Emdr: Questions/comments From An Emdr Therapist Who Also Has Ptsd

[orangeweezel]

Hello everyone,

I have my master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (and work in a group practice) and I am trained to use EMDR. With my own history of trauma, and all the depth of knowledge that entails, working with clients to support them healing their trauma has been my most meaningful work. It's such a sacred privilege to be invited into the darkness and pain of peoples' hearts. Something extremely important to me in my work is to continually learn how I can be better. I want to know what I may be doing to inadvertently hurt others (since sharing so in session may be too vulnerable) and what I can do to become more safe, and more helpful. Safety is always my number 1 concern in my work with clients.

I have read many of the posts on this site, and wanted to create one of my own to help with my learning, and possibly to answer any questions any of you might have for me.

Based on a few of the posts I've read, I wanted to suggest to anyone starting (or interested in starting) EMDR, that you would question your therapist's training. I know of certain training sites which offer short and incomplete training to therapists where they believe they are prepared to use EMDR after only about 6 hours. Just as a comparison, my EMDR training has been over 50 hours so far. We are ethically supposed to answer questions about our training and where we received it, so don't be afraid to ask. The main organization (EMDRIA) gives training with very specific requirements.

I have personally heard many people share about bad "EMDR" experiences, only to hear the way the therapist used the intervention improperly. With my own knowledge, I occasionally notice my own T operating in a way that isn't according to the protocol, so I'm sure it's incredibly common.

This is just a start, but I thought it would be important to share insight with those of you here, feeling like I'm in a unique spot, being both a PTSD sufferer, and a therapist. Please feel free to ask me any questions you may have, and if not, my question for you would be:

If you could anonymously tell or ask your EMDR therapist anything, what would be it?

Thank you in advance for your replies!

 

[KRM]

Hello everyone,

I have my master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy (and work in a group pra...

I think it is wonderful you are asking! I think it is hard for patients in need to question ANYTHING from an authority figure when they are so desperate for help. It seems everyone has the answer even before they have gotten to know you. I think offering this information somehow up front, maybe in writing, would be good. People who are hurting physically and emotionally are very vulnerable. I just posted a bad experience around scheduling and short-notice with no good explanation. I didn't need this person enough to care if I lost him, but if I had I'd have probably just sucked it up and seethed, scared to express that.

 

[Nessa7]

I'm not considering EMDR, but I am excited about the opportunity to ask an expert my question, which is a little goofy. Whenever I go to the optometrist, I am a massive pain in the ass. I cannot handle someone going near my eyes. I have to have the nurse that holds all the kids down, and it is still a struggle. I have instictually gone to smack them away. Is this something I would need to warn a therapist about?

 

[orangeweezel]

I'm not considering EMDR, but I am excited about the opportunity to ask an expert my question, which is...

Thanks for sharing! We all have things that make us really uncomfortable, and there's usually a good reason for it. If you think it might come up in therapy at all, or if there's shame attached to that, it couldn't hurt to share that with a therapist. It doesn't sound like something that your therapist would hopefully trigger in you (unless the get too close or something like that), but I'd suggest to trust your gut on this one. If it feels important to you, it's great to have someone to share it with :)

 

[orangeweezel]

I think it is wonderful you are asking! I think it is hard for patients in need to question ANYTHING from...

Thanks for your reply! I have a follow-up question for you... If you were angry and the T brought up the incident and thoughts about how it may have hurt you or made you angry, would you be able to answer, out would that still be too vulnerable to say yes to?

Also, I personally tell my clients from the very beginning that I'm very open to feedback and questions about anything at all in our work together, wanting it to be collaborative to meet their goals. Does this type of premise help at all, or is it still just as vulnerable to ask anything?

 

[Rumors]

Personally, it helps when my t checks in and asks all the questions. Example; "you seem really anxious. Can you tell me what is going on?" I know this is stupid but, if he just asks me "are you ok?" I always say "fine."
I have had emdr as well. It was pretty scary at times and a time where I was most vulnerable. I was scared to move really. Paralyzed. Answering complex questions without someone leading me would have been difficult. The only thing I can say is reassurance that we are safe and that our feelings are normal for our experience and not letting a lifetime of silence in to the room is a good thing. When I am quiet, I am slowly sinking inside and figuring out how I can hole up and shut down. Hearing positive affirmations and support is awesome.
Good luck with everything. I would imagine your clients are thankful to have someone who cares.

