Equine Therapy

[Freida]

The group that does my ET has shut down for December and January, but they asked for volunteers to come up and help keep the horses company and do some barn work. They said the last time they shut down the horses actually showed signs of depression because they didn't have any visitors - how strange is that?!

I went up one day last week and helped with some clean up , feeding the horses and then just visiting with them. The stable has 11 horses and they seemed pretty happy someone came to say hi. I think "my" horse was miffed because i was wandering all over the stables :laugh:

I am so glad I'll still be able to interact with them until classes start again in feb. I think it's going to be really helpful at keeping me sane.

 

[Kubash16]

That’s so cool!

 

[DogwoodTree]

I did equine therapy for about 6 months. It was mostly a waste of time and money. The T I worked with seemed to think that I would naturally interact with the horses in a way that would be helpful, with no guidance from her...I guess as if interacting with a large, instinctual animal like that would somehow be naturally soothing for me. I like horses and all--I grew up around them and am comfortable with horses and enjoy riding them. But being autistic, I interact with both people and animals with purpose, not just to "hang out." Because she never gave me tasks to guide the time, we mostly just stood around staring at the horses as if that was supposed to help. Supposedly, the horses would instinctually pick up on my mood and issues, and then act those issues out in front of us so we could evaluate that information and use it to inform our discussions. But I was never convinced that the horses knew anything more about me than I knew about myself. Most of the time they just ignored me, or just wanted to be petted. I didn't have any structure to how to interact with them. So we spent a lot of time standing around just staring at them.

The only thing about it all that really helped me was being outside and having space to move around in the fields instead of sitting in an office. It helped pull me out of the frozen state that I normally sat in when in my T's office. But that could have been accomplished by hiking a trail together, or meeting off-site somewhere...which would have been a lot less expensive than working with an equine therapist in addition to my normal therapist (I had to pay both therapists for being at the equine sessions together).

 

[Kubash16]

That’s really interesting @DogwoodTree. I’ve been watching YouTube videos (calms me to know what to expect) about how it works. What I’ve seen is several different exercises done with the horses. Maybe she didn’t do any because she was waiting for a more intuitive cooperation between you and the horse, trying to ease you into it?

Thankfully, my regular T and equine T will be the same person. Which will be incredibly helpful.

 

[DogwoodTree]

That’s really interesting @DogwoodTree. Maybe she didn’t do any because she was waiting for a more intuitive cooperation between you and the horse, trying to ease you into it?

I guess that's what I kept expecting, and why I kept at it for 6 months. But you'd think something more would happen within 6 months?? It was so frustrating and pointless. And it was a year we really couldn't afford that extra expense, so that made it even more frustrating. My DH ended up having to work a seasonal job at UPS at the end of the year so we'd have grocery money those last few weeks. If I hadn't wasted all that money on the equine therapy, we would've been okay financially that year.

 

[Kubash16]

I guess that's what I kept expecting, and why I kept at it for 6 months. But you'd think something more would happen within 6 months?? It was so frustrating and pointless. And it was a year we really couldn't afford that extra expense, so that made it even more frustrating. My DH ended up having to work a seasonal job at UPS at the end of the year so we'd have grocery money those last few weeks. If I hadn't wasted all that money on the equine therapy, we would've been okay financially that year.

That would be so frustrating! Did you bring your concerns to either therapist?

 

[DogwoodTree]

That would be so frustrating! Did you bring your concerns to either therapist?

I tried. This was the first year I was in therapy with professionals, and I had gotten in such bad shape emotionally before I took that plunge because of the financial challenges of paying for it. There were several times, though, that I did express my frustration at not knowing what I was supposed to be doing, and trying to get more guidance. The equine T was so convinced that simply being around the horses and talking about their behavior when I was there would eventually result in my interacting with them naturally in ways that would be helpful...that I would be drawn to them, or empowered by interacting with them, or whatever, and if she gave me guidance, it would interfere with that therapeutic process or something. I don't know. I never did figure it out. Even now, three years later, I don't have a clue what I was supposed to be doing there.

