Sufferer Ex Paramedic - Ashamed Of What I Have Become

[Chook]

Hey all.

Ex paramedic with ptsd and related stuff. Did 16 years. Been out of the job for a bit now, but still dream (night terrors) about it. Seem to be like a robot in some ways, go into long sleep modes and struggle to function at the most basic levels of living.

Had to leave my wife and beautiful kids and now live alone. No violence, just they couldn't cope, adjust or understand what I had become I guess.

Love my kids stacks, but am ashamed of what I have become.

Anyhow, found this site by chance, lets see where it goes.

Cheers
Chook

 

[Elisacullen21]

Welcome to the forum :)

 

[amethist]

Hi Chook

Welcome to the forum.

We do have a couple of ex and still working paramedics on here. They will let you know who they are in time.

Maybe in time you will have more and more contact with your family, it is hard on them, but keep going forward, and never give up.

Amethist

 

[Chook]

Thanks for the kind thoughts Amethist. Am feeling a tad brighter today.

Still looking around this site and getting a feel for the place.
Am gobsmacked at how many use this place and how open everyone is. So many similarities here I can relate with.

Chook

 

[simplekindofgirl]

Welcome to the forum Chook. I hope that you are able to use these pages to find some peace and comfort in your journey.

 

[Eleanor]

Welcome Chook. I was pretty overwhelmed at all the others too. It is a bit much to get your arms around at first. I hope the knowledge and experience here will help you heal and reclaim your life.

Best wishes for you and your family.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

Welcome to the forum. :)

Sorry you are so isolated now. That must be hard on you, and its pretty common with PTSD suffers to isolate. It tears down your self-esteem. Very happy you found us though, the support here is wonderful.

Are you seeing anyone to help you though this?

Take care of yourself, your health and safety are important right now.

 

[BloomInWinter]

Welcome to the forum, (((((Chook))))).

May your traumatized psyche finally find rest, comfort, and hope.

I'm an ex-paramedic as well. There is life after EMS.

...and you will be amazed at how much better your life is a year from now if you stick with the forum and do the work.

You are not alone. Your new life is beginning. May it be profoundly rewarding and filled with friendship, love, and laughter. You deserve it. Thank you for your service!

 

[Ron]

Welcome !

 

[Ron]

I believe you can have a normal life again and feel normal again.

 

[joe_amnesia]

Hi Chook,

Just joined here a couple of days ago - spent 8 years in EMS - and had to move on - it was rewarding but has left a few scars and behavior issues. Loved the job, witnessed the best and worst of humanity.


When i first found this I had thought I was alone - you now have a global group to talk to!


Keep safe - and try not to isolate.

 

[Chook]

Joe, what you say is so familiar mate.

I also loved the job, had a passion for learning and helping people. Took great pride in being a person that society needed and trusted no matter what their circumstances.

Yes there is a dark side the public rarely see and yes it cumulates in the mind.

I still miss the job badly, but accept I'm no longer suited to it.