Ex-t emailing me distressing things...do i tell current t?

[chaotic harmony]

He smiled, thanked me for the thought, and went on to say he was quite capable of looking out for himself, so not to worry about it.

I'm pretty sure mine would say something very similar. It's just hard to get that thought out of my head because it's been ingrained in there since childhood. I need to work on that.

 

[Rumors]

Does that make sense?

Absolutely!! There are so many things that other people do innocently without malice intent that trigger me beyond belief. I have to really sit down and explore why I am having such a reaction to someone that is sincerely NOT life or death.
My therapist is THE FIRST PERSON EVER that has sat through the good, bad, and ugly without judgement or execution. It has often thrown me for a loop why anyone would want to sit through some of the shit that I have said. It has become an hour a week that I depend on to keep my sanity as I continue on this journey. It is crazy and humbling all in the same breath. Write in your journal as you work through this bc it could be incredibly helpful to share where your feelings and memories go as you explore this.... please post anytime or pm me. I am sending loads of support your way. Hang in there!

 

[chaotic harmony]

@Rumors :hug: I very much appreciate your kindness, thank you!!

Write in your journal as you work through this bc it could be incredibly helpful to share where your feelings and memories go as you explore this

I have been journaling about this but I'm still trying to correctly identify feelings/emotions. He actually has me do homework surrounding that. I'm not quite sure what the proper protocol is for me to take ownership of my feelings. Like...I'm not accusatory toward him...i.e., "YOU did this so now I feel...". I'm saying, "I feel this way because..." Is that still accusatory? I just don't want to shift blame onto him for the way I feel.

 

[NightSky]

I don't think you need to worry about blame. I think in this kind of relationship you just get to say "hey, I'm feeling x y and z. I don't know why." There's no protocol for taking ownership of your feelings in therapy. That's one of the things you get to learn as you go, in a relationship where all of your feelings are valid and matter and blame isn't important (at least in a healthy therapeutic relationship.)
I feel for you and how hard it is for him to cancel like that. I would feel the exact same.
You also sound like a part of you feels like you're a nuisance and you want to spare him from you. I struggle with that majorly and my T says I wouldn't feel that unless I was taught that my feelings should be suppressed and aren't valid. And to work hard at not listening to that voice because it's simply not true.
You are valuable and just as important as the people he scheduled in your time slot. I hope he can ease your mind about it but in the meantime it's important you know that you matter.

 

[Rumors]

No, I don't think you are shifting blame. I think the key thing you have realized is that the SITUATION has created emotion in you that you don't quite understand and you need to explore where this is coming from a little further. I think the thing to remember here is you could have put anyone into that scenario, or one similar, and your reaction would likely be the same. The fact that you are trying to figure out why he has that much effect on you makes the whole thing much more healthy. If you were just stuck in blame and anger and making the move to quit therapy, I would question your skills here but you are not. You see he made a mistake, it was extremely painful and it stirred up emotions that you can't quite explain but will work on exploring! I think it is great work!

 

[GWhizz]

I'm pretty sure mine would say something very similar. It's just hard to get that thought out o...

Yes mine always tells me how she has her full faculties about her and would be honest with me if I was in anyway irritating her etc.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I'm pretty sure mine would say something very similar. It's just hard to get that thought out o...

I'm so the same way!!!