 

[Kubash16]

I tried. This was the first year I was in therapy with professionals, and I had gotten in such bad shape emotionally before I took that plunge because of the financial challenges of paying for it. There were several times, though, that I did express my frustration at not knowing what I was supposed to be doing, and trying to get more guidance. The equine T was so convinced that simply being around the horses and talking about their behavior when I was there would eventually result in my interacting with them naturally in ways that would be helpful...that I would be drawn to them, or empowered by interacting with them, or whatever, and if she gave me guidance, it would interfere with that therapeutic process or something. I don't know. I never did figure it out. Even now, three years later, I don't have a clue what I was supposed to be doing there.

I can understand her hesitancy at not stepping in. If there’s too much guidance it would take away from what is supposed to be an organic experience. But if you just aren’t connecting, I’m not sure what there would be to do. Maybe for some it just doesn’t work. Not every therapy works for every person.

I hope my experience doesn’t turn out like that. I do connect to animals in general really well. But I don’t have a ton of experience with horses. I’m super nervous none of them are going to pick me and my nerves are going to chase them all away lol.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I hope my experience doesn’t turn out like that. I do connect to animals in general really well. But I don’t have a ton of experience with horses. I’m super nervous none of them are going to pick me and my nerves are going to chase them all away lol.

I suppose if you've not been around horses much, it could be very helpful. Horses pick up on your fear or your peace. So you'll see the difference as you learn to calm your nerves--you'll get quick feedback on that, and it helps you to monitor your own expressions of anxiety to affect the horse's behavior differently. But I learned all that as a kid, both from being around horses, and from being parentified by both my parents (and my sisters). I learned to set aside my needs and exude confidence, peace, and stability for their sakes, so equine therapy wasn't helpful for me there. If anything, I needed help getting in touch with my fears, not calming my energy despite my fears.

The equine T did give me a task one day to walk one of the horses from the field into where we were at the barn. I thought she meant for me to, like, somehow mentally befriend the horse so it would follow me. And I didn't succeed. The next week, she gave me the same task, and I said well it would be easier if I could use one of the halters. She said of course, that I was allowed to use anything in the barn I thought would be helpful. And I'm thinking, "where's the challenge in that then? That's easy!" So I took the halter and rope lead, and calmly walked out to the horse. I pet her a few minutes, then slipped the halter over her face and buckled it down, managing my energy and voice and movements. It was so easy. I walked her in towards the barn, and I think the T was actually disappointed that it went so well. But...I'd grown up around horses. I knew how to do this already. I actually knew how to catch a much more skittish horse than this one was. So...even though she did give me a task those two weeks, it was pointless because she didn't seem to be accounting for the fact that I was already comfortable with horses.

 

[Kubash16]

I think T wants me in it to control my nerves, but also build trust. I know you didn’t get much benefit as far as emotional control, but did you get any other benefits, such as building trust with another being?

 

[DogwoodTree]

I know you didn’t get much benefit as far as emotional control, but did you get any other benefits, such as building trust with another being?

Building trust? No, not at all. I don't see horses as being responsible for me in any way, more something that I would care for if it was my responsibility to do so.

I did discover some helpful information about myself, though. In one of the sessions where we simply stood there and watched the horses, I was aware that I was very uncomfortable with watching them nuzzle each other, and then I realized the Ts didn't show any sign of discomfort with this. In talking about that, we discovered that I have mirror touch synesthesia...where I literally feel in my own body when someone else is touched. I thought this was normal and that everyone experienced this. But turns out it's very rare and explains some of my discomfort around other people. It was one piece of the puzzle, and I'm grateful for that insight. But it still didn't justify six months and all the extra money and time and frustration.

 

[Kubash16]

I don’t think it’s so much the horses being responsible for me. More of the horses being representative of other humans and me learning how to be around them and rely on them to not hurt me and just let them share my space. Like one particular exercise I saw on YouTube, the T had a girl feel her way around the horse with her eyes closed. Trusting the horse not to kick her, letting herself be vulnerable to the horse, controlling her own stuff so as not to trigger the horse. That kinda thing.