EMDR Lashback - When EMDR Goes Wrong

[Sam70]

Anthony,
I had EMDR with a senior EMDR therapist who was also a trainer for 11+ years. She was recommended as the best of the best. Yet, things still went wrong. And she said she didn't know why. I didn't know I had complex PTSD OR DID at the time and neither did she. It came out later, after the EMDR. Not until I was 30 years old did I remember what had happened to me.

 

[Sam70]

The flipside of this coin, is that if the client does not disclose it in the first place, then it can't be ascertained as a dormant issue or not. There is nothing you can do about that scenario, other than continue going forward, accepting that any type of trauma therapy is going to make things much much worse initially, before getting better. That is trauma therapy. If you think anything less, then you had false representations going into it.

But you own your history, not the therapist. You don't disclose, how is anyone supposed to know?

There are always two sides to any story, and we must view both, as well as own any of our own shortfalls, not just blame another for something we control.

A therapist can ask us, have we experienced any prior traumatic events in life? If you answer, no, then we now own anything that comes up as being forgotten about, suppressed, etc, and that is just part of trauma therapy.

Anthony,

Sometimes the client doesn't know, as in my case. I didn't know about my traumas until I was 30 years old. They started to come out after I had EMDR. I agree with Jettrav, a FULL, COMPREHENSIVE questioning and/or testing of the client's history should be performed. Even then, who knows if you can attain all information, as in my case. I had flashbacks for years after EMDR of things that I had repressed since a child.

 

[anthony]

Yes, I absolutely agree with you... the client can have repressed memories. No doubt about it. Saying that, the moment the therapist views the client showing repressed memories, ie. something that was not disclosed, they should also cease immediately and go back to the initial interviewing stage to explore the new information before continuing.

So yes... I absolutely agree. It is not always one way or the other, there are many variable in the therapy equation, and regardless which type used, they can all provoke repressed memories.

Once the information is ascertained though, then there also should be no reason to not continue with therapy then.

What you say about the memories coming out over years... whilst you suffer those consequences, it also means the therapy is doing its job, as everything is coming up to be dealt with as your brain is ready to deal with it, ie. flashbacks are producing memories, thoughts are beginning to popup during your days, etc. All these repressed memories are what has been hurting you, and unfortunately, it is painful for anyone to endure, but we must endure nonetheless in order to heal.

Well done Sam on your situation... if reading correctly, you have continued to progress with your healing and not let your history knock you down. Well done.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Bec---happened to me, all right. I had about 2 sessions and was totally trapped in trauma for almost a week. It was HORRIBLE. So bad the T came over to my house!! She was just learning. She thought I had a seizure but reading this, I think she was more uneducated about how to performEMDR. She had a good heart but.............

 

[moondust]

I have had a lot of EMDR. I have also had several complications(eg. my memories not being as vivid and some problems with functioning.) The therapy made me highly disociative. I would not recomend this therapy to anyone who gets benefit from CBT. I also had a lot of transference with my therapist. This aspect made it difficult for me to tell her I no longer wanted the EMDR. I was not warned about the dangers of the therapy before it was given to me. I wish I never had it.
Moondust

 

[OKRADLAK]

Moondust--

Can you explain transferance? I keep hearing it. Is it where you transfer your issues onto the T.? And why do they want it to happen? I would think it would be dangerous--

I know Freud thought it good but not Jung?? Is it good again?

I do not know if I have ever had it because it is hard for me to trust.

 

[anthony]

Transference is not about wanting anything... its about it happening by becoming too involved in someone else's feelings and personality.

Just by being a therapist, and listening to others problems all day, every day, a degree of others problems will reflect negatively upon them. It could be a client who happens to resinate something from the therapists own experiences, it could simply be that they are a sympathetic person and get too involved in clients matters. Its not uncommon that therapists need therapy to just release their own problems due to listening to everyone else's. Because a therapist may say or tell you the right things, that does not mean they agree with you or believe you... and they equally have frustrating and difficult clients who cause negativity within them. At the worst spectrum, some therapists endup with PTSD due to transference.