 

[Hope1969]

Hi,

When do you recommend to try EMDR?

 

[rosey]

Perfect timing as i am starting emdr next monday. Very nervous but hopeful that it will ease some of my memories.

I have thoroughly checked out the therapist so all good there she is very experienced and i have every confidence in her.

My worry is the after effects of the sessions i am worried it will being out new memories and also concerned about coping between the weekly sessions. Any advice or suggestions?

 

[joeylittle]

If you could anonymously tell or ask your EMDR therapist anything, what would be it?

I would encourage them to not shy away from giving the client a brief but comprehensive overview of what EMDR is, where it came from, what the offshoots are, and how the certification levels work. EMDRIA is definitely a great resource for that, but I suspect (based on what some members share) that some therapists tend towards dumbing it down, or jargon-ing, rather than giving an open explanation. It takes a little time, but it's worth it.

@orangeweezel - I'm curious, if you don't mind my asking - it sounds like (from your OP) you've completed the training, and are in the process of finishing your certification. Is that right?

 

[orangeweezel]

Personally, it helps when my t checks in and asks all the questions. Example; "you seem really anxious....

Thanks for the feedback! I'll remember to be more specific with my questions. I try to never ask, "are you ok?" when I can usually tell just by the person's face that they aren't. Great suggestions about positive affirmations as well as not leaving too much silence. Those are helpful things for me to be conscious about!

 

[orangeweezel]

Hi,

When do you recommend to try EMDR?

This is a more complicated question than you might think. Personally, because I have seen and heard so many good things about EMDR, I might start some of it early in my work with someone. This is because EMDR is actually an 8-part process, and step 4 is where the bi-lateral stimulation and "processing of distressing material" happens. The earlier stages can take a very long time, and they include figuring out what the goal is, preparing with safe place, grounding techniques, and internal/external resources for safety, deciding which memory to target, and figuring out the parts that make up the memory (thoughts, feelings, body sensations, etc). If someone is transitioning to another therapist particularly for EMDR, they may want to jump in more quickly. I still take time to build a relationship of safety first, because it requires so much vulnerability. I think this might not be quite what you're asking, so here's another way to answer...

I think it's good to start EMDR when you have some social support other than your therapist (this can be one friend or family member that you can call to talk, or just sit with if you need to); when you are able to feel something slightly stressful and do some level of self-soothing, and when you're willing and ready to give it a good go, even if it gets tough. It can bring up so much, and takes such bravery, that many people feel disoriented with so much material rising between sessions they want to stop. It's continuing that helps heal and process the loose pieces into a more comprehensive whole. I recommend finding out enough information with the process that you're comfortable enough way before you start, including being comfortable enough to use the stop signal (which your T should tell you about before starting distressing material) and that you feel comfortable enough to set a small boundary with you T. (This could be "I've done all I want to do today.") Your T might push back on you a little, knowing that sometimes continuing through a tough place can actually get you feeling better before you leave, but you still are in control of how long you process.

I hope this answered your question, and if or if not, please feel free to ask in another way, or any follow-up questions. I'd be glad to answer!

 

[orangeweezel]

Perfect timing as i am starting emdr next monday. Very nervous but hopeful that it will ease some of my m...

Thanks for your question! And I'm so glad you checked out your therapist first. There are definitely after effects for many people, so it's a great thing to be aware of. Before the therapist begins processing any distressing material, make sure you feel like you have enough internal/external resources. This might mean someone who you can call (either to talk about the experience or just to hear the voice of someone who cares about you) or even someone who could drive you home. You should have a "safe place" visualization which can shift your body and mind to a more relaxed place. Many therapists will also do a "container exercise" which is an internal place to close off your painful stuff until the next session. I would suggest making sure you're able to have a certain level of self-soothing ability before jumping into the deep stuff (and the therapist should help with all this as part of the prep stage.) I hope you'll be able to tell the T if you don't feel ready enough, because you're really in charge of the process.

One way to prepare would be to start what I call T.I.C.E.S. journaling. You write down your Trigger, the Image that represents it (if any), the Cognition (thoughts it makes you have about your self, e.g. "I'm never good enough.), the Emotions attached to the experience, and any Sensations you feel in your body connected to it. This is also great to do in between sessions with what comes up. It helps because instead of things flitting in and out, it can give them a more stable shape to keep you more about to be in control. I hope this answers your question, and please feel free to ask any follow up questions (now or later after you start)!