Every Night

[LSNP]

How prevalent is the symptom of Dreams and Nightmares?

I think it is so odd that while I was actually LIVING the nightmare, I dreamt about it only occasionally but now that it is supposedly OVER, I dream about the stalker every single night. Okay, nearly every single night. I had a few good nights last week and don't really remember any specific dream. That is a gift.

Perhaps it is because I THINK about him and the ex and what happened every waking moment?

I dream about him and / or the ex every single night. Will this ever go away? Why do I need to relive this every night? They aren't always nightmares. Last night I was simply forced to tell somebody, explain again, that "I have a stalker." Then I have to make them understand that I really do, that it's the real deal, that I lived this nightmare - still live it - since May 20, 2005.

Last night it was about taking safety classes, self-defense classes. Oddly enough, the stalker never really physically frightened me. The emotional scars, I think, will be with me for life. :(

 

[anthony]

Fear is what provokes symptoms, nightmares being a symptom. Fear is an emotion, likely encompassing many other emotions. You cannot treat nightmares... impossible. You must treat the cause, being the negative emotion, then the nightmares just go away because you no longer go to sleep harbouring this negative emotion and fear.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

This may sound a little out there but the last time I had a nightmare about the main perpetrator leading to PTSD for me I stood up to him in the nightmare. I haven't dreamt of him since. I can't say for certain if I never will again, but I haven't since that nightmare in which I reacted completely differently to the situation and stood up to him.

 

[LSNP]

Fear. Odd. I don't think I fear him. Many people think I am insane because I don't fear him... but I don't. I hate him, I fantasize about kicking his face in, I fear any form of contact... but I don't think he is capable of physically hurting me. He would have to kill himself, too, and he is much too cowardly to kill himself.

But I have nightmares. So perhaps you are right, Anthony. And superjen? Yours is an interesting post. Standing up to him. In my dream. I wonder if that will ever happen? I don't think it will, because even in a dream state I will realize that standing up to him would mean contact and I could not do that. No contact works both ways. It would remove my legal protection. I will have to have a No Contact order for the rest of my life. The current one expires in 2015.

SIgh. Never did call the therapist. How long will I avoid this, I wonder?

 

[Deleted member 5760]

LSNP - I will share what I mean. The person I refer to actually jumped off a building in front of me. I went downstairs for help and I went back up. At which point he jumped in front of myself and another.

In the dream I didn't go back upstairs. I simply didn't get in the elevator. So in some strange way you're right. I didn't fight him. I simply didn't go back upstairs. He was asking me to come back up (how I could hear from several storeys down on the ground I don't know - but dreams are abstract). I simply didn't go back up. So standing up to him actually meant walking away.

 

[LSNP]

Interesting. Some dreams are so clear. I once dreamt that I had see through holes along my spine. My ex was in this dream. There was no doubt in my mind that it meant I knew I was spineless when it came to him.

I'm glad your nightmares ended.

 

[Deleted member 5760]

My best advice is really to call the therapist that you've been avoiding LSNP. I put off therapy for years. I gave myself every excuse in the book to not accept therapy (the biggest one being 'I can handle this on my own'). Well, you're clearly not handling it your own.

If there is one thing that therapy has taught me above all else it's this :
The BRAVEST people I know ask for help. They know when to ask for help and not see it as a weakness. If help makes you stronger, then asking for it makes you brave.

 

[Iam]

I agree LSNP, entering therapy will help you work thru this. On the dreams, both of my T's have suggested that having the dreams while in therapy means that my mind is still processing what we are working on and that is a good thing believe it or not. You can also make suggestions to yourself as you are falling asleep such as thinking about what you want to dream about. IDK...just a thought ;o)

 

[PTSDT]

I have gotten regular therapy for decades. In the last 2 1/2 years I have been seeing a trauma therapist as needed. I have had such bad nightmares that I am ruining my teeth.

Back in March, I read a book about keeping a dream journal. I decided to keep a nightmare journal. My friend gave me a book that is a dream interpretation dictionary. I have been regularly writing down my nightmares and dreams I remember since April. I saw a decline in the nightmares. I was also shocked at what the people, places and things in my dreams/nightmares meant according to the interpretations in the book. I mean it really blew me away how things meant something completely different than I was thinking.

I did the dream/nightmare journal for for about 4 months. I shared it with a close friend when I needed to talk about it. Then, I heard about prolonged exposure therapy. I am doing that. After a therapy session, the nightmares get worse. Then, they improve again. I am hoping they will go away for the most part by the end.

It is very difficult. But I don't want to lose all of my teeth. I am almost constant pain. So, I am forcing myself to do all of this...desperate I guess to try anything that will keep me from ruining my teeth.

Writing down what I dream about was the beginning of truly structured, intense PTSD therapy for me. Deciding to do my dream journal was a good way to ease myself into it. Studying the dream book and looking up my dreams made me think about things in a completely different way than I was interpreting them on my own. My dream journal was a good way for me to begin to face it a little bit on my own before jumping in with the more difficult task of facing it all.