End Of Therapy

[Chosen]

So...May 22nd is the date for the final session of my work with my T. We have one session on May 15th and then the last on the 22nd.

I'm so nervous. Today we spent a lot of time remembering what we've done, been through, and talked about. I'm going to miss him so much. It's been 4 and a half years...I don't know what it's going to be like without him. I'm trying to get another T lined up, but it's challenging.

Any advice?

 

[Dana1010]

I got rid of a therapist last fall and though I was with her for far less than four years, I felt a slight sense of worry after our last session. I realized that I had just said goodbye to my only friend, and I was alone again. So I just felt slightly worried about being cut loose and on my own again, but that passed after about a week. At that point I started to actually feel a little more...stable. I began to wobble out of that dank hole I had been in with all of those ugly things from the past and remember a different me--the shiny, perfect, pretend me! The me I'd been pretending to be all those years while PTSD nipped, unbeknownst to me, at my heels. Out of Attica. I was back to denial, and I liked it. :devilish: Well, not entirely back to denial. I've continued to live in seclusion and visit this site more or less regularly to talk about things. But the really hard work of eviscerating ugly secrets and unspeakable memories from yourself in front of another, possibly judgmental, person was behind me, and I was like a kid let out of detention.

Well, now I am looking for a new therapist (should be the next week or two if I can finally get this insurance mess sorted out) because of this one chapter of my life that is a gargantuan block of trauma that I didn't even touch on with my former therapist. It is giving me hell, and there are some things I just have to tell someone...anyone.

So I would say be prepared for a spell of loneliness but try to enjoy the brief vacation from yourself while you look for a good new therapist.

 

[watundah]

Why are you leaving if you aren't ready?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I believe that you will make the right choice for you.

After nine years of therapy I woke up and decided I needed to learn to think for myself and be my real self and I have not regretted it.

Of course I have gone back here and there for tune ups and EMDR and that changed my life.

I still have cognitive distortions and bad days but my life is so much better for being ready to quit therapy when I did.

 

[Pencil]

Wishing you the best Noah, I know how difficult it is going to be, and how you've been dreading this.

Perhaps my timing is really off, but I do think you need someone with more warmth, and I'll keep my fingers crossed that you find more of what you need with a new T.

 

[seedling]

I just changed therapists at the beginning of this year after 4 3/4 yrs with my previous T. My previous T was also my first T, so that made it harder. I didn't know what it would be like with someone else.

I've found that I like my new therapist and she helps me in different ways. I'm opening up in new areas. And, yes it was hard at first. It took time to feel stable. Each time I would really miss my old T, my next session would bring another level of depth to the new relationship. It got so I wasn't missing the old T so much as the new one filled some of the same needs.

I made a list of what was important in finding a new therapist and searched for those things first. It felt hard, I seemed to run in to dead ends, then I found the therapist I have now.

 

[Chosen]

I'm leaving my T because he works at the university and I'm leaving there. I wish he'd been a private practice T that I could have seen weekly, but that was never possible. He's been really good to me, though we've definitely had our struggles.

@Pencil , yeah....maybe. I've got a strong possibility lined up for Indiana...but it's going to be hard, because I'm purposefully going to try to work with a woman instead of a man, and that carries with it other challenges. Though for this summer I'm hoping to see a local guy just to ease into the transition down south. Hoping to do art therapy. I don't think I'd want hugs from a woman T...just the guys. But then I don't like hugs from women as much in general. (and I do get a hug goodbye...but it's going to be short *ugh*)

I'm going to miss him a lot. Gonna be really hard. I've got to come up with a plan for right after the final session & then for that weekend.

 

[ghotiff]

Maybe think of what feelings will come up after your last session (eg loneliness was mentioned above) and come up with a strategy to manage each one.

For example line up a friend that is willing to chat with you for no reason, that you can call if you feel lonely.

 

[Rumors]

My t took another job after almost 3 years. It was tough, no lie. However, I saw it through to the end and went to the last session and lived through it. I was glad to say goodbye and I continued on with someone else that has been equally trustworthy and helpful. It was perhaps the first relationship I had with anyone that wasn't completely dysfunctional. Although I understand it is a professional relationship, it was still the first one I have ever had where it wasn't just really unhealthy in one form or another. I am thankful for that experience.
Good luck!! I hope you find your transition to be one of empowerment where you can find your inner mojo!!

 

[StellaBlue]

Last year I left my therapist of three years (who I loved) to try working with a DBT-trained therapist. The first one I chose didn't work out. I think part of the issue was that none of us (me, the old therapist and the new therapist) took into account the strength of my emotions for my old therapist and the difficulty I had grieving the loss (even though it was my choice). Then there were other issues with the new therapist. I ended up finding a new therapist and it's been about 5 months now and it's been a very good experience. My advice is to make sure you give yourself the time and permission to grieve the end of the relationship. And you are apparently (if I'm interpreting correctly) going through a lot of other transitions as well (graduating, moving, switching therapists) - so you may feel a little untethered. If you do, it will help to remember that all of the changes are disorienting and that it's perfectly normal.

One last piece of advice - when you get to Indiana, don't refer to it as "down south". Most Hoosiers consider themselves "Midwesterners". You don't hit the south until you cross the border into Kentucky :).

 

[starlight26]

It's hard leaving your therapist, my last therapist retired and i started to see someone new. It's really daunting seeing someone else, however once i got used to seeing someone new i actually found i work well with my new therapist. It was good in that i took all i learned from my old therapist, and now seeing someone else, it's like having a different perspective. You might find that it works out well for you.

 

[Chosen]

thanks for all the comments. I appreciate them.