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EMDR Self-Techniques

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I was a monster

Hey! I have that one, too ? That would be a good one to get rid of for sure.

Thank you for the detailed response. That's actually a big help because I have had a lot more fear of sudden new memories surfacing than I have about looking at my trauma. I have done so much looking at my trauma that part probably won't be so bad.
 
Sometimes you can recover stuff you may not necessarily want to recover. I was happy with not remembering every one of my traumatic events. I can remember them all now, and although it was nothing I was surprised by, it wasn't very fun. But having a skilled and responsive T makes all the difference in the world because they can and will help you get past anything that comes up.
 
although it was nothing I was surprised by, it wasn't very fun.

That's what I have been expecting and/or concerned about. I know shit went down. The stuff I do remember is pretty screwed up but I know I have strange mental blank spots and my sister has told me about things that I don't remember. I am sure that one day they will come up to the surface. I just don't want them to do it my first month at a new job or something like that.

In fact, I'd really rather go through something like EMDR during a period of unemployment like right now but I'm not sure I want to commit to finding a new therapist and hoping to get through anything before I have to go back to work. It's definitely something worth considering. Actually, there is a third option where I get a crap part-time job, pay my therapist to go through EMDR and then look for a real job after. Decisions, decisions.
 
, what do you think it is about the treatment that is so hard? Is it focusing on and confronting traumas
Yep. You basically relive the event to change how you think about it. It can be physically painful and I'm always exhausted afterwards.
as? Is it because new traumas surface? Is
Yep. I can't believe how many new things came up. Not like repressed memories but more memories I wanted to never face - if that makes sense? It's why I call them bubbles...it just kind of pops and there it is
s it because trauma responses increase during the treatment? All o
you
Yep. Freakiest one was when I lost the ability to speak. The first time that happened it scared the crap out of me
s. It makes me wonder if it is even worth it to do any EMDR
It is totally worth it!!! When you process the memory properly it's like a huge weight comes off your shoulders and you can finally breathe when you think about it because you are calm and almost indifferent. Things that used to give me horrible nightmares are now just sad events in my past.

Not everyone has the same reactions to emdr though. @somerandomguy and I have similar experiences in it, but my niece has had it done to increase her self confidence and my sister had it to process some memories of a bad car crash and both of them say it was incredibly relaxing. (Yep..I'm jealous! LOL)LOL
 
Is anyone doing any type of EMDR techniques on their own? If so, how is it going?

My therapist and I are doing a temporary split since he's out of state and found out that since he isn't licensed here, he shouldn't be working with me in a therapist capacity. Next week, he's giving me one free session as a coach and not a therapist. The point of this appointment is to teach me how to employ some EMDR techniques on my own since I confessed that I didn't intend to replace him right away. I am hoping to hire him as a coach after I go back to work (and can afford to) because he really is the best therapist I have had.

His attitude is that I am doing everything I need to be doing to manage my symptoms and life but my traumatic responses to many situations are so intense that no matter what I do after the fact, I am suffering a great deal physically and mentally. His hope is to help me dampen some of those responses.

The details, the memories, the pain and all the psychological shit has been pretty much talked to death for me and I have had a lot of trauma body work where major memories of abuse left me thinking I might choke to death on the table. I'm not scared of what is in there or what I might suddenly become aware of. I have enough clearly disturbing memories that I know that literally anything could happen and I feel totally ready for that.

Does anyone have any experience doing anything like this? I do have a copy of Getting Past Your Past and hope to employ some of the techniques therein but we are starting with a tone app for my headphones.
Finding a therapist that you trust and building a relationship with is so very important. I can understand not wanting to change. Not sure what the insurance rules or practicing laws are on where therapists need to be located but maybe he could do a FaceTime session where he currently is licensed from to your location.

My therapist and I have been doing EMDR via FaceTime recently. At first I was skeptical about it working over the phone but it totally works on me as long as I have my ear buds on and go to a secluded place where I can focus on her fingers without distractions. We do live in the same town (not sure if that makes a difference for licensing purposes or not) but we had to figure something out during quarantine.

At the end of my last session, my therapist said if anxiety or flashbacks happen to use the jar technique ... imagine putting any thoughts I have about the trauma that pop-up between sessions into a jar and closing the lid until our next session. She said if I still felt anxious after doing that then I could try this tapping technique where with my arms crossed I tap each shoulder one at a time and focus on where I feel it in my body and breathe air into that space followed by positive affirmations. She said I could also imagine my safe place while tapping and put myself there by feeling my surroundings and making my self present. Seems to be helpIng me cope and is alleviating any further re-traumatization or anxiety. Maybe that can help you process or give you some relief too.

I’ve also seen YouTube videos on another form of the tapping technique that can aide in processing. It’s called EFT tapping, if you’re interested.

I have been hearing a lot about how hard EMDR is to go through and I am curious, what do you think it is about the treatment that is so hard? Is it focusing on and confronting traumas? Is it because new traumas surface? Is it because trauma responses increase during the treatment? All of the above? All of the above and more?

I'm going into this after 15 years of talk therapy and CBT plus a few years of school counseling and a lot of bodywork and so I can't help but wonder if my hardest days of treatment are behind me. I'm really struggling with the notion that this is going to suck ass after everything else already sucked ass. It makes me wonder if it is even worth it to do any EMDR.
It’s so worth it. Talk therapy and journaling helps me maneuver through new or current situations. But for past trauma, EMDR is the only thing that has worked.

When you process the memory properly it's like a huge weight comes off your shoulders and you can finally breathe when you think about it because you are calm and almost indifferent. Things that used to give me horrible nightmares are now just sad events in my past.

Not everyone has the same reactions to emdr though. @somerandomguy and I have similar experiences in it, but my niece has had it done to increase her self confidence and my sister had it to process some memories of a bad car crash and both of them say it was incredibly relaxing. (Yep..I'm jealous! LOL)LOL
When the weight is being lifted off of your shoulders, does it feel all tingly to you?
For me I get this tingly sensation from my chest, shoulders and head. It’s such a weird but amazing feeling. It mostly happens when I connect the dots or am finally able to say something out loud that I’ve never been able to say before. It’s very freeing.
 
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