lost then that is going to turn into panic and anxiety.

REALLY listen to yourselves, guys. The EMDR is going to bring up shit that you HAVE TO FACE. Think about the images you are seeing and really allow yourself to cry when you feel sad. It is not going to take a mere couple of days, grieving can take up to weeks. Confide in people, TALK about what you are going through. don't focus on the fear or the panic or the thinking "im going to be like this forever." UNDERSTAND the grieving process, read "waking the tiger" and know that what you are experiencing is NORMAL but the process cant full happen unless you allow it to happen. I know, its easier said then done but if you want to heal and get better, YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE WORK. the therapist is NOT to blame, YOU are to blame.you are only stopping yourselves by rejecting the things you have to go through.

I know its scary but you need to reach out. Talk to someone even if you dont think you have the right words to say. find someone you can cry to and force yourself to be more open about it, not just with your T but also with your boss, your friend, your co-worker, just anybody. You'd find that people are more sympathetic than you think. Yes, its embarrassing to be that open and vulnerable but it helps and it does get easier but you NEED to keep doing it!!! No one is going to tell you how to feel your emotions, that is something you have to RELEARN and teach yourself how to do.

I have alot of work to do. After my first grieving process and back to the most 'normal' i had felt since being molested, you'd think I would stop there? NO, I have multiple traumas along with childhood traumas ranging from childhood neglect, severly abusive relationship plus being molested but I trust the process and going through the grieving process is terrifying and hard but its what you gotta do. I know I still have alot of things but its one thing at a time and I dont care how long it takes. I have never taken meds for any of my symptoms, just had strong willpower and the desire for happiness and love and in the end, it is all paying off.

Stay focused on what you are trying to grieve for and really listen to what you need whether its to cry for 5 hours a day, to rage for a a week, but just trust yourself that you will be okay. these things wont kill you, your just freaking yourselves out AND you guys are scaring other people!!!!

Like I said, for those who are saying the EMDR brought on symptoms that lasted for 6 years and so on its because they are still denying or hiding something they are supposed to face and they think that meds or their therapist is supposed to push a magic button and make it all dissappear and its even scarier when you hear those cases of people reporting these bad experiences and placing blame on the process or the therapist when its THEMSELVES they need to look at if they want to get better.

DO the work. You won't regret it.

I will be continuing the EMDR but only until I am completely sure I am done grieving over whatever the last EMDR session brought up.
 
I did the research on whether EMDR would work for me or not and I found it would be complicated. I found the counselors that were advising me to try it...had only the basic education they get in college. I contacted Dr. Shapiro's office and discussed this with her assistant. I told them, in depth, what I have been dealing with and they agreed that it would take an advanced practitioner to do it safely. I had to argue with two counselor, a judge and my probation officer until I dared them to revoke my probation over this. Revoke it, and if it turns out I'm right...let's just say my further comment almost got it revoked. People think that just because someone has schooling in an area that it somehow makes them an expert. That is so untrue. Some people just don't get it. And it's almost always those whose life is not in the balance.
 
It's absolutely important to get someone with enough of the right kind of experience to walk down that road with you. I will say however that in order to get certified to even use EMDR in a therapeutic setting, you have to already have an advanced degree or certification in counseling. The training and certification process is not brief either.

There is evidence that one of the most important things in the therapeutic relationship is the trust and quality of the relationship. Find someone with experience, and find someone you can trust, to the extent that you can trust.
 
I don't have the time right now to read the whole thread, but I swear EMDR gave me a psychotic break. Has anyone else ever experienced this? I never had PTSD until AFTER that break. I refuse to ever go near it again.
 
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