It also goes the other way from therapist to client, being transference is where the therapist puts their view onto the client, and uses their personal beliefs on a client who is emotionally unstable and will trust anything they say. A therapist is a position of power within each session, and one that comes with trust. No different than doctor patient, nurse patient, etc. There are people who abuse the position of trust, and use their skills to manipulate those emotionally fragile clients to how they want them to be... it could be for sex, it could be some psychopathic tendency off getting them to kill their spouse or such, even themselves. It has all been done before.

Basically, it is all about taking on the others views, traits or emotions.... big no-no.

 

[moondust]

Anthony is right about transference. Basically developed to many feelings to fast for the therapist. I did what she told me to do. Some amount of transference is necessary for sucessful therapy but when it goes to far it can be very unhealthy for the client. This has never happened to me before but I feel betrayed because I shared to much infromation and had to much therapy because I could no tell her no because I felt to varunable. The therapy was harmful as a result.

 

[OKRADLAK]

Oh! Then I guess it has happened to me. I think in a fragile state it might be hard to not have it happen. I have always been more suspicious as a result of my problems, so I have been on guard, but there were indeed a few where the entanglement I think went both ways. Kind of scary to look back because at one time I believed in certain viewpoints and my T at the time kept telling me how idiotic they were until, weirdly enough, I actually DID start to take on HER VIEWS. Then she wanted to write a book with me.

I like my new T, but I will certainly be on my guard. I do tend to give too much info but it is rather crytpic because it's hard for me to sit there and communicate anyway!!

Thanks for the info!!

 

[Sam70]

What you say about the memories coming out over years... whilst you suffer those consequences, it also means the therapy is doing its job, as everything is coming up to be dealt with as your brain is ready to deal with it, ie. flashbacks are producing memories, thoughts are beginning to popup during your days, etc. All these repressed memories are what has been hurting you, and unfortunately, it is painful for anyone to endure, but we must endure nonetheless in order to heal.

Well done Sam on your situation... if reading correctly, you have continued to progress with your healing and not let your history knock you down. Well done.

Anthony,

Thank you for your support. Unfortunately, I wish I could say I am at a level of healing that I am a functioning member of society. This is not the case, sadly. I am still disabled and unable to work. I developed seizures after the EMDR and still have them to this day, along with other symptoms. Although I have come a long way, I have lost a lot.

 

[anthony]

Sam, its not really about what we have lost though, its about what we have gained now, presently.

I have still lost overall with PTSD, everyone and anyone with PTSD had to have lost something from who they where, to who they are now. I still can't function the same as I used too prior to PTSD, but I can function to atleast live life far better than I was when allowing PTSD to control me totally.

Honestly, IMO, you should stick with the "I have come a long way"... and use that to continue your growth in a positive direction.

I am sorry you have seizures due to therapy, but it does happen, though doesn't mean they are for life. Now vs. future are very different things. Fighting PTSD is a constant daily battle, no doubt about it. Some give up, some fight to improve and typically achieve that aim, some stagnate and remain within the PTSD destructive cycle. None of us wanted PTSD, but we have it... so now we choose what we do with it.

In Australia, PTSD is the only illness that is deemed equivalent to losing a limb by the Australian Government. The reason is due to the severity and its life long, ie. a limb isn't go to grow back either. I relate to this often on when you watch someone who has lost an arm/s, leg/s, etc, they relearn how to function with what they got, not dwell on what they had. Life now has changed for them, and that is what we must accept. We have PTSD, we have severe dysfunction, but we choose to keep trying and going forward, constantly evaluating our negatives and progressively swapping them out for new positives, or we stagnate and self destruct, either leading to a life of alcholism and medication to dull the pain, or suicide to end it.

There is no right choice overall... because its individual for us all.

What I will reinforce though, is that you admit you have come a long way, which means you are actively choosing to improve... well done. Whilst it may be slow, it is progressive, and with constant work it only continues to improve. Yes, we all have downward cycles, but they pass and we continue where we were, not where we originally began.

Just keep up the great self work please, because you are proving to yourself you have positively changed, and there is no reason to not continue that self work.

 

[Iam]

Thanks Anthony. I know you wrote that for Sam, but boy did I need to hear it